In-law problems?

[2ppaamm]

cmm:

\"What God has joined together, let no man put asunder....\"

How true, but some MIL are like that
:siao: My aunt was like that, too, always looking out for another person for my cousin when the kids were young. For some reason, she changed one day and became ok with her DIL (as in she no longer hates her DIL). Don't know what changed that, though. She has since passed on, and the kids are in their 20s already.

[rocklee]

Hi buds


I’m with you. Hope your girls are not "traumatised" by this drama. For this coming year of the tiger, I hope you can "roar" like a tiger and take charge of what you want. Take care!

[tree nymph]

buds,

dear, so sorry for you to have gone through the terrible ordeal! i was crying when i read it. i think your MIL tops mine! at least mine is not happy with me, she won't intentionally breakup our marrige. Even though my kids are not her favourite, she still will play with them and i think love them too. Yours!!!??? :x :x :x

i think you should also plan to move. cannot cannot, repeat, cannot stay there anymore. there are 4 of you, plan and move to a 2 bedroom. though it maybe small, the peace will be worth it. save the gals too!

CNY is here soon, I wish you the very best for this year and hope that you will also find a place and find the happiness which is very long overdue to you! :hugs: :hugs:

[buds]

The ordeal in my marriage i find was more than i could take.. but i

suppose HE knew me better. Through the adversities i soldiered
to rise and garner even more strength, to see through the times going
forward... even stronger than ever. I have taken almost a year to heal
from my worst tsunami.

It was never my intention to bad mouth my ILs esp my MIL here. I am
one stressed out wife, mum and DIL... only God knows how i have
ranked in his challenges. This thread was initially my space of solace..
knowing i'm not alone in my hurdles. That there are ppl out there who
did understand what i was going through... even though hubs didn't...

MIL is but only one part of my complicated life but i have tailored it more
simply, more tapered and more straightfwd to make life more positive so
that these past 10 years, i could be as sane as i cud be and retain as
much happiness as i can in my own ways.

My love for hubs grew on me over the years despite him not being my
1st choice for a husband, despite the troubles and misunderstandings
with MIL, FIL and BIL... I began to slowly see the side of hubs that i cud
not see when we first started out... that he is the thoughtful and loving
husband... a strict yet caring father... a filial and most responsible son
and son in law... a great friend in need and a great friend in(bed)deed.. :evil:

:rotflmao: I going :siao: liao this time of the day.. not a day person as
most of you know. Owls are supposed to be sleeping now.. :politebleah:

I do feel it in my gut that through my obstacles in life.. there is a reason
behind everything. I may have been bad in my life and i may be punished
now in real time rather than in after-expiry time. :lol: I do try to feel that
this journey i vowed to undertake with God as my witness amongst the
many guests then, i have went head on and faced the world as it came
to me.. prepared or otherwise.. there is no ideal life, no ideal job, no ideal
MIL... no ideal anything. Idealism is how we want things to be. How we
accept things to make it ideal for us and our lives and its tricky situations.
Of course if we cud get what was ideal in the first place, we wud be the
few who managed to have the cake and got to eat it too.

In the turbulences i have encountered thus far, i did try to work towards
what i thought was the ideal life. I cannot say i have failed cos i didn't
achieve in living the idealistic world i pre-maturely envisioned... i dare say
i have excelled in achieving what many i have adapted or improvised from
the ideals that i was working towards. Not giving up on my ideals entirely
pe se.. but second best is not too bad for me.

What's important is that i choose to be happy regardless of whether i did
fair, good or excellent. Fighting for my happiness (my love and my
marriage)... being surrounded by happiness (my girls) and sharing my
happiness with others (all you good people out there)... is ideal to me.
For it is this small part of happiness that i seek and do have somewhat,
no matter how little or how much... is exactly what's ideal to keep me
going on for as long as i can.

Thanks all for all your prayers regardless in which faith each of you
believe in.. i humbly accept them all. I truly appreciate this invisible
friendship we have here.

I'm deeply gratified and your prayers are really all i need right now.
I cannot thank you enough. All of you. You know who you are... :hugs:

Tiger? Naaah.. i'm more the Dragon.

:celebrate:

[foreverj]

hi buds


my heart goes out to u dear. think your family drama more incredible :!: than the \"niang jia\" show on TV now. although i dun watch the show but i figured wont be much different from yours. stay strong for your daughters :love:

just met up with a fren last night n advised her not to invite the in-laws to stay with them. their situation is also quite complicated cos her dh has a son in earlier marriage n he's taken care by his parents who r living in a different country. becos sometimes u never know how things will transpire when u start living together. better to live apart, see each other once in a while and appreciate one another more.

i told her if she needed any reminder/motivation just check out this thread in the KSP forum.

[autumnbronze]

buds:

Hubs turned red in the face.. I sat kneeled behind the door with my girls
in fright at the drama unfolding.. I cried at MILs attempt to bring the
house down with her insistence and definitely conniving plans.. I just
couldn't stop crying.

Once hubs closed the door to our room, he just leaned on the wall at
the back of the door. His eyes red with anger... and tears flowed down
his cheeks... his back slowly slided downwards and as he sat with his
knees propped up, i noticed he was shivering. He said, \"I've never felt
this angry and sad at the same time in a long time...\" And he just cried
there and then...

buds,
Reading this, my heart goes out to you and esp your sweet and adorable gals. They shdn't be subjected to this by your MIL... I really really hope that buds_hubs will realize that.

buds:

And to this day, i'm praying we'd get out of this rut. Like treenymph said,
for the sake of our dignity, sanity and happiness... we need to get our
own place no matter how big... no matter how small... as long as we are
all together.If he still wants us that is...

All the best buds, things will ALWAYS have a way of working out ... somehow ... :celebrate: :celebrate: :hugs: :hugs:

[buds]

foreverj:

hi buds


my heart goes out to u dear. think your family drama more incredible :!: than the \"niang jia\" show on TV now. although i dun watch the show but i figured wont be much different from yours. stay strong for your daughters :love:

You've always been around for me foreverj... and you know i WILL definitely
hafta stay strong for them and for my own sanity. Drama? It's like the
freakin' never-ending Days Of Our Lives if ya noe what i mean. :faint:

:rotflmao:

foreverj:

i told her if she needed any reminder/motivation just check out this thread in the KSP forum.

Ahlamak.. :shock: I'm sure you needn't frighten her leh. :lol: Not everyone
is as Empress Dowager-ing as the few MILs some of us here have. So the
rare gems are what they are... ahaks... :lol: ... RARE. And for those who
have, you dunno how lucky you are.. For those who live on your own,
albeit a small house... you shud know how lucky you are... For those who
have supportive husbands/wives who can maintain diplomatic relations
with the govt (MIL/ILs in general) without the need to be autocratic and
rude and yet manage to love your spouses equally.. i kow-tow to you... u
dunno how blessed you are.

For the God who always sees, hears, listens and understands... i hope
U have seen... heard... listened and hereby understood how we feel in
our hearts. Help me and others in this similar journey... give us inner
peace... inner strength to face your challenges how you've deemed us
strong enough to see through.

To other DILs in similar battles (cheh... like leading army lidat.. :P) :lol:...
never succumb to accede defeat. Rise up strong... rise up proud. Let's do
this together. Encourage one another to be the respectful DILs that we
can be... so that we nurture good in the children who see... so that we
keep our spouses off the nitty-gritties... so that we are not perceived as
the dumbos that some think we are... so that whatever happens, was
never and cannot ever be our doing. Do good and good things will come
to you. God willing.. no matter how near no matter how far. The good is
out there. So all DILs.. be good now.

[peapot]

Buds, so sorry to hear this. Its very sad but am glad you are the "dragon". I don’t have any in-laws because they passed away years back, so I always thought it would be good to have them around to help mind the kids. After reading this thread I guess I m in a way "lucky". What are the chances of getting great, understanding and considerate inlaws??!! Do you still live with them now? Maybe you should get your own place? How do you eat reunion dinner with them?? Especially your MIL?? I don’t think you can eat in peace.

[buds]

autumnbronze:

....... will realize that.

He has.

autumnbronze:

All the best buds, things will ALWAYS have a way of working out ... somehow ... :celebrate: :celebrate: :hugs: :hugs:

Yeah.. somehow.. :hugs:

I know it will.

Wait for my good news.

[buds]

Alamak peapot.. you need to catch up on back posts to fully get the

picture cos think you missed out a lotta juice, girl. Thanks, some things
are currently put forth into motion and i'm feeling optimistic i CAN turn my
twisted life around. Hehee.. The roller coaster rides have been fun but i
think what i need now is a joyride more than coaster rides. Hubs has
been a doll (very nice) of late. So, pray for me too? :xedfingers: