Club SAHM
-
ngl2010:
If the boss knows, what can the boss do? Your husband had made up his mind, right? If the boss wants to fire him, at least your husband will get 1 month salary as compensation, right?[/quote]
My hb is 41 too. But as his industry is very small, and he is in a high position, a rank lower than his boss, I am also worried that he over qualified for most of the other jobs. But he complain that if he do not quit, he will not be able to look for a new job as news will travel to his boss.SAHM Chew:
[quote=\"ngl2010\"]
Can he find a job first before he quit? I know of somebody that quit his high paying job and could not find job until now. Already more than 6 months. He is above 40 so it is difficult to find a job although he is willing to receive lower salary.
Maybe he is worried existing boss will sabotage his attempt to look for new job if news travelled back to his boss? And make things more difficult for himwhile he's still on lookout?
Actually if boss is so mean can still sabo after he quit without job. for senior position , hirer typically will ask for reference from previous employer -
SAHM Chew:
No way to cut back on expenses? Or change field? I know a guy out of job for three years, also over forty and over qualified. But track record also not very good. If your hubby has a good track record, his chances could be quite good.
I am trying to be supportive, but deep down, I know that savings tap into are unable to save back. Since he is highly paid, when he quit and even if he manage to get another job, the new pay will be much lesser and may not even covered our daily expenses. Even if it does, there is no way we can save back what we have used.ammonite:
Good point. SIL is teacher. One of her students' father was found in the river. Officially it was misadventure, but another colleague who knew the father said he had depression.
SAHM Chew,
I have seen relatives family going through financial difficulties, from very rich to bankruptcy, family abandoned by father/husband, husband lose respectable in and go to prison, dying child.
The worst, the absolute worst, is having to nurse a dying child. Money can be earned back, broken families can heal, prison can come out and start again. Dying child is a forever pain.
The best is to provide your husband with a listening ear, tell him The family can make adjustments and pull through together. Your sons may surprise you with their grit and tenacity and whatever happens now, may be the event that turned them into strong men in future.
Look through your finances and see how long they can last. Then you can have a better idea how to move forward.
I did look through our finances and I do know how long they can last. But I am more worried if the finances run out before he can find a job. -
a person want to quit the job, need to give one/two months notice, right?in this period he also can find job.
-
SAHM Chew:
It is not immediately. It had been an issue for the past 6 Mths, n he could not take it anymore, despite working for the same boss for over 10yrs. The problems arises a year ago, n he could not tolerate the boss, morale is very low, staffs morales are low too.[/quote]Has your DH tendered his resignation? DH was in a similar position, he quit from a high paying job as he was unhappy and felt that he could not continue in that company. Though he found another job quickly enough, he ended up being even more unhappy. His pay literally fell to 50% of what he was drawing when in the 1st company. Left again and joined another company only to have to leave again due to some restructuring and he was not willing to be posted overseas. But he was lucky to be given a severance package. He was jobless for about 9months and was living on savings that we have put aside as our retirement funds. On top of that he was still paying a very high income tax from his previous job.
Why does he need to quit immediately? Can you talk him out of it?TheAnswer:
[quote=\"SAHM Chew\"]Ladies, what is your darkest moment as a SAHM?
I am facing my darkest moment now. My DH had decided to quit his high paying job and soon we will be unemployed with 3 young boys. And high expenses to maintain.
No new job at the moment and we have to tap into our savings.
It was easier for us as I am also working and drawing a decent income. But it was also worrying and DH felt very insecure everytime he needs to draw from our savings. But at the end of the day, for me, I'd rather we use those savings now than keep holding on to it as I can see that DH was really very unhappy and he was depressed. He even sent me an email saying he wished to end it all.
Put your worries aside for now. Take a good look at your savings and how far it can take you. Look into areas where you can cut back. And if possible, consider rejoining the workforce. While you are working all these out, tell your DH to hang in there. Most of the time, people may feel slightly better when they know that something is being done and there may be hope for a change coming.
:hugs: -
Aiya commented half way just now battery flat. Just wanted to add, in situation like this, he can rely on his network. He should be very experience & know many people since holding senior position . Eg.like ex colleagues or ex bosses in same industry who knows his true capabilities so even if current boss wanna sabo when news travelled to him that network can vouch for him.
-
ngl2010:
If the boss knows, what can the boss do? Your husband had made up his mind, right? If the boss wants to fire him, at least your husband will get 1 month salary as compensation, right?[/quote]I don't think he will get compensation if he is fired. Only retrenched had benefits
My hb is 41 too. But as his industry is very small, and he is in a high position, a rank lower than his boss, I am also worried that he over qualified for most of the other jobs. But he complain that if he do not quit, he will not be able to look for a new job as news will travel to his boss.SAHM Chew:
[quote=\"ngl2010\"]
Can he find a job first before he quit? I know of somebody that quit his high paying job and could not find job until now. Already more than 6 months. He is above 40 so it is difficult to find a job although he is willing to receive lower salary. -
metz:
My hubby had been holding off for 6 mths. He do not want to be 'mentally toture' by his boss.Hi SAHM Chew,
Is it possible for your husband to hang on a little longer while you assess how you can help in the interim?
My hubby might be facing a career change in 2+ years' time, which will lead to a drastic change in our monthly financial situation too. It's a change that he has been holding off for the longest time. So, when the time comes, we'll have to bit the bullet. But in the meantime, I am also actively keeping a lookout for future possibilities that will help supplement income.
If my memory serves me well, you were a former teacher, right? How about giving group lessons to help tide over the financial situation for the time being?
I am not a former teacher. -
ammonite:
No way to cut back on expenses? Or change field? I know a guy out of job for three years, also over forty and over qualified. But track record also not very good. If your hubby has a good track record, his chances could be quite good.[/quote]Hard to change field, as it means that all his effort in the past 15 yrs will be given up.
I am trying to be supportive, but deep down, I know that savings tap into are unable to save back. Since he is highly paid, when he quit and even if he manage to get another job, the new pay will be much lesser and may not even covered our daily expenses. Even if it does, there is no way we can save back what we have used.SAHM Chew:
[quote=\"ammonite\"]Good point. SIL is teacher. One of her students' father was found in the river. Officially it was misadventure, but another colleague who knew the father said he had depression.
SAHM Chew,
I have seen relatives family going through financial difficulties, from very rich to bankruptcy, family abandoned by father/husband, husband lose respectable in and go to prison, dying child.
The worst, the absolute worst, is having to nurse a dying child. Money can be earned back, broken families can heal, prison can come out and start again. Dying child is a forever pain.
The best is to provide your husband with a listening ear, tell him The family can make adjustments and pull through together. Your sons may surprise you with their grit and tenacity and whatever happens now, may be the event that turned them into strong men in future.
Look through your finances and see how long they can last. Then you can have a better idea how to move forward.
I did look through our finances and I do know how long they can last. But I am more worried if the finances run out before he can find a job.
The only way I can cut on expenses is to cut down on my kids tuition. The most expenses things are IRAS, car and ins. IRAS, we still need to pay until apr next yr for last yr assessment. Car loan left with one yr til next yr Apr too. Ins, hard to cut as it cover for 5 of us. -
Funz:
Has your DH tendered his resignation? DH was in a similar position, he quit from a high paying job as he was unhappy and felt that he could not continue in that company. Though he found another job quickly enough, he ended up being even more unhappy. His pay literally fell to 50% of what he was drawing when in the 1st company. Left again and joined another company only to have to leave again due to some restructuring and he was not willing to be posted overseas. But he was lucky to be given a severance package. He was jobless for about 9months and was living on savings that we have put aside as our retirement funds. On top of that he was still paying a very high income tax from his previous job.
It is not immediately. It had been an issue for the past 6 Mths, n he could not take it anymore, despite working for the same boss for over 10yrs. The problems arises a year ago, n he could not tolerate the boss, morale is very low, staffs morales are low too.SAHM Chew:
[quote=\"TheAnswer\"]
Why does he need to quit immediately? Can you talk him out of it?
It was easier for us as I am also working and drawing a decent income. But it was also worrying and DH felt very insecure everytime he needs to draw from our savings. But at the end of the day, for me, I'd rather we use those savings now than keep holding on to it as I can see that DH was really very unhappy and he was depressed. He even sent me an email saying he wished to end it all.
Put your worries aside for now. Take a good look at your savings and how far it can take you. Look into areas where you can cut back. And if possible, consider rejoining the workforce. While you are working all these out, tell your DH to hang in there. Most of the time, people may feel slightly better when they know that something is being done and there may be hope for a change coming.
:hugs:[/quote]We have similar situation. High income tax, and for the new job, it may also mean 50-60% pay cut.
I am considering to join back the workforce, but I may not be able to command a high pay. And I will need to place my kids in student care. In that case, the income that I have may just be enough to pay for the student care fees. -
how old are your kids now?
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login