In-law problems?
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ectanz:
[/quote]ectanz:
[quote=\"Flowermonaster\"]With such a difficult-to-please mother, I have no problem handling my MIL. That does not mean there is no issue, it's just that I learned to 大事化小，小事化无.
My mum too will say something bad behind my SIL's back but this is becos she did a lot things for her but not being appreciated. My mum did all this is due to my bro. My mum is typical 重男轻\"girl\". She treated her DIL better than her own daughter.
However for my MIL, she will badmouth anyone who against her. She can't tolerate any contradiction. Anything I don't agree, I will juz leave it to my hb to settle with her.
An example, we both hv different views in rearing of children. Although my MIL should be given credit for helping me to look after my dd1 from young but her method really unacceptable.
She treated my dd1 like a baby when she was already 5 yrs old. For a 5 yrs old kid, they will know how to eat themselve, showering, etc... But my dd1 can't. I hv a hard time of training her during weekend but without success. At last I made decision of switching her 1/2 days Childcare to full day. I changed her ccc near to my hm so tat my MIL will not bring her back anytime. Till now, my MIL is still very :mad: at me for making such decision. My dd1 now is 6 yrs old. I don't regret of making such decision as I can see major transform of my dd1. Now she can do everything by herself.
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ectanz:
my FIL feeds my 9yo when he couldn't finish his food! :faint:
She treated my dd1 was still a baby when she was already 5 yrs old. For a 5 yrs old kid, they will know how to eat themselve, showering, etc... But my dd1 can't. I hv a hard time of training her during weekend but without success. At last I made decision of switching her 1/2 days Childcare to full day. I changed her ccc near to my hm so tat my MIL will not bring her back anytime. Till now, my MIL is still very :mad: at me for making such decision. My dd1 now is 6 yrs old. I don't regret of making such decision as I can see major transform of my dd1. Now she can do everything by my herself.
and my 9yo likes all the attention. :faint:
at granny's house, the 2 kids behave like kings...served hand to feet.
at home, they do stuff themselves, else they'll never even get breakfast served during weekends. (mummy lazy :politebleah:) -
jedamum:
Mine too. Treated like princess... Will yr kids compare such difference in treatment between hm n IL place? My dd1 does.. She will ask why she has to do everything herself at hm but at granny hse, was being served. She in fact looking forward to go to their hm to stay on every weekend as she is freed fr doing anything.
my FIL feeds my 9yo when he couldn't finish his food! :faint:ectanz:
She treated my dd1 was still a baby when she was already 5 yrs old. For a 5 yrs old kid, they will know how to eat themselve, showering, etc... But my dd1 can't. I hv a hard time of training her during weekend but without success. At last I made decision of switching her 1/2 days Childcare to full day. I changed her ccc near to my hm so tat my MIL will not bring her back anytime. Till now, my MIL is still very :mad: at me for making such decision. My dd1 now is 6 yrs old. I don't regret of making such decision as I can see major transform of my dd1. Now she can do everything by my herself.
and my 9yo likes all the attention. :faint:
at granny's house, the 2 kids behave like kings...served hand to feet.
at home, they do stuff themselves, else they'll never even get breakfast served during weekends. (mummy lazy :politebleah:) -
ectanz:
my ds1 used to compare why granny can buy XXX brand(ed) ice-cream often while we cannot. i had to explain the whole concept about the grans having no more financial commitment and we have to save $$ for his education. then very funny, my ds2 when eating those brand(ed) foodstuff will go,'wah...my mother said very expensive leh!' :oops:
Mine too. Treated like princess... Will yr kids compare such difference in treatment between hm n IL place? My dd1 does.. She will ask why she has to do everything herself at hm but at granny hse, was being served. She in fact looking forward to go to their hm to stay on every weekend as she is freed fr doing anything.
my ds2 hardly compare. he is happy go lucky type.
my ds1 do compare, but he accept my reasoning.
they look forward to staying over, but most of their fav stuff (doodling, adhoc craft, toys, books) are at home, so they would feel bored unless the grans line up some programe for them. -
My DS don't compare in term of food and/or treatment. My MIL & my mum will offer him a lot of food when he is at their home but my DS has not much interest in food. He will be given toys too whenever we visit but DS never bring those toys home prefer to leave them there for other grandchildren to play too. He don't mind doing things on his own at home as it makes him feel independent.
He likes to stay at home more. He can relax at home with his books, toys & bed whereas my ILs and my parents place do not have those.jedamum:
my ds1 used to compare why granny can buy XXX brand(ed) ice-cream often while we cannot. i had to explain the whole concept about the grans having no more financial commitment and we have to save $$ for his education. then very funny, my ds2 when eating those brand(ed) foodstuff will go,'wah...my mother said very expensive leh!' :oops:ectanz:
Mine too. Treated like princess... Will yr kids compare such difference in treatment between hm n IL place? My dd1 does.. She will ask why she has to do everything herself at hm but at granny hse, was being served. She in fact looking forward to go to their hm to stay on every weekend as she is freed fr doing anything.
my ds2 hardly compare. he is happy go lucky type.
my ds1 do compare, but he accept my reasoning.
they look forward to staying over, but most of their fav stuff (doodling, adhoc craft, toys, books) are at home, so they would feel bored unless the grans line up some programe for them. -
Hi mummies, m new in this thread. Just read some and would like to comment too. My mil also does not boil ‘cooling water’ for me when she brought just a small bottle just to give to her son. I think mayb cantonese mil does tt. Mine also cantonese. And I don’t suggest staying too near too. They’ll just pop-in whenever they like. Sometimes Sunday we would like to snuggle on bed but fil will knock on the door at 6 plus early in the morning. I d mentioned to my mil and guess what my fil said " The sun already out" what? still early? Sometimes fil will pop in and sit at the living room watching TV without speaking. He’ll come anytime any day whenever he has no where to go. Oh my god! That’s my case when we stayed so near. At the end, I decided to sell our house! Mayb I m too much but I cld not tolerate anymore. When they learnt that I moved back to my parents’, can you imagine how they feel? HA HA!
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pingathot:
Hi mummies, m new in this thread. Just read some and would like to comment too. My mil also does not boil 'cooling water' for me when she brought just a small bottle just to give to her son. I think mayb cantonese mil does tt. Mine also cantonese. And I don't suggest staying too near too. They'll just pop-in whenever they like. Sometimes Sunday we would like to snuggle on bed but fil will knock on the door at 6 plus early in the morning. I d mentioned to my mil and guess what my fil said \" The sun already out\" what? still early? Sometimes fil will pop in and sit at the living room watching TV without speaking. He'll come anytime any day whenever he has no where to go. Oh my god! That's my case when we stayed so near. At the end, I decided to sell our house! Mayb I m too much but I cld not tolerate anymore. When they learnt that I moved back to my parents', can you imagine how they feel? HA HA!
Hi pingathot, although my PIL also hv a set of our house key but they will not barge in our hse without any permission. Normally they will call us first b4 coming to visit us. Moreover, my MIL will not awake till 10am.
If I am u, I think I will do the same or juz change the house key. They r simply intruding on yr privacy... -
jedamum:
My dd1 has all her stuff at home but nobody plays with her. My time with her in fact was quite limited due to my work commitment. Beside spending time coaching her homework, most of the time, she was alone playing her toys. I am really preoccupied with my dd2 who is now 8 1/2 mth. Every weekend, she will look forward to go to my IL place so tat all the attention will be on her alone. I am okay with this but the only thing tat I am unhappy abt is tat they will intervene whenever we try to reprimand my dd1 if she made a mistake. Instead my MIL will immediately tell my hb off in front of my dd1. Behind his back, she told my dd1 which i overheard tat my hd was insane, no need to bother with his words. Really :mad:
my ds1 used to compare why granny can buy XXX brand(ed) ice-cream often while we cannot. i had to explain the whole concept about the grans having no more financial commitment and we have to save $$ for his education. then very funny, my ds2 when eating those brand(ed) foodstuff will go,'wah...my mother said very expensive leh!' :oops:ectanz:
Mine too. Treated like princess... Will yr kids compare such difference in treatment between hm n IL place? My dd1 does.. She will ask why she has to do everything herself at hm but at granny hse, was being served. She in fact looking forward to go to their hm to stay on every weekend as she is freed fr doing anything.
my ds2 hardly compare. he is happy go lucky type.
my ds1 do compare, but he accept my reasoning.
they look forward to staying over, but most of their fav stuff (doodling, adhoc craft, toys, books) are at home, so they would feel bored unless the grans line up some programe for them.
Now, I hv resigned my current job 3 mth ago to become SAHM, partially due to my dd1. At least I hv more time with her in terms of fetching her to n fro school n is able to schedule some time to play with her when dd2 is napping. -
ectanz:
Hi Ectanz, I do understand how you feel even though my IL's never do that.(I think, as i never \"caught\" them before) My mum is the one who will do that to her DILs and Children. Whenever we tried to reprimand our children, she will side with her grandchildren, scold us openly and behind our back console the kids using inappropriate words! I fully understand she 心疼 her grandchildren but not at the expense of us! How are we going to teach our kids the right values? So my SIL don't like to visit my mum. I don't really blame her.I am okay with this but the only thing tat I am unhappy abt is tat they will intervene whenever we try to reprimand my dd1 if she made a mistake. Instead my MIL will immediately tell my hb off in front of my dd1. Behind his back, she told my dd1 which i overheard tat my hd was insane, no need to bother with his words. Really :mad:
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pingathot:
And I don't suggest staying too near too. They'll just pop-in whenever they like. Sometimes Sunday we would like to snuggle on bed but fil will knock on the door at 6 plus early in the morning. I d mentioned to my mil and guess what my fil said \" The sun already out\" what? still early? Sometimes fil will pop in and sit at the living room watching TV without speaking. He'll come anytime any day whenever he has no where to go. Oh my god! That's my case when we stayed so near. At the end, I decided to sell our house! Mayb I m too much but I cld not tolerate anymore. When they learnt that I moved back to my parents', can you imagine how they feel? HA HA!
OMG :yikes: Go to your place to watch TV ? The TV in your house must have sharper resolution... :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Stay nearby will also have this problem of gate-crashing...much better if staying both ends of Singapore like East and West like my case.
I don't fancy the idea of his mother staying near...she will come uninvited to see what I have in my house...she has done that before and hinted for a set of keys...pretended NOT to hear and told hubby NO WAY.
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