In-law problems?
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One reunion meal…yet time is so tight to accomodate everyone.
My SIL and I had difficulties arranging bcos of our kids having tests and tuition. It was like Sat/Sun morn/evening either my kids had tuition or night her daughter was not back from camp. She postponed daughter’s tuition and we settled the dinner last week…phew.
My mum usually arranges reunion to suit our timing…easier since it’s just my brother and my family. -
3Boys:
She IS the one who gave up (on the TRADITION of reunion on EVE where almost everyone had painstakingly adjusted the maternal families' timing and get used to the routine). Anyway she is NOT the one making the arrangement, my DH and another SIL were, and she WAS only making requests after requests. For the past few years, 3 families have to make sacrifices for 1 BIL's reunion with his FIL.
Everyone faces this same problem of competing time for reunion dinners. A bit of give and take and generosity of spirit wouldn't hurt. Put yourself in her shoes, she IS trying to pull things together, juggling competing needs. It's not easy, would you prefer she just gave up?popireis:
Haiz, \"arranging\" for the dinner already caused much stress and discontent. In the past, MIL refused to compromise even when we have valid reasons. Thus, none of the DILs ever can go back to Mothers' place for dinner on eve. These few years, one of the younger BIL came up with an ingenious method to appease his PIL (wife's parents) by bringing BOTH his parents (my PIL) and his PIL (wife's parents) for dinner at expensive restaurants every CNY eve.
Now, becos have expensive dinner, she will slot her own family's reunion with her other sons at watever time slots she preferred. 3 sub-families have to accomodate to one BIL & wife.
This year, she suggested all the dates which we cannot (either other commitments or working). Ding dong ding dong, she even suggested weekday lunch (where everyone is working -_-\"). Finally settled on one of the weekday evening for dinner, but its gonna be super rushed for everyone (working or studying).
Wun be surprised after that will hear her complain that no one help her blah blah blah. But we all working, can't expect us to take leave jus for \"reunion\" dinner when she is the one that \"reserved\" the eve for own selfish reasons...
Yes I agree abit of give and take should be exercised. In this case, 3 families always have to give in to 1 BIL, the 1 BIL has never consider the other families' difficulties... isn't that generous enough? I, for one, would really appreciate if for 1 year, just 1 year, the BIL can be generous enough to accomodate the other 3 families' timing...
It can be difficult for a third party to understand the feelings of the actual party concerned. It's always easy to dish out advices and lectures when you are not in their shoes. Not everyone is blessed with understanding families...
Well, anyway, like I previously said, no harm is meant in a little bit of lamenting. It actually help for us to lament, forgive, forget, and move on. Rather than to harbour the ill feelings for years to come
I know and appreciate your good intentions, and we all still have alot to learn and practice along the way
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popireis:
True, it's hard for an outsider to have the real picture, but then your post wasn't entirely clear.
Yes I agree abit of give and take should be exercised. In this case, 3 families always have to give in to 1 BIL, the 1 BIL has never consider the other families' difficulties... isn't that generous enough? I, for one, would really appreciate if for 1 year, just 1 year, the BIL can be generous enough to accomodate the other 3 families' timing...
It can be difficult for a third party to understand the feelings of the actual party concerned. It's always easy to dish out advices and lectures when you are not in their shoes. Not everyone is blessed with understanding families...
Well, anyway, like I previously said, no harm is meant in a little bit of lamenting. It actually help for us to lament, forgive, forget, and move on. Rather than to harbour the ill feelings for years to come
I know and appreciate your good intentions, and we all still have alot to learn and practice along the way
Yeah, I have a bit of a problem with this entire thread actually, but it's because I'm a guy I guess........I find it all a bit of a storm in a teacup.
My MIL and my mum have switched routines around numerous times over the years, enough to make my head spin. My DW and I would grumble to each other a bit, make the adjustments...... and then show up with the kids all smiles and happy and festive. My DW is a real gem in this regard, minimal complaining despite some curve balls thrown her way.
It's CNY.....tuition, enrichment, work, not really supposed to get in the way..... -
3Boys:
Nah, no worries, no post is meant to be as clear as crystal since it's not a 3 or 30 page essay lol... understand where you are coming from, yes it may seem to be a storm in a teacup from a third party point of view cos we are not the parties concerned. It also depends on the existing relationship between the MIL & DIL and the severity of the \"incidents\", which may have already been played down in the posts.True, it's hard for an outsider to have the real picture, but then your post wasn't entirely clear.
Yeah, I have a bit of a problem with this entire thread actually, but it's because I'm a guy I guess........I find it all a bit of a storm in a teacup.
My MIL and my mum have switched routines around numerous times over the years, enough to make my head spin. My DW and I would grumble to each other a bit, make the adjustments...... and then show up with the kids all smiles and happy and festive. My DW is a real gem in this regard, minimal complaining despite some curve balls thrown her way.
It's CNY.....tuition, enrichment, work, not really supposed to get in the way.....
I, hwr, view it slightly differently. They just seem to me as some simple grumbles and grouses which will passé. Dun have to take it too hard. -
After we were done with reunion dinner...next question SIL asked me was 'what to eat on first day of CNY'. It will either be pizza or KFC
Hubby doesn't eat anymore vegetarian on 1st day of CNY...since his mother refuses to cook. So I teased him...how about an abalone with instant noodles as breakfast :evil: -
How about ordering vegetarian pizza? or other vegetarian orders (not sure if any vegetarian F&B open that day or not lol). Maybe can check VeganBurg? http://www.veganburg.com/main/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/menu-web.pdf
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popireis:
How about ordering vegetarian pizza? or other vegetarian orders (not sure if any vegetarian F&B open that day or not lol). Maybe can check VeganBurg? http://www.veganburg.com/main/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/menu-web.pdf
Thanks for the link Popireis.
Those people are not true 除一十五 type.
Prob order KFC since they can do delivery...first day of CNY, we usually wake up late after watching late night tv program. I will be very relieved after the drama-ing there....or maybe i will bring iPad to play games. -
Order KFC...you eat chicken, he eats coleslaw and mashed potato!
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Nebbermind:
Order KFC...you eat chicken, he eats coleslaw and mashed potato!
That's a wonderful idea !!!
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janet_lee88:
Now no more KFC & Pizza Hut 2-in-1? I thought they belongs to same company or somethingpopireis:
How about ordering vegetarian pizza? or other vegetarian orders (not sure if any vegetarian F&B open that day or not lol). Maybe can check VeganBurg? http://www.veganburg.com/main/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/menu-web.pdf
Thanks for the link Popireis.
Those people are not true 除一十五 type.
Prob order KFC since they can do delivery...first day of CNY, we usually wake up late after watching late night tv program. I will be very relieved after the drama-ing there....or maybe i will bring iPad to play games.
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