In-law problems?

[BeContented]

LOLMum:

Psle? Oh dear, hope your mil's condition is mild n not cause any problems.


Look at it this way, at least your kid has an idea what to expect when people are old. When it is our turn to behave in this manner, at least it won't be a major shock n our kids know how to handle it.

Actually we had already gone thru a very difficult time last 2 year when FIL dementia worsen. I could empathize a little due to his condition. But for MIL, she is perfectly fine.....just being selfish & low EQ. She's had chose to work as an office cleaner but unfortunately, the company folding up so she's be stuck at home soon. That's my fear. :sick:
Whenever she's around, she interferes into my routine & life, nags (screech is more appropriate), repeatedly disrupts my kids when they are studying & insists on interrupting & talking to me over trivial matters when I'm in the midst of discussing/coaching kids. Very frustrating to have her around. :frustrated:

On bad days, I lock them in my room to block her off & let them concentrate. Sometimes she offers them food which they din want ..... she will ignore & ask every few mins, then sit beside them, eat & kept exclaiming its nice, why they dun like. She likes etc. Repeatedly, until even my kids got fedup with her at times.

[LOLMum]

Can ask maid to take her to nearby cc or citizen corner for daily activities?


If can, at least she can be out of your house for a few hours daily.

But on the other hand, she might not want to just like my handicapped sister..

You stay cool...your kids need you especially with psle oral/listening this week.....I got the dates right?

[janet88]

LOLMum:

You stay cool...your kids need you especially with psle oral/listening this week.....I got the dates right?

Yup...PSLE oral this coming Thur/Fri. Prelim listening 2moro for some schools.

Gotta get the old lady out of the house so that kids can have peace studying and you don't get worked up with her at home.
This is a crucial period for the kids. I remembered how grouchy I was in the past few weeks...even hubby told me to take it easy. Had lots of tension headache.

[BeContented]

LOLMum:

Can ask maid to take her to nearby cc or citizen corner for daily activities?


If can, at least she can be out of your house for a few hours daily.

But on the other hand, she might not want to just like my handicapped sister..

You stay cool...your kids need you especially with psle oral/listening this week.....I got the dates right?

No maid.
Last maid was with us only the last 10 mths of FIL life cos' I could not handle him and cannot leave him home alone and he was disruptive in eldercare and they chased him out. MIL rather work than look after FIL also. That maid didn't want to look for another employer and chose to return to Indonesia.

From what I know of MIL, dun think she will want to go cc or citizen corner....rather just lie on bed and watch TV. Anyway, can only take one step at a time. Just hope she won't affect our lives too much.

[BeContented]

janet_lee88:

LOLMum:

You stay cool...your kids need you especially with psle oral/listening this week.....I got the dates right?

Yup...PSLE oral this coming Thur/Fri. Prelim listening 2moro for some schools.

Gotta get the old lady out of the house so that kids can have peace studying and you don't get worked up with her at home.
This is a crucial period for the kids. I remembered how grouchy I was in the past few weeks...even hubby told me to take it easy. Had lots of tension headache.

Think Oral this week still safe.....cos' she probably only start staying home from Sep.....but the PSLE will be xiong. You are right.....I tend to get very very worked up with her at home.....cos' of her screeching. She has super loud voice (quite sharp too)

[janet88]

Can your hubby take a few days leave to bring his mother out of the house? Maybe the week before PSLE written? As for those days of exams, keep kids in your room and switch on air con to let them rest.

[janet88]

Hubby's youngest brother pumps $500 into his mother's account every mth. That amt is for utilities, food and bills. She keeps all the money as though it is all hers. FIL calls hubby all the time asking for money bcos he doesn't want to approach her for money...his face value.

Hubby told his mother to smoke less for health reasons but she told him she rather die than quit smoking. Then his father must drink a bottle of beer everyday...they skimp on food and eat economy rice everyday. So you can imagine how haggard and weak they are. But they don't care. :slapshead:
Lots of problems but nothing can be done.

[newuser]

On bad days, I lock them in my room to block her off & let them concentrate. Sometimes she offers them food which they din want … she will ignore & ask every few mins, then sit beside them, eat & kept exclaiming its nice, why they dun like. She likes etc. Repeatedly, until even my kids got fedup with her at times.[/quote]


This point is very similar with my mil, she loves spicy food. Whenever she cooks spicy food, she will grumble and commented that I am the most stupid woman she even seen as I don’t eat spicy food. In the family, I am the only adult who doesn’t eat spicy food and my kids. My nieces and nephew love spicy food too. She once nagged until I have to go I toilet to stop it. Till date, she is still trying to force us to take spicy stuff. One man’s meat is another man’s poison.

[straffan23]

I have been a silent reader in this post for a couple of weeks… thought all MIL problems has died down… I am the only one with MIL problems… but alas… life is like that… one wave die down, one wave brewing…


Re old folks not closing the door when peeing or sleeping - this is from my past volunteering experience… Apparently at some point, some of them feels insecured - usually following a near accident, or watching it in the TV. E.g. fear that if they slipped and fell in the bathroom, the firefighter would need to come and take the door apart - so they don’t lock it. Make sense? But this is what some actually think.

However, when coupled with appearing naked, that seems to be a bit of alzheimers or dimentia? I don’t think everyone get all the textbook symptoms… so need to watch out for this - maybe the DH can take her out or spend more time with her.

JTS: Sometimes, a person’s behaviour takes a downward spiral because they have lost the will to live on - refusal to eat, dress, and bathe, or in some cases, refusing to do toiletting!! Unfortunately, this happened to my grandma. She wasn’t sick at all - but she couldn’t seem to live on and was set on willing herself to die. My father was so heartbroken when he saw her. She passed on not long after.

[BeContented]

straffan23:

I have been a silent reader in this post for a couple of weeks... thought all MIL problems has died down... I am the only one with MIL problems... but alas.. life is like that... one wave die down, one wave brewing....


Re old folks not closing the door when peeing or sleeping - this is from my past volunteering experience... Apparently at some point, some of them feels insecured - usually following a near accident, or watching it in the TV. E.g. fear that if they slipped and fell in the bathroom, the firefighter would need to come and take the door apart - so they don't lock it. Make sense? But this is what some actually think.

However, when coupled with appearing naked, that seems to be a bit of alzheimers or dimentia? I don't think everyone get all the textbook symptoms... so need to watch out for this - maybe the DH can take her out or spend more time with her.

JTS: Sometimes, a person's behaviour takes a downward spiral because they have lost the will to live on - refusal to eat, dress, and bathe, or in some cases, refusing to do toiletting!! Unfortunately, this happened to my grandma. She wasn't sick at all - but she couldn't seem to live on and was set on willing herself to die. My father was so heartbroken when he saw her. She passed on not long after.

Not locking - ok. But leaving it wide open when the toilet bowl is facing it directly.....aiyoh. MIL's mind still super clear, in fact her memory still better than me :oops: As for stripping naked to change with disregard to us, think she's just being lazy to close .... Just like refusing to wash hands with soap after handling raw food & goes on to touch other stuff. Becos she thinks it's ok. :slapshead:

I know what u mean by dementia. For MIL, she is still too clear-minded right now to fall into that. Previously, FIL was losing his way home occasionally & started taking off his shirts & pants at the main door before he came into house......so I think kinda know how it goes. Just frustrated cos MIL is gonna be a lot more difficult to handle than FIL. :frustrated: