Club SAHM

[Angelight]

Hi Sleepy, suggest you read a book \"The 5 Love Languages\" by Gary Chapman, which spells out the different love languages that make men and women tick. Maybe your hubby's love languages are not \"words of affirmation\" and \"physical touch\" but \"acts of service\" and others. For a quick look at the other love languages b4 you get the book, you may read my blog article \"What is your love language?\" http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/what-your-love-language

to find out more.

Anyway, don't be discouraged cos my DH also not the romantic or new-age sensitive type. He is also a man of few words and even jokingly admits he has 'verbal constipation'. :imconstipated:

I don't think you need to seek a counsellor, but maybe the two of you can read the book by Gary Chapman and try to initiate more open communication, which is key in any marriage or relationship. :hugs:

sleepy:

I wish my dh can be more affectionate. Most of the times, he doesn't initiate contact, such as having the initiative to hold my hands when we go out, give a peck on my cheek or touch my hair sometimes or compliment me when I wore a new dress. Been communicating about this issue for many years. However, dh simply doesn't take me seriously. He is happy with our marriage since he's receiving lots of attention. He doesn't see his lack of affection as a problem at all. But I don't like to feel like a piece of furniture. Affection has to be both ways & not one direction.

Although I'm not anywhere near breaking point but I sure hope we won't ever need go down that path :shock: I suggested to dh perhaps we should see a marriage counselor but he thinks I 小题大做. No way to get through to him :frustrated:

[BeContented]

buds:

Heyya cwc... for now just :snuggles: first.

Am gonna pen down some thoughts for you
when I have more time. Hang in there woman!
Your man and your family needs you.. You are
currently still the backbone of the household so
take care if yourself ya? :hugs:

Thanks.....and take your time, you are also a busy woman...got bb somemore.
Me actually cool down liao....ha ha.
Without FIL around last 2 days (well, hospitalised again, he was discharged barely a week ago) and less yelling from MIL and less contact, I'm Ok again.
Well, that's me.....basically, need space and cannot get poke continuously
Guess it's a cycle, up down up down.....

[MummyThreeStreams]

Yikes! DH is super affectionate! In fact, so are my three sons! So at the end of the day I feel so smothered by their hugs and kisses etc., I just want to be left alone without any touching and kissing just for a bit…anyone els feels like i do? I know DH sometimes feels a bit disappointed that I’m not as affectionate as before…but he understands. we still spend lots of time talking etc. and we make sure we go for date nights where we will hold hands like in the good ol’ days!

[Angelight]

You're one lucky woman, mummy3streams! cherish your hubby.

MummyThreeStreams:

Yikes! DH is super affectionate! In fact, so are my three sons! So at the end of the day I feel so smothered by their hugs and kisses etc., I just want to be left alone without any touching and kissing just for a bit...anyone els feels like i do? I know DH sometimes feels a bit disappointed that I'm not as affectionate as before...but he understands. we still spend lots of time talking etc. and we make sure we go for date nights where we will hold hands like in the good ol' days!

[BeContented]

Angelight:

You're one lucky woman, mummy3streams! cherish your hubby.

MummyThreeStreams:

Yikes! DH is super affectionate! In fact, so are my three sons! So at the end of the day I feel so smothered by their hugs and kisses etc., I just want to be left alone without any touching and kissing just for a bit...anyone els feels like i do? I know DH sometimes feels a bit disappointed that I'm not as affectionate as before...but he understands. we still spend lots of time talking etc. and we make sure we go for date nights where we will hold hands like in the good ol' days!

Ha ha....yes, you are lucky.
But I also see why you yikes My DS is affectionate, very unlike DH. Since young, he would just cuddle up, smother me with hugs and kisses.....sometimes I also cannot tahan cos' I'm not that affectionate DH got a lot to learn from the son yeah?!?!

[sleepy]

terry:

hi sleepy,

is ur hb like that since courtship days?

woman will always want mre attention esp after having kids, we want assurance frm our man that they still find out attractive and desirable..not juz the mother to our children.

True, that's exactly how I feel.

During courtship, he was super affectionate and even wrote me mushy love letters & emails. A stark contrast from courtship days.

I guess what I want to see is him making some attempt to 哄哄我, but he doesn't even give it any thoughts. I even offer him suggestions like send me a mushy sms a day. Yes he did, for 5 days, & after that 不了了之. I've to send reminder sms but that defeats the purpose.

Sigh... so many such incidents

[sleepy]

Angelight:

Hi Sleepy, suggest you read a book \"The 5 Love Languages\" by Gary Chapman, which spells out the different love languages that make men and women tick.

Thanks, read that book. That's why dh is happy with our marriage with all his love languages met.

However, I'm always the one who initiate le. If he doesn't hold my hands, I will hold his. If he doesn't peck on my cheek, I will on his. I guess I'm an affectionate person so it's easy for me. I even sweet talk him!

But affection has to be two ways & not one direction. He simply happily receives all the attention without making any effort to reciprocate or tries to 哄哄我 too.

Okay, I'm going to force him to read Gary's book :evil:

[sleepy]

cwc:

Angelight:

You're one lucky woman, mummy3streams! cherish your hubby.

[quote=\"MummyThreeStreams\"]Yikes! DH is super affectionate! In fact, so are my three sons! So at the end of the day I feel so smothered by their hugs and kisses etc.

Ha ha....yes, you are lucky.
But I also see why you yikes My DS is affectionate, very unlike DH. Since young, he would just cuddle up, smother me with hugs and kisses.....[/quote]
You ladies are so lucky!
Envious :please:

[BeContented]

sleepy:

You ladies are so lucky!
Envious :please:

no lah, all of us lucky in different ways. Your hubby do housework wor....
Grass always look greener elsewhere Give & take, have some dun have some, everybody can be happy & contented. Want everything, then no choice .....Forever will envy others

[mummy of 2]

sleepy:

Just wondering are you ladies 100% happy with your marriage?

Any area you hope to improve on or rectify?

I was quite stumped when I read this. Can't really think of anything. Not that our marriage is perfect but we always manage to resolve our issues through open communication and give and take. :love: