Club SAHM
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vinegar:
Teaching is a skill and a committment.
True. I am surprised my DH,who is relatively highly educated n graduated from top sec/JC/uni...could not teach. :skeptical:ngl2010:
At first, I and DH did not like the idea of tuition. We thought we can teach everything ourselves. We thought it is just primary school, no big deal. Until one day... We were at the swimming pool watching DS and a lot of other children doing all the requirements to pass the bronze exam. And we saw this boy struggling to swim from the first requirement to the next. His father was constantly giving him advice from his seat. It looks like the father is the boy's coach. In the end, the boy was the only one that did not pass from a batch of 50-60 children that took the test. It was a really sad scene....
After that incident, we realised that we'd better outsource tuition to people that know how to teach. Knowing a subject ourselves does not mean we can teach. We are also not up-to-date on the current syllabus, so why take the risk?
I notice his explanation is too \"chim\" for my son to understand :boogie: ....Even he understands,i find he tends to forget abt what he taught coz he doesn't hv the tactic or skills, to help him to remember.
DH can teach very well.......he knows how to explain concepts clearly and will try different ways of explaining if one explanation doesn't work. I even have friends trying to get him to teach their kids.
But just as teaching is a skill......laziness and knowing how to reject nicely repeatedly without incurring the wrath of another party is also a skill :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
So.....DH hardly coach.....only do prime-time appearance when really 'critical' and when everyone shouting for SOS. :mad: Anyway we have tuition also
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Very inspiring sharings by all of you mummies. Thanks for that. It sets me thinking as well. I am also one of those who do not send kids to tuitions. But I am keeping an openmind and will observe my ds. If I feel that he needs help Iโll do something abt it. Currently he is fine because my expectations are not unrealistic. I always discuss goals with ds. If he scores 85, I said letโs aim for 86 together in the next round. So far such tiny steps work for him. Every child/parent is unique and succeeds differently.
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Very inspiring sharings by all of you mummies. Thanks for that. It sets me thinking as well. I am also one of those who do not send kids to tuitions. But I am keeping an openmind and will observe my ds. If I feel that he needs help Iโll do something abt it. Currently he is fine because my expectations are not unrealistic. I always discuss goals with ds. If he scores 85, I said letโs aim for 86 together in the next round. So far such tiny steps work for him. Every child/parent is unique and succeeds differently.
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When I told my neighbour my dd1 used to attend Kumon (during her preschooler years), and I even offered to pass that neighbour Kumon materials since it's kind of wasteful to just throw away.
She turned around & accused me of hothousing :stupid: saying kids should have childhood and should not attend any form of tuition, blah blah blah.
The irony is that neighbour's dd subsequently told me she's having tuition at a center for Maths and English
So tuition or no tuition?
Either way, someone else will always have something to say. However, I feel that other parents should not judge those who do send their kids to tuition.
Parents have different reasons to send their kids to tuition. Some parents sent kids to tuition to stretch them. Some send kids to tuition to help them cope better. Even tuition centers have different league. From the top end like learning lab to more affordable ones like RC at void decks. And also some parents prefer to actively coach by themselves.
As long that arrangement is working out well for them & they are seeing positive result, it doesn't matter which option is chosen. Everyone's circumstances and every child's learning habit & pattern is different.
For me, I don't coach my kids at all. I couldn't bring myself to self study the entire syllabus first (since way different from our times) & then coach chapter by chapter. Gosh, this is too tedious & beyond my capabilities. I would rather send to tuition centers with readily available materials rather than me making enormous effort to come up with one set of material myself. I do participate in a small way by helping them to file worksheets
Another thing I've learned is not to judge my kids' result. I will browse through the paper, accept whatever marks they got and just sign - on the condition I do see them putting in effort beforehand to prepare -
ngl2010:
I have a similar experience with swimming too. In the beginning, my hubby felt it was foolish to pay for swimming lessons. After all, he's good at sports, teaching the kids to swim would be a piece of cake. Unfortunately, there was always a lack of discipline among other reasons. The kids still couldn't swim after a period of time. In the end, we enrolled them in swimming classes and they made steady progress.At first, I and DH did not like the idea of tuition. We thought we can teach everything ourselves. We thought it is just primary school, no big deal. Until one day... We were at the swimming pool watching DS and a lot of other children doing all the requirements to pass the bronze exam. And we saw this boy struggling to swim from the first requirement to the next. His father was constantly giving him advice from his seat. It looks like the father is the boy's coach. In the end, the boy was the only one that did not pass from a batch of 50-60 children that took the test. It was a really sad scene....
After that incident, we realised that we'd better outsource tuition to people that know how to teach. Knowing a subject ourselves does not mean we can teach. We are also not up-to-date on the current syllabus, so why take the risk?
It can be quite annoying when friends/relatives keep harping that I am good (actually, only manageable) at Chinese and therefore there's no need for my kids to attend Chinese enrichment. :slapshead: My girl attended only two months of one-on-one tuition and dear me, she made so much progress. Unfortunately, she didn't like tuition and would prefer to study on her own. The only thing I insist on is the Chinese creative writing enrichment (kiasu
).
For school work, I try not to interfere too unless they ask for help. The other day, my girl just complained that it was daddy's fault that she didn't score full mark for a piece of maths homework. Why? Cos daddy didn't spot her carelessness while checking through her work! Gave her a piece of my mind on that. For me, school work is solely their responsibiltiy.
However, that doesn't mean I leave them alone totally. I am still \"actively\" involved in their learning by exposing them to other stuffs outside of school requirements through materials and discussions . -
sleepy:
If I were to judge them based on the effort they put in, I will be screaming at them for every paper. My boy was still reading storybooks the nights before his exam last year.
Another thing I've learned is not to judge my kids' result. I will browse through the paper, accept whatever marks they got and just sign - on the condition I do see them putting in effort beforehand to prepare
Instead, I asked them to reflect on the mistakes they made, why they made it and how to avoid it in future. Mostly are either careless mistakes or unsure of the answering techniques required. So, they have to think of ways to improve on those weak areas. For instance, my girl has been preparing for her tingxie since the start of school. However, a couple of times she score 95. I merely asked her what went wrong and if she's satisfied with her score. One thing for sure, I can see she's more careful with her strokes for Chinese. -
metz:
As long as he had done sufficient revision before he read his story books, I would have no problem with it. We should judge effort by other criteria as well, not just by time spent. After all, we don't like bosses who judge employees only by the hours they sit at their desks. My younger daughter did PSLE in Singapore in 2011, and she said her classmates were shocked that she still read story books right up to and through the exam period, but I told her that as long as she felt that she had put in enough work, it was OK. She did pretty well in the end, so I don't think it was a bad thing to let her have that kind of relaxation.
If I were to judge them based on the effort they put in, I will be screaming at them for every paper. My boy was still reading storybooks the nights before his exam last year.sleepy:
Another thing I've learned is not to judge my kids' result. I will browse through the paper, accept whatever marks they got and just sign - on the condition I do see them putting in effort beforehand to prepare -
slmkhoo:
heeheee...
I think you are wise. My husband and I always remind ourselves (and our kids!) that we cannot invest our lives so heavily in our kids that we parents lose our own identity and forfeit our own aspirations.
my aspiration is to be a sahm so i can stay at home....so how?
my husband's aspiration is to strike toto and stay at home with me.
we invest our lives so heavily around each other too.....very jialat to think many decades down the road when one of us need to be gone first. :gloomy: -
jedamum:
Me too. I can't think of the days when he is gone :sad:
heeheee...slmkhoo:
I think you are wise. My husband and I always remind ourselves (and our kids!) that we cannot invest our lives so heavily in our kids that we parents lose our own identity and forfeit our own aspirations.
my aspiration is to be a sahm so i can stay at home....so how?
my husband's aspiration is to strike toto and stay at home with me.
we invest our lives so heavily around each other too.....very jialat to think many decades down the road when one of us need to be gone first. :gloomy:
But i don't want him to stay at home with me the whole day when he retires leh... He definitely will make me annoyed... -
BeContented:
Your DH is some kind of ๆญฆๆ้ซๆ๏ผTeaching is a skill and a committment.
DH can teach very well.......he knows how to explain concepts clearly and will try different ways of explaining if one explanation doesn't work. I even have friends trying to get him to teach their kids.
But just as teaching is a skill......laziness and knowing how to reject nicely repeatedly without incurring the wrath of another party is also a skill :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
So.....DH hardly coach.....only do prime-time appearance when really 'critical' and when everyone shouting for SOS. :mad: Anyway we have tuition also
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