Club SAHM

[Imami]

janet_lee88:

I was angry...I was really angry.

I lost myself and my senses when he blasted over a Math test...which I think was :siao: this guy is normally mild-mannered. What happened to him that night? My anger took over but never once did I wish anything awful would happen to him...other than calling him mad.

Did you try to find out/think about what drove him so angry that night? If my husband displayed behaviour that is so unexpected of him, I would want to find out why than to fume over it for days.

[ammonite]

sleepy:

janet_lee88:

A date at NTUC since we have to go shopping for grocery but at least we can have a little space to look at our own stuff...he pushes the trolley while I get what we need for the weekdays.

Even a date at NTUC can be all steamy too.

When you're choosing canned food, your dh can carelessly caress your arm or draw small circles on your back. When going down the travellator, he can blow air at the nape of your neck :evil:

:rotflmao:
My sons will definitely cover their eyes and go eeeeeewwwwww......!

[Mawar]

janet_lee88:

My kids have passed the bb/toddler stage. We have moved from the physically tiring stage to the present ie mentally demanding stage - education. The past 14 years seemed to have zoomed past...hubby said we were lucky to have started family early...so now we have proceeded to the next stage. My brother started family late...7 years to be exact. So now, we can enjoy a little freedom from clingy babies.


When the kids grow up a little more, hubby and I can enjoy some privacy when they stay back longer hours in school.
My sincere apologies for the ranting earlier.

I am glad you are feeling better. Think you need to take some time each day to recharge and reflect. From your posts, you have been giving and giving and on an overdrive. When you feel depleted, you will not be able to see things in its proper perspective. You cannot give the best of yourself.

You put your kids' needs above all else. Like you shared, the physical needs have been met. Learn to loosen the apron string. Let the kids grow their emotional strength. When your kids stand tall and strong independently, your job is done. Too much hand holding and for too long cripples a kid. And kids are actually more resilient than we give them credit for.

Take a step back. Even if everything falls flat, it will ultimately fall into its rightful place.

[sleepy]

ammonite:

sleepy:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]A date at NTUC since we have to go shopping for grocery but at least we can have a little space to look at our own stuff...he pushes the trolley while I get what we need for the weekdays.

Even a date at NTUC can be all steamy too.

When you're choosing canned food, your dh can carelessly caress your arm or draw small circles on your back. When going down the travellator, he can blow air at the nape of your neck :evil:

:rotflmao:
My sons will definitely cover their eyes and go eeeeeewwwwww......![/quote]
Still alright la, PG13 only

[janet88]

He couldn’t get over son’s less than satisfactory PSLE results…so wanted him to do very well for this year’s tests/exams in the hope of transferring him to the schools which we (including son) were aiming for.


However, the choices we were wanted earlier didn’t rank high now…bcos they:
1) were much further than his present school
2) school fees was based on monthly
3) son didn’t want to leave this school as he has settled in.

[buds]

sleepy:

It hasn't been smooth sailing for me either. Read about my low point.

Babe, all new parents are inexperienced parents. At least you had each other for quite a long time to know each other better. I didn't have that luxury and was not only an inexperienced parent... I was an inexperienced daughter-in-law as well. Always kena bully and tekan. Guys NS 2 yrs.. i NS 10 draining years.

sleepy:

It really depends on how old are your kids now. Young kids drain a lot of energy from parents, very hard to be lovey dovey. It will get better for you when your kids grow up. Dh & I didn't fix any day for dates. More like ad hoc basis, whenever we can squeeze time to. Even if no time to leave the house, I will snuggle close to him and hold his hands while watching tv.

I have young kids AND old kids. They should drain us till we are sapped but he still can blow air whispering sweet nothings at the nape of my neck in btwn. :rotflmao: Yes, must find time to squeeze each other.. uhmm.. i meant squeeze time for one another.

We have movie nites at home. At times still have the boys sitting around us with their trains and cars. They can fall asleep in btwn movie oso ok. I still bf so no need to leave seat to make milk. When they are put in their beds we can snuggle and squeeze but problem is always leads to another movie entirely but offers better sleep they say. :preen:

[ammonite]

janet_lee88:

He couldn't get over son's less than satisfactory PSLE results...so wanted him to do very well for this year's tests/exams in the hope of transferring him to the schools which we (including son) were aiming for.


However, the choices we were wanted earlier didn't rank high now...bcos they:
1) were much further than his present school
2) school fees was based on monthly
3) son didn't want to leave this school as he has settled in.

This is a difficult one, esp given (3). I think son and father will have to sort this one out. How dad deals with this will shape their relationship through the teenage years.

[buds]

sleepy:

ammonite:

[quote=\"sleepy\"]Even a date at NTUC can be all steamy too.


When you're choosing canned food, your dh can carelessly caress your arm or draw small circles on your back. When going down the travellator, he can blow air at the nape of your neck :evil:

:rotflmao:
My sons will definitely cover their eyes and go eeeeeewwwwww......!

Still alright la, PG13 only [/quote]Mine usually either goes :

1. Here we go again people. (then covers eyes)

2. Not in front of the children you two. (then covers eyes)

3. Can you go to your room? Cos i wanna watch tv. (doesn't wanna cover eyes that's glued to the tv)

[buds]

Forgot to add...


If we are outside..

It will go..

1. We didn't see that.

[buds]

janet_lee88:

He couldn't get over son's less than satisfactory PSLE results...so wanted him to do very well for this year's tests/exams in the hope of transferring him to the schools which we (including son) were aiming for.


However, the choices we were wanted earlier didn't rank high now...bcos they:
1) were much further than his present school
2) school fees was based on monthly
3) son didn't want to leave this school as he has settled in.

This is why managing and REALLY realising those expectations... our expectations... is VERY important.

It is because of these expectations that keep such thoughts coming back to haunt and indirectly causes unpleasant shoves telling the child to ultimately realize it for the parents (harping about it till today) even though the exams are already way over.

Parents must understand the children's limitations. When we say move on or already pat the child on the back that the worst is already over, it must be over and done with.

If these expectations are still expected of the child when his best has already been used up, the backlash can come from the child not having good esteem of himself and doing poorly on top of the parent or parents being angry over the littlest things related anything to academics.

Thin ice.

Especially since the triggers can be anything.. anytime.. anywhere.

janet_lee88, perhaps you can consider a really heart to heart talk with hubby.. not just for the benefit of your son but definitely for the both of you. :hugs: