In-law problems?

[just888]

Flowermonaster:

just888:

[quote=\"LOLMum\"]maybe if you stop giving out birthday gifts, they might appear to remind you.


if mil ask why no presents, just say \"oh, never seen them so cant remember how old they are and so didnt get any\".

Think 2 years ago I got the girls some dresses from our vacation trip. The reply came back is the elder one dress is going to be too small liao. My replied then was, I last saw them they small built wat.. grow so fast liao huh? No one tell me what's their built.
Think if on the road, my son and his cousins would never recognize each other. Told my son, he like no cousins but nevermind, my cousins' kid are his cousins too. hehe

Yeah yeah, I support LOLMum's idea! :rahrah:
Never see them so mean not in existence wat. So they r the legendary 神龙? :rotflmao:[/quote]Ya, maybe I can try with the HongPows for the 3 kids this 2012. Never see how to give?!? Usually I will just pass them to my MIL on 1st day of CNY. Now I shall pass it to them later instead this year instead and test if they will appear or not.

[LOLMum]

yes, start with angpow. keep them with you. if mil asks where are the angpows for the kids, just tell her you have not seen them for so long, cant remember how many kids there are so didnt prepare.


p.s. do you kids receive anypow or birthday presents from them?

[just888]

LOLMum:

yes, start with angpow. keep them with you. if mil asks where are the angpows for the kids, just tell her you have not seen them for so long, cant remember how many kids there are so didnt prepare.


p.s. do you kids receive anypow or birthday presents from them?

Usually I gave 1st as her 2 gals birthday falls in Jan and Feb respectively, then they will give my son in May.

I remebered when my son was younger - age 3 then, he is the only grandchild, SIL was very weird, get a multi-storey carpark toy for my son without any cars. Then told me it is very cheap to get the toy cars from ToyRUs.

Then came 1 time, I got a ropper for her elder gal when she was 6mths old from ToyRUs during my shopping. Guess what in Dec (1 mth away from my niece birthday), she told me that the ropper I got for gal was very good and nice. She said she was unable to find it even in toyRUs. I told her I am surprised she can't find it there, as I brought it there. Suggested to to try other outlet. Asked my hubby if she is trying to hint me to get another dress for her gal...maybe I am too sensitive.

[ningning]

LOLMum:

if you really dont want your child to call her gugu, talk to your husband and see if he could go alone for the reunion dinner.


your child can see the grandparents any other time. but what about the first day of cny? you do have to go right?

also this matter is between you and your sil, child shouldnt be caught in between.

i would only stop my child from seeing or acknowledging anyone if they badmouthed me in front of my kid.

I dun intend to turn up for re dinner nor first day cny coz mil had scold me again and again that I am a bad woman and she dun ever want to show concern nor help in anyway to look after my dd. Coz sil is not happy with me that I talked back when she talked rude to me. I was expected to give in to this spoilt princess at all cost coz I am married \"in\" to their family.
As usual mil tot I bully her \"sweet angel\".

Anw mil has never offered to care even \" one minute for my dd\" . So be it. Go or dun go re dinner or First day of cny , I am still the evil bad woman for them and they had nvr lift a finger to help me anything at all. I rather go my mum place and be happy then. Why swallow pride there and be taken like a prey by this pack of wolves. Cny is supposed to be a joyous festive not where I had to come home feeling lousy after visiting them. I had always visited them during cny dutifully coz I regard myself as one of family . These years I realised all these while I self deceive and determined to exclude them in my life.
As for dh I told him if this marriage is to stay this will be the way to stay. He agreed too coz he had witnessed how I was treated all these years. From being called a slut , money graber , hooker , black magic , cheater and mocked at big family gathering that I was childless etc, so much more painful words that I could not mention here. I had enoughs. They felt so superior by just running a small family business.

So my girl, I am sorry that she won't be closed to her grandparent . Anw I believe they won't miss her also as compared to her nephews. They are \" golden grandchild\" to the old folks . This is life. We dun get all the attention and love we desire in life.

[just888]

ningning,


Hugs…How come ur MIL scold u a bad woman? On what ground? Is there any misunderstanding that happen before? Does your hubby knows about it when the incident happens? Sorry for so many questions ask.

[LOLMum]

just888:

LOLMum:

yes, start with angpow. keep them with you. if mil asks where are the angpows for the kids, just tell her you have not seen them for so long, cant remember how many kids there are so didnt prepare.


p.s. do you kids receive anypow or birthday presents from them?

Usually I gave 1st as her 2 gals birthday falls in Jan and Feb respectively, then they will give my son in May.

I remebered when my son was younger - age 3 then, he is the only grandchild, SIL was very weird, get a multi-storey carpark toy for my son without any cars. Then told me it is very cheap to get the toy cars from ToyRUs.

Then came 1 time, I got a ropper for her elder gal when she was 6mths old from ToyRUs during my shopping. Guess what in Dec (1 mth away from my niece birthday), she told me that the ropper I got for gal was very good and nice. She said she was unable to find it even in toyRUs. I told her I am surprised she can't find it there, as I brought it there. Suggested to to try other outlet. Asked my hubby if she is trying to hint me to get another dress for her gal...maybe I am too sensitive.

seems like it is you give, i give. you dont give, i dont give.

:faint:

all the best.

[LOLMum]

ningning:

LOLMum:

if you really dont want your child to call her gugu, talk to your husband and see if he could go alone for the reunion dinner.


your child can see the grandparents any other time. but what about the first day of cny? you do have to go right?

also this matter is between you and your sil, child shouldnt be caught in between.

i would only stop my child from seeing or acknowledging anyone if they badmouthed me in front of my kid.

I dun intend to turn up for re dinner nor first day cny coz mil had scold me again and again that I am a bad woman and she dun ever want to show concern nor help in anyway to look after my dd. Coz sil is not happy with me that I talked back when she talked rude to me. I was expected to give in to this spoilt princess at all cost coz I am married \"in\" to their family.
As usual mil tot I bully her \"sweet angel\".

Anw mil has never offered to care even \" one minute for my dd\" . So be it. Go or dun go re dinner or First day of cny , I am still the evil bad woman for them and they had nvr lift a finger to help me anything at all. I rather go my mum place and be happy then. Why swallow pride there and be taken like a prey by this pack of wolves. Cny is supposed to be a joyous festive not where I had to come home feeling lousy after visiting them.

So my girl, I am sorry that she won't be closed to her grandparent . Anw I believe they won't miss her also as compared to her nephews. They are \" golden grandchild\" to the old folks . This is life. We dun get all the attention and love we desire in life.

do what you deem fit for all. dont let them spoil your mood and life.

but make sure your dh understands the reasons and is on your side.

all the best.

[just888]

LOLmum,


It’s ok, better dun owe ppl. Give and take lar…Even my hubby would ask what to get for her birthday. I would then just shop for her yearly still… already I am counting myself very lucky already. Afterall, her family does not affects my family’s life at all, just that they only makes my in-laws very busy… heheh…

[LOLMum]

just88,


you have the right and positive attitude.

:rahrah:

[garam]

I can fully understand, mil or PIL will feel tat why their devil dil always bully their sweet angel. The sweet angel always buy stuff for everyone when she go holiday including the devil dil. During dinner always help to offer food to everyone. Oh please, cannot stand this type of hypocrite action. She only want everyone to like her, always want to be in the limelight. 1 incident, I show black face & went out with my child, my mil feel heart pain to see her sweet angel being bullied, my mil told my hubby I never show respect to her, my sil can tell my hubby, it not her who want to blow big on this issue. It’s her mum who react like tar. Wat the hell, if she never backstabbing me, her mum will have this reaction. My mil even want to see my parent wanted to tell them I have no manners. Now I realise tat no matter how, u not the daughter, no matter how long u stay with them, they will always treat u as outsider.