In-law problems?

[fifiyeo]

[quote][I dare not flex my muscles, coz unlike yours, mine MIL and SIl they are someone that will resort to violent when they felt that they are losing the upperhand in an arguement. I still remember the umbrella episode. They dun reason, they can yell and shout things that are so unthinkable to me. FIL will also join them too. It like a mad house. Once they quarrel with their neigbour over parking issue, and days later all the fish in the pond die floating and their precious \"money flower\" withered! Tink the neighbour must be so tramatised by that quarrel and lost to the trio. But later decided to get back at them by action not by words, coz they dun reason. [/quote][/quote]


Ningning....same,same.....my ILs also resort to violent like yours when they are \"losing\" in an arguement. Except they think that it is inside the office rooms or inside the house so nobody knows. \"Ostrich\" thinking! The quarrels are so loud, like what you say \"mad house\". How can people not hear???!!! Then after all the insults, they will try to be nice and when you seem fine with them aleady....slowly they will start all the accusations and insults again. Never ending cycle all these years.
In the eyes of people around us, except for close relatives, they think we have to \"best\" ILs / parents. Makes me sick whenever family friends say how \"lucky\" we are!!! Anyway, there are also many relatives who knows about all these dirty laundry and knows that they haven't been fair to us.

SILs (their daughter also no boyfriend) and worships the \"princess\" DIL because ILs told her to do so. Somedays she see me ok and friendly, but \"princess\" DIL and BIL are around...see us like ghosts. She won't talk to us if possible.

Well, that's our sad real-life drama stories!!! Hope things will get better for you one day.

[ningning]

fifiyeo:

[quote][

Ningning....same,same.....my ILs also resort to violent like yours when they are \"losing\" in an arguement. Except they think that it is inside the office rooms or inside the house so nobody knows. \"Ostrich\" thinking! The quarrels are so loud, like what you say \"mad house\". How can people not hear???!!! Then after all the insults, they will try to be nice and when you seem fine with them aleady....slowly they will start all the accusations and insults again. Never ending cycle all these years.
In the eyes of people around us, except for close relatives, they think we have to \"best\" ILs / parents. Makes me sick whenever family friends say how \"lucky\" we are!!! Anyway, there are also many relatives who knows about all these dirty laundry and knows that they haven't been fair to us.

SILs (their daughter also no boyfriend) and worships the \"princess\" DIL because ILs told her to do so. Somedays she see me ok and friendly, but \"princess\" DIL and BIL are around...see us like ghosts. She won't talk to us if possible.

Well, that's our sad real-life drama stories!!! Hope things will get better for you one day.

[/quote]
Yes, i agreed it like a cycle. Mine is like that quarrel=bitching=mad house=cooling period=peace(not more than three mths)=plotting=heat building up=explode again. I tot i am the only one that is with MIL AND SIL SO EVIL! Why arent they tired of these cycles? Why us?

yeh, too free lorr. SIL single after work watch korean drama till mid night, dun have to even wash a cup. PIL so pity her that she is still single and have long given hope that she will be married. They will only love her more each year as shes get older and lonely. She is root of the problem, she even plots together hand in hand with her clerk to create \"false evidence\", FIL will reprimand me infront of worker, she will sit and watch the drama. I was shocked to learn that she is so \"sick\" to this extent! Even their house pet dog was treated with pride than me. I was given no pride in that household.

Lucky, i had my dh encouragement and my own family emotion support. I run a humble trading firm now, i live my own life now. I had regained my pride. I saw no need now to associate with them. I am working very very hard now and hope my business will expand oneday. When i set up my firm then, FIL told my DH to tell me to close it and quarrel !! Very evil of them, even i was out liao from their business, they still dun allow me to earn my own living and wanted to \"depride\" me by making me live off on my DH payroll. Evil!

Now i live more happy though my business is tiny now and live better eachday as I told myself , I will pick up again from where i have badly fallen and nvr forget the days how i was badly insulted to remind myself to do better. i will also raise my DD to be a strong, good nature person unlike that brat!! But I am no saint, what they do to me , i will nvr forgive them.

Dear fifiyeo, Let me give you some :hugs: and thanks.

[fifiyeo]

Congrads Ningning that you are out of the family business and running your own now. Good Luck!


Luckily, I've never had to set foot into their business only DH. It's good to have something of your own. Yes, when I was running our own business, ILs were all set to see us fail. Specifically told me in the face more than once that I had better know what I was doing and settle my own problems! Too bad it had done well enough for me to semi-retire and manage the kids. I guess its my independence that also made them pull their handbrakes whenever they know they have gone too far. Threats don't shake me.

Take things one step at a time. Things will always brigthen up. :please:
Don't be too hard on yourself.

[ningning]

fifiyeo:

Congrads Ningning that you are out of the family business and running your own now. Good Luck!


Luckily, I've never had to set foot into their business only DH. It's good to have something of your own. Yes, when I was running our own business, ILs were all set to see us fail. Specifically told me in the face more than once that I had better know what I was doing and settle my own problems! Too bad it had done well enough for me to semi-retire and manage the kids. I guess its my independence that also made them pull their handbrakes whenever they know they have gone too far. Threats don't shake me.

Take things one step at a time. Things will always brigthen up. :please:
Don't be too hard on yourself.

Thanks fifi, I will. :rahrah:

[singmathstutor]

ningning:

singmathstutor:

Dear Ningning, agree that a family doing a family biz may be complicated. Perhaps, everyone not only wants to meddle things in the office but at home as well. I'm someone with that kind of experience, although not any more. I always tried to shield my wife from all the squabbles and unnecessary attention. But frankly, it's not easy. I can understand your hubby's difficult position.


However, I'm glad to know that your hubby sticks by you and listens to you regarding issues pertaining to that. That to me, it very crucial. :rahrah:

i cried when i read what you had posted. I cried is becoz your words really touch my inner feeling. Its a simple and short reply. But it really summarized how me and my Dh felt all these while.
I am really glad that kiasuparents have this corner for me to let out my grievances and have ppl to understand how i feel. It makes me warm. Thank you all here. :thankyou:

Hi Ningning, I believe this forum is not just about sharing information and resources, but experiences as well, albeit good or bad....
We are all parents, most of the stuff we go through are agar agar similar. Some of us will go through some other similar experiences. So don't worry.....you are not alone...

[singmathstutor]

Please allow me to add on…I’ve also had my share with all the violence in the household…squabbles, hatred, fights, knives, police and so on…Sometimes I think to myself, why are some of these people all this? My answer is that they feel a great sense of insecurity, a lack of self-belief and a need for others to be submissive to them. They don’t know what is real happiness and bliss.

So what’s best for us to do is to shun them (if possible) and be self-independent. We don’t need these people in our lives. We have our own family with a darling spouse and lovely kids. If we don’t stand up ourselves, what’s going to happen to our children?? Do we want them to experience all these?
I always tell my kids, do what they think is right and logical. Do not look for unnecessary trouble. And if they encounter people who give them trouble, just shun them, don’t hate them. They must have their "reasons" for doing those nasty things. Self-imbalance or inferiority or gaining attention or whatever it may be.
It’s nice to hear some "after the storm" enactments…There are always some positives to take-away, even from a terrible ordeal. I’ve had mine…Look at these positives, you will definitely feel better!

[janet88]

There are selfish, self-centered and troublesome in-laws, be it the parents, siblings or their spouses. It’s best to stay arms length from them…bcos they are troublemakers. Don’t allow them to ruin your happiness bcos it is not worth it.

[racoon12]

Din log in to read the posting for few months due to FY closing and audit. How is everyone?

10 more days to CNY, a period where I am longed to disappear to unhabitat island to spend it rather than facing the troublemaker...

[racoon12]

Ning Ning,

Congratulation on your new business... it is good to hear that you are independent on your own rather than working for your IL...

[Kompressor]

My mother in law stays with us and also SLEEPS WITH US IN THE SAME ROOM!


Told my DW I was not too comfortable with her sleeping in the same room however she feels its nothing wrong.

I mean I just dont feel comfortable sleeping with someone else, kids ok, but not MIL rite?

Perhaps any gals out there can tell me how they feel? Its it ok? As in am I being unreasonable?