In-law problems?

[autumnbronze]

buds:

:!: I dun wanna end up being anything except remaining a proper noun. :lol:


\"ong\" means prosperity wat?

Correct mah? :idea:

Ahhh yes, I was thinking along in the line of reds .....

Thanks for clarifying ..

[minnie2004]

Wow I have 5 pages to catch up to after only away on holiday for 4 days! Hope you all had a good reunion dinner! Ours was an IL-free one at \"Red Piano\", Angelina Jolie's favorite restaurant in Siem Reap (Angkor Wat).


Wish you all a happy year of the tiger! Let's be as strong as a tigress to fight the evil monster-ILs! Gong xi fa cai! Kung Key fat choy! :celebrate:

[angela]

Sometimes, I thought back. My ILs have been staying with us since we got married. Everything was fine at that time, I still will find time to chat with my MIL. When my friends asked me how was it liked staying with ILs, I always said \"fine, good!\"


But now, after I had my 1st daughter and now expecting another daughter who will be due at the end of April'2010, everything seems like changing alot. I have more conflicts with my MILs.

I think mostly is the way of looking after my daughter is totally different. And also she wants to have a grandson but I only have daughters.

Now, she treats my brother-in-law's wife better than me as she is trying to conceive. Maybe she just hopes that this daughter-in-law will give her a grandson.

Sometimes, I dun understand why must be grandson, not granddaughter. Both are your grandchildren. Why must be like that?

Like that time I was expecting my 1st daughter, my daughter was very naughty, always dun let the doctor know the gender. My MIL will make the effort to brew some herbal soup for me and once she knew that was a girl, she looked disappointed but she still continued brewed the soup for me. She hoped that the next one we will give her a grandson. But this time, my 2nd daughter let the doctor know the gender, she knew it and totally didn't care about her, never brew anything for her. Sometimes, I feel very sorry to my baby. Before coming to this world, have received this kind of treatment. My 1st daughter is a very active and happy child but I dunno whether my second one can feel that no one cares about her and will it affect her personalities. Even I am hungry or sick, I have to look after myself unless I am at my mum's place.

Look like I have many complaints when expecting my second child.

[autumnbronze]

angela:

And also she wants to have a grandson but I only have daughters.

angela:

Sometimes, I dun understand why must be grandson, not granddaughter. Both are your grandchildren. Why must be like that?

Hi angela,

My personal theory is that MIL will always be a MIL. You cannot expect them to take the place of your mom. Of course I do believe there are the exceptional few, but you prob can count them, if you know what I mean.

I know these can be trying times, but you MUST be positive for your DD2 sake. How your DD2 turns out will be determined by you and of course your DH.

I'm sorry that your MIL is so traditional that she cannot grasp the fact that the sex of the baby is determined by the father of the baby so to speak.

How does your DH react to this?? Is he being a pillar of support to you??

Take care of yourself okie .... :hugs:

[angela]

autumnbronze:

angela:

And also she wants to have a grandson but I only have daughters.

angela:

Sometimes, I dun understand why must be grandson, not granddaughter. Both are your grandchildren. Why must be like that?

Hi angela,

My personal theory is that MIL will always be a MIL. You cannot expect them to take the place of your mom. Of course I do believe there are the exceptional few, but you prob can count them, if you know what I mean.

I know these can be trying times, but you MUST be positive for your DD2 sake. How your DD2 turns out will be determined by you and of course your DH.

I'm sorry that your MIL is so traditional that she cannot grasp the fact that the sex of the baby is determined by the father of the baby so to speak.

How does your DH react to this?? Is he being a pillar of support to you??

Take care of yourself okie .... :hugs:

My DH is a filial son and he does not realise that his mother prefers grandson to granddaughter. He will try not to annoy his mother and will try to please her whatever she wants. He always wants me to give in to his mother. Actually, I always remain silent when I have some conflicts with my MIL. Mostly, my friends and my mum told me to voice out my unhappiness to her. I just dun want to make my DH difficult. But you know, the more you bottle up, one day you will explode. The only way I can do is just complain to my friends or my mum.

Last time, my MIL was working but now, she retired, so I dunno what she will do as she is very free. My daughter is taken care by my mother. Maybe she is too free that she will find fault on me.

[ooptimizer]

autumnbronze:

angela:

And also she wants to have a grandson but I only have daughters.

angela:

Sometimes, I dun understand why must be grandson, not granddaughter. Both are your grandchildren. Why must be like that?

Sometimes it is hard to change the mindset of these people.

[2ppaamm]

Wow, this is a great CNY for me. I had no IL problem. In fact, I felt that all these days of suffering in silence paid off. To my big surprise, my MIL’s favourite DIL is now expecting and she shared with me that she saw what happened to me and didn’t want the same to happen to herself, so she is keeping her distance from MIL. And all these years, I thought no one knew.


That, to me, is the best revenge. I could not and would never talk back, but someone saw everything and knew that I was suffering. My most difficult moments have passed, things have settled down for me over these 2 decades. For those who are still suffering, hang on in there, your day will come when you feel that you did not suffer in vain.

Work on your kids, and when your kids outshine everyone else in one way or another, they will be sorry how they have mistreated you. I remember those days when my ILs thought that i was such a useless mom. Today, even my MIL told my mom that I taught my kids well. Guys, your day will come. Hang on tight! It took me 2 decades and 5 kids. Your journey will likely be less than half of mine.

[smurf]

Hi 2ppaamm,


:goodpost:

[auntieM]

:celebrate: This year was much more bearable, guess got to do with mindset more relax liao


My supposedly ill FIL got a little tipsy, to the dismay of my butterfly MIL....
He went around with cigarette in mouth and started kissing and hugging the little ones :shock: .....Heng DH saw that and scolded him. My boy was 'smart', he run to me at bullet speed and 'hide' :rotflmao:

[2ppaamm]

smurf:

Hi 2ppaamm,


:goodpost:

:thankyou: