In-law problems?

[sall]

When my friend was about to be married into this rich family, the future mil insisted on choosing the wedding gown for her. My friend is docile and eager to please the mil, so she agreed. The gown was so old-fashioned and does not suit her at all. The worst was during the tea ceremony on the wedding day, the mil made the bride offer tea to the nephews and nieces. Most of them were very young, sec and pri sch kids. I was the bridesmaid then, and I was really shocked that the bride, being the aunty by marriage, had to offer tea to the kids. Another mil from HELL!

[smurf]

Deleted.

[smurf]

Oppsgal:

Actually, I think a lot of you are very fortunate, at least, there is someone to be around should you need help to jaga with kids, just to keep a few hrs look out when u run errands, etc Although you have to bear with plenty of nonsenses, but that's another story. Just hope that you guys appreciate what you have, and cheer up! :xedfingers:

I used to think that way also, but guess what? I hate that idea now. Coz it's really very xiong to do things by yourself. Unless u have friends, mum, etc. And domestic helpers, but then, that again, is another story.

So if you mil is not that unbearable, can bear just bear, can't bear, never mind, complain here! :celebrate:

[smurf]

Chenonceau,


Thank you!

Dun worry, things will turn out well…

[BeContented]

Chenonceau:

And given that mine are nowhere near as difficult as cwc's (or some others), I should be glad and thankful. But I am still a bit scared of this new attempt to stay together.

Chenonceau, dun get too affected by us, things are probably not as bad

Ha ha.....now I feel bad......I must have portrayed my MIL very badly
MIL is difficult cos' I am also difficult in some ways. So when both refused to step down, things turn uglier...... Guess if she were not so bias and willing to change some of the bad habits, she is actually quite OK, definitely not evil by heart, just stubborn and unable to listen to other people. Sometimes, things just get blown out of proportion when we start getting upset, stressed and of course, pent-up frustration

忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空
Guess looking at my ailing & dying FIL, suddenly realised whatever anger/frustrations there were, it's no longer important.....better to forgive and forget.

[kiddo]

Chenonceau:

kiddo:

DH say only one mother but can have many choice for wifey :wrongmove: :heresmyfish:

He said that? :spank: Oh well... you also have many choice for hubby. :evil:

Chenonceau - You \" tar pau pu ping\" for me issit :hugs:

Dh say is MIL tel DH de when he is young, maybe MIL
afraid she will lose a son to the wifey so \" sian xia sow wei chiang\"

:boogie:

[janet88]

sall:

The worst was during the tea ceremony on the wedding day, the mil made the bride offer tea to the nephews and nieces. Most of them were very young, sec and pri sch kids. I was the bridesmaid then, and I was really shocked that the bride, being the aunty by marriage, had to offer tea to the kids. Another mil from HELL!

When hubby's youngest sister got married, her then husband got hell from the MIL during tea ceremony...she gave him hell in front of everyone. I asked then-bf-now-hubby how come his mother is so mean...what was she trying to prove ?

[Funz]

sall:

When my friend was about to be married into this rich family, the future mil insisted on choosing the wedding gown for her. My friend is docile and eager to please the mil, so she agreed. The gown was so old-fashioned and does not suit her at all. The worst was during the tea ceremony on the wedding day, the mil made the bride offer tea to the nephews and nieces. Most of them were very young, sec and pri sch kids. I was the bridesmaid then, and I was really shocked that the bride, being the aunty by marriage, had to offer tea to the kids. Another mil from HELL!

Same here lah. DH's paternal aunt in front of everyone, said I cannot address my PILs like DH as I am not their daughter so must address as lou yeh and lai lai. Wah lao, I looked at her like she has grown another head. Haha. But too bad for them I am no doormat. So I addressed ILs according to how DH addressed them and loudly. That bully of an aunt was 'counselling' MIL not to accept the way I addressed them. Situation was eased when another aunt of DH's stepped in and said 'aiyah what era oredi, all the same lah.' Then the 2nd incident, they insisted that I serve DH's younger sister and his younger cousins, etc tea. My own aunt who was there was livid. Told my aunt aiyah they so hard up to drink the tea then let them drink lah, no biggie. She said they are obviously trying to put me down even before I truly step into their household. Told my aunt no worries, I trust that DH has my back.

Some of them simply has this thinking that they must 'show' the potential DIL who is boss which I think is ridiculous. Your position as the DH's mother is firm, I definitely don't want to be his mother so what is there to fight about.

[Chenonceau]

Funz:

I trust that DH has my back.

This is important. I'm glad DH has my back too.

Nonetheless, when foster DD began to date the son of a well off family (who REALLY liked her) and got some barbs from his Mother, I counselled her to let the relationship go. I was worried that if the relationship ended in marriage, DD would be put down in the many ways that you all are sharing here... and she being very gentle and obliging, would never be able to withstand all that.

Not good to marry too far up either. Best to be equally yoked. That way, when a lady marries, she marries into happiness not tyranny. It may not have been the right thing to do... to counsel her to drop the fellow, but I was afraid.

[Chenonceau]

cwc:

Chenonceau:

And given that mine are nowhere near as difficult as cwc's (or some others), I should be glad and thankful. But I am still a bit scared of this new attempt to stay together.

Chenonceau, dun get too affected by us, things are probably not as bad

Ha ha.....now I feel bad......I must have portrayed my MIL very badly
MIL is difficult cos' I am also difficult in some ways. So when both refused to step down, things turn uglier...... Guess if she were not so bias and willing to change some of the bad habits, she is actually quite OK, definitely not evil by heart, just stubborn and unable to listen to other people. Sometimes, things just get blown out of proportion when we start getting upset, stressed and of course, pent-up frustration

忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空
Guess looking at my ailing & dying FIL, suddenly realised whatever anger/frustrations there were, it's no longer important.....better to forgive and forget.

Waaaah! Woman! You are really something to be able to respond with such graciousness! I think things for you are REALLY bad. It's no joke to look after dementia patients even if they're your own parents. Shitting and urinating all over the house is terrible :yikes: ... and some more got raw meat on fridge handle... I don't think you have portrayed anyone badly. Raw meat on fridge handle is raw meat on fridge handle... how does one portray that nicely? :?

:udawoman: :udawoman: :udawoman:

I am always amazed at the spunk, the strength and the endurance of the many Mommies here... What would the world be like without steel magnolias like you. Wanna know what a steel magnolia is? http://dixiesweetheart.tripod.com/Magnolia.html