2012 PSLE Discussions and Strategy

[concerned_of_PSLE 10]

My mum was like, see!you also cannot get into some sec sch.i feel really bad about it,she says she hav no confidence at all.she don have, i have even lesser

[mummy so kiasu]

fifiyeo:

I'm so out of juice that I'm still in no mood nor have the energy to go full swing into revision with my no.2 and SA2 is in a week's time. Sigh...am I the only one feeling like that?


By the way, has everyone gotten that grey coloured secondary school posting book? (Sorry I don't know what's the exact name for it)

It is the secondary schools selection booklet. Some of them received them as early as lat Thursday & my boy got it 3 days ago.

[Chenonceau]

concerned_of_PSLE 10:

My mum was like, see!you also cannot get into some sec sch.i feel really bad about it,she says she hav no confidence at all.she don have, i have even lesser

I am sad that your Mom says such things to you. It is important that you tell yourself that you are worth a whole lot than what others say. Ideally, parents should not put their kids down. Sometimes, a parent's confidence and belief is all that keeps a child's head above the water.

You must NEVER believe anyone who tells you that you are of little worth.

NEVER.

The worst that can happen (and I don't think it will) is that you do poorly at the PSLE... and go somewhere other than the top 30 schools. It STILL doesn't matter my dear... my carpenter has education only up to Sec 2... went to VITB... learnt carpentry. Today, he employs a team of workers... owns a workshop last valued at $9 million, drives a huge car, is married to a simple lady who loved him since he was nothing at all and loves him still. His children are filial AND he loves his job.

Not every child has parents who are loving, encouraging and supportive. If you have little emotional support from your Mom, then you must find the strength within you. Now you may not do well but in future, when you are grown... and are stronger... and have matured ... and have more personal resources than you have now, you will succeed.

You must believe it, then it will happen. Don't grow up into one of those who require constant affirmation and likes to put people down. Grow up into one who GIVES affirmation and who will build people UP. For that, you must NOW learn to be strong and not let yourself be bedeviled by negative thoughts.

[mummy so kiasu]

concerned_of_PSLE 10:

My mum was like, see!you also cannot get into some sec sch.i feel really bad about it,she says she hav no confidence at all.she don have, i have even lesser

Oh dear! Results are not out yet, so give yourself a break. As long you had done your best, then you don't have to feel bad. The results might be better than what you & your mum expected.

[linden2000]

concerned_of_PSLE 10:

My mum was like, see!you also cannot get into some sec sch.i feel really bad about it,she says she hav no confidence at all.she don have, i have even lesser

Things may not be as bad as you think since the results are not out yet. Even when many people have the same answers does not automatically mean that answer is correct. There is also the bell curve, the cohort strength, many unknown variables. Who knows what your t-score will be like?

So you need to pick yourself up. Perhaps doing something towards your S1 posting will help you feel better. For instance, some parents on this forum have suggested selecting a possible range and selecting 2-3 schools for each range interval. Use this waiting period to find out more about these schools.

Like other parents here have mentioned, it's still a long journey ahead. Even if touch wood you don't go into one particular school that you wanted, you would still have future chances to do well. Most importantly, maintain a positive attitude and keep trying hard no matter which sec school you go.

[rains]

concerned_of_PSLE 10:

My mum was like, see!you also cannot get into some sec sch.i feel really bad about it,she says she hav no confidence at all.she don have, i have even lesser

Don't be discouraged. Some parents do not have the knack to encourage, or they just express their negative opinion more vocally. My parents were like that when we were young. The only things my mother told us were \"you are just not cut out for studying. You won't make it no matter how hard you study. You won't make it one lah.\" It was of little wonder most of my siblings and I almost always just scraped through each exam. I'm not sure why our mother said those things instead of encouraging us and believing in us, but I'm sure it wasn't because she didn't love us. She just didn't know that her words could hurt our self-esteem and self-belief. It took my own motherhood to make me realize that my mother did love us, and that happened only in my mid twenties. Don't blame your mother for not knowing how to speak encouraging words. She just doesn't know how to hide her fear of being disappointed. She loves you, but she is terribly afraid of disappointments. I know because sometimes I'm like that too!

Remember, no matter what your mother says, psle is but one of the phases in life. The next phase is the O levels which is much more important than psle.

[mummy so kiasu]

:goodpost:

rains:

concerned_of_PSLE 10:

My mum was like, see!you also cannot get into some sec sch.i feel really bad about it,she says she hav no confidence at all.she don have, i have even lesser

Don't be discouraged. Some parents do not have the knack to encourage, or they just express their negative opinion more vocally. My parents were like that when we were young. The only things my mother told us were \"you are just not cut out for studying. You won't make it no matter how hard you study. You won't make it one lah.\" It was of little wonder most of my siblings and I almost always just scraped through each exam. I'm not sure why our mother said those things instead of encouraging us and believing in us, but I'm sure it wasn't because she didn't love us. She just didn't know that her words could hurt our self-esteem and self-belief. It took my own motherhood to make me realize that my mother did love us, and that happened only in my mid twenties. Don't blame your mother for not knowing how to speak encouraging words. She just doesn't know how to hide her fear of being disappointed. She loves you, but she is terribly afraid of disappointments. I know because sometimes I'm like that too!

Remember, no matter what your mother says, psle is but one of the phases in life. The next phase is the O levels which is much more important than psle.

[mommylow]

concerned_of_PSLE 10:

My mum was like, see!you also cannot get into some sec sch.i feel really bad about it,she says she hav no confidence at all.she don have, i have even lesser

Did your Mum say that after looking through the booklet on secondary school selection and COP range? I'm curious to know what schools she is looking at and wants you to go to. If she has schools with higher COP in mind, naturally you will feel stressed that you may not meet her expectations.

The sad thing about some parents is that they set very unrealistic goals for their DCs without understanding their actual standard and capability. They expect their DCs to perform and deliver like others. It never occurs to them that it is a daunting task trying to attain something that is quite beyond your reach. The DCs are the ones getting stressed, anxious and then hurt and devastated when they cannot deliver and thus unable to live up to their parents' expectations. The DCs feel that they have let their parents down especially after they had spent a bomb on tuition fees for them or invested a lot of time in coaching them in their studies.

Parents should understand that if their DCs have done their best in their studies, then whatever outcome is still well represented. We should praise the effort, not the result. Unfortunately, most people tend to be too result-oriented. To them, great effort means great rewards. In life, not all things happen the way we want them.

At this point if time, do not bring on unnecessary negative thoughts to yourself since nothing is confirmed. What for torture yourself earlier than the announced date? You should be letting your hair down and having a whale of a time doing the things that you have always wanted to do, definitely not brooding over something that is beyond your control. Even if your score is not ideal, it is still the fruit of your labour and it is cause for celebration. Valuable lessons are learnt from mistakes we make. We learn resilience. People whose lives go according to plan especially when they put in much hard work will tend to think that the world will reward them according to their effort. They will get frustrated in real life outside school as things don't work that way. Learn to take failure with courage and move on. The fear of failure to meet one's goals is crippling. I feel that Singaporean children need to learn that unhapiness and attaining a goal need not be mutually exclusive. Remember, happiness is not confined to those at the top. Having the right values and attitude to life is important, else you will not be happy regardless of the trophies and milestones you have won and crossed.

Hopefully parents learn to balance with what is good enough for our DCs to feel good about themselves. Parents, never stop believing in our children. We love our children, so we will do things to them that make sense.

[janet88]

Hi concerned_of_psle,

Don’t think too far nor feel upset…I am sure your mum is equally worried. It’s just that she doesn’t know how to conceal her fear. As long you have put in effort and worked hard for it, don’t think too much.
Some parents may not know how to encourage positively. Cheer up ok?

[concerned_of_PSLE 10]

Jus praying hard my mum will not give me the \"I am disappointed with you.\"look when i received my results.but she WILL give me tat hopeless look

:sad:
SIGH
My frens all going out,i am not in the mood of doing tat, except like buying supplies