In-law problems?

[just888]

We went to in-law’s place to 拜年， but without fail every year my MIL insisted they must come over to my place to 拜年 too. I already very busy to going to my parents and uncles’ place, yet i still need to rush back home to meet their visiting time. I thought should be younger ones goes to the elder’s place got the other way round one? To me it is a weird practice, thinking maybe next time I do not go to their place wait for them to come.

[janet88]

just888:

We went to in-law's place to 拜年， but without fail every year my MIL insisted they must come over to my place to 拜年 too. I already very busy to going to my parents and uncles' place, yet i still need to rush back home to meet their visiting time. I thought should be younger ones goes to the elder's place got the other way round one? To me it is a weird practice, thinking maybe next time I do not go to their place wait for them to come.

Since your in laws want to go to your place, then you can save the trouble of going to theirs...really strange, haven't heard of elders visiting their kids instead. This way, you can visit your parents and relatives and come back to wait for empress dowager to drop by later...can discuss with your hubby if it's ok with him.

[Secondcharm]

Deleted

[Secondcharm]

So that is the way they think.


Wow that is really being unfair to be placing all the burden on the first child.

Will you do that to yr first child/son or wld you rather that siblings share the burden?

Are you living with yr parents/yr in-laws or on yr own?

[just888]

janet_lee88:

just888:

We went to in-law's place to 拜年， but without fail every year my MIL insisted they must come over to my place to 拜年 too. I already very busy to going to my parents and uncles' place, yet i still need to rush back home to meet their visiting time. I thought should be younger ones goes to the elder's place got the other way round one? To me it is a weird practice, thinking maybe next time I do not go to their place wait for them to come.

Since your in laws want to go to your place, then you can save the trouble of going to theirs...really strange, haven't heard of elders visiting their kids instead. This way, you can visit your parents and relatives and come back to wait for empress dowager to drop by later...can discuss with your hubby if it's ok with him.

Shared with my hubby last night on this after posting. Told him next year we no need to go visiting lar, just wait for them to come. What's the point of visiting them in the morning and then later in the evening meeting them at my place...weird. He asked me to tell my MIL that next year. Think I would share with her my plan next year to include an allocated time slot for her visiting on 1st day. Since she would usually check with us on our schedule to see when they can visit us during reunion dinner.

Initial few years, I have my SIL's family visiting us too together with my in-law's on the CNY2. I cooked meal for all of them then. I find it weird how come we never get invited to visit their place (SIL's place) to my MIL. From then on my SIL's family is missing from then visiting session. Told my hubby they are here for FREE meal? My SIL is also older than hubby btw.

[just888]

Secondcharm:

So that is the way they think.


Wow that is really being unfair to be placing all the burden on the first child.

Will you do that to yr first child/son or wld you rather that siblings share the burden?

Are you living with yr parents/yr in-laws or on yr own?

My parents also have this concept of sticking together with their sons aka my brothers rather than to shift in and stay with in while they are oversea.

For me, actually I do not mind staying with my in-law's when they are old. But hor, I cannot bring myself to takecare of them personally if they are sick or what, I would seek 3rd party help that's helper in this area. Not sure if my in-laws want to stay with us or not, considering from whole house into a room in my place. Also I got a BIL who is not attach yet, I can take in my in-laws but BIL kinda of too much for my household.

For me when old, I would prefer my son to stay nearby me will do. Not under the same roof as 相见好同住难。The young couple also needs their own breathing space just like I do now. Hahha.. so occasionally stay over it is ok just like a short trip get away. Hopefully we can strike a balance there.

[Secondcharm]

I agree not under the same roof unlike in the olden days.


I mean if you can get along its fine but if you can’t it is just a living hell.

Its so strange that they don’t want to stay on their own? They just cling on for dear life.

Her own daughters who are SAHMs also don’t want her but they sure didn’t mind her looking after their kids. Wat abt DILs?

Won’t want this kind of environment for my kids to live in.

When the mummy is miserable how to make life happy for the family.

[MMM]

just888:

janet_lee88:

[quote=\"just888\"]We went to in-law's place to 拜年， but without fail every year my MIL insisted they must come over to my place to 拜年 too. I already very busy to going to my parents and uncles' place, yet i still need to rush back home to meet their visiting time. I thought should be younger ones goes to the elder's place got the other way round one? To me it is a weird practice, thinking maybe next time I do not go to their place wait for them to come.

Since your in laws want to go to your place, then you can save the trouble of going to theirs...really strange, haven't heard of elders visiting their kids instead. This way, you can visit your parents and relatives and come back to wait for empress dowager to drop by later...can discuss with your hubby if it's ok with him.

Shared with my hubby last night on this after posting. Told him next year we no need to go visiting lar, just wait for them to come. What's the point of visiting them in the morning and then later in the evening meeting them at my place...weird. He asked me to tell my MIL that next year. Think I would share with her my plan next year to include an allocated time slot for her visiting on 1st day. Since she would usually check with us on our schedule to see when they can visit us during reunion dinner.

Initial few years, I have my SIL's family visiting us too together with my in-law's on the CNY2. I cooked meal for all of them then. I find it weird how come we never get invited to visit their place (SIL's place) to my MIL. From then on my SIL's family is missing from then visiting session. Told my hubby they are here for FREE meal? My SIL is also older than hubby btw.[/quote]I've 4 sils and my dh is the only son. We are staying with pils.

Our CNY is pretty much evolved around the family. Eg. Sils will visit us on 1st day. Then after that over the weekends we will have to go to their house. Imagine we did 3 sils from last friday to sunday. 3 consecutive nights. So this weekend, we will be going to the last sil's house. So we practically see each other everyday. For us, it's probably a time to bond and a time for each sil to host the rest. But due to that, I've to reject friends' offer for meet up during CNY. My time is not enough given that kids' enrichment classes schedule are back to normal.

Personally, I thought it's still good to visit your pils. It's more out of respect than anything else.

[DesertWind]

just888:

We went to in-law's place to 拜年， but without fail every year my MIL insisted they must come over to my place to 拜年 too. I already very busy to going to my parents and uncles' place, yet i still need to rush back home to meet their visiting time. I thought should be younger ones goes to the elder's place got the other way round one? To me it is a weird practice, thinking maybe next time I do not go to their place wait for them to come.

Ke...ke...ke...must be because you hardly/never invite them to your house during the year and hence at CNY they take the opportunity to go to your house to look see and kay poh! Or you must have a very nice house?

For me, I use CNY to invite my PIL to my place for lunch and my MIL commented \"Only once a year you invite us!\" but actually they come as and when to see their grandson leh.

[janet88]

DesertWind:

just888:

We went to in-law's place to 拜年， but without fail every year my MIL insisted they must come over to my place to 拜年 too. I already very busy to going to my parents and uncles' place, yet i still need to rush back home to meet their visiting time. I thought should be younger ones goes to the elder's place got the other way round one? To me it is a weird practice, thinking maybe next time I do not go to their place wait for them to come.

Ke...ke...ke...must be because you hardly/never invite them to your house during the year and hence at CNY they take the opportunity to go to your house to look see and kay poh! Or you must have a very nice house?

For me, I use CNY to invite my PIL to my place for lunch and my MIL commented \"Only once a year you invite us!\" but actually they come as and when to see their grandson leh.

Prob they are taking the opportunity to visit you AND see what's new in your house :rotflmao: During reunion, old lady told my eldest BIL to get his maid cook for reunion and next year go there for reunion...SIL and I have agreement that we do not want to start this...so SIL told him NO...just continue to eat out. PERIOD.