Is GEP really necessary?

[Mychildren]

2ppaamm:

beanbear:

[quote=\"2ppaamm\"]
To the average mainstreamers, the game is not over yet, there are plenty of scholarships offered by overseas institutions if you plan wisely. Search, and you will find other pathways, we are in 2012, aren't we? To those with $$$, go overseas and let your children enjoy their childhood. To kids who are not performing in the current education system, know that there is very little support, you will need to be creative to survive. Look hard, you will find opportunities, which may not be present in the system. All in all, it is an unnecessarily difficult education system to maneuver, with everyone stepping over each other.

Thanks for articulating this. It's been carthartic to read your long post. The anger I've been feeling especially in these past months has been brewing with nowhere to let out. Finally, I've awakened and made a decision stop feeling angry with the system and feeling sorry for myself and my kids. I'm not going to play the game or whatever hidden agenda this government is dishing out at me. I will carve out a different path for my kids. As it is, DS1 has been showing more interest in entrepreneurship even with the PSLE going on and I've been happy to explore these questions with him. I've been having economics 101 conversations with my 12 year old and I'm enjoying these conversations about life decisions and what he wants for his career or business. I'm learning to appreciate that these conversations about long term perspectives and decisions will be more important than some of the crazy exam questions we are trying to solve.

As for DD2 who \"gifted\" (shows moments of brilliance to solving complex problems and musically talented) and yet cannot pass an exam without herculean efforts. I've finally reframed my own thinking and did what you've said, be creative and look locally and globally for solutions. We are not rich to be able send our kids to international schools or go abroad, but that will not stop me from creating a path that I believe will help my kids to thrive in their adulthood.

:goodpost: I enjoyed reading it, because it reminded me of myself trying to carve out a niche for my oldest boy, and at that time, I was clueless as to what to do. The resources on the internet was not as comprehensive as they are today, people are not as open as today and certainly, there was no one to consult with or ask. I told the principal that my son is good at Math, and the principal told me that he has another who bunch probably better than my son, and the principal did not want to listen to what my son was doing or was capable of. Nevertheless, my son went on top the school's prelim exam, beating all students, GEP and non.

I realized at that point that educators are not interested to nurture any talent. They were more interested in raising the mass and their own KPIs. They are still more concerned with their own school ranking and results. So, I decided I had to search out a path for my own child. I have come to believe that as long as we believe and search hard, we will find solutions, and I did. I knew at that time that I am probably the only Singaporean seeking an American alternative. In the end, my son embarked a High School program equivalent to an A level when he was P5, all on his own. I tried to tell the principal, hoping he would lend me some support. But he again brushed it aside, saying his other children are probably better. So, I learned that I have to journey on my own.

Now I know that all these - lack of support, uninterested MOE, uninterested educators all came into my life for a good reason. Because of this, I became very resilient, I diligently research institutions of interest in almost every country, searched through all possible avenues, spoken to thousands of people. I chanced upon so many options for my children, and found so many opportunities at the same time. My son is now 18, and into postgrad. I think, because of the lack of support, we managed to carve out a unique path for him. As it turned out, my other children also followed his path, all entering universities breaking records of being the youngest, and I hardly have to pay for their university degree now. A far cry from the helpless person I was a few years ago. I was determined not to be helpless.

There will always be obstacles and difficulties, but BECAUSE of the inadequacy of the system, I managed to find alternative paths for my children, and sent them to good universities and provided them opportunities beyond our own imaginations. We achieved what we never thought we could.

Some people said it is because I have very gifted children, but I say they were not even recognized or given opportunities locally, some people say they have talent, but I say they were hidden. I have learned that we can achieve whatever our minds' eyes can see. So, I hope to encourage all to just go for anything you can imagine. Whether it is an Ivy League, a scholarship, early entrant. Yes, we can make silly dreams, and our silly dreams WILL come true only if we would believe and then put that belief into action.[/quote]2ppaamm,
I do enjoy reading what you've written here. Very personal and yet you are generous to share with us here. Most of us can only see what's the education here and did not make attempt to look out of it. You're great in making effort to look for alternative paths for your kids and bold to make the move, not giving up hope! There are many paths to success and happiness, not only one, if one makes the effort to find it!
I may not be as bold as you to make that move. Maybe some days, I will and have to.

[Imami]

Chenonceau:

Eeeeeeps! Your experience sounds so traumatic. I am glad God did not see fit to test me with a gifted child, let alone 4. God's gifts can be hard to live up to. I have learnt early in my life that being able to blend in is a joy. I don't wish my kids to be different. To be different is to go through pain that is often hard to bear.


I want my kids in mainstream so they can learn to be like the majority. Happiness is more important than being special and thus, different and misunderstood.

Nobody ever understands when I try to explain the part in brown,, that this is what I hope in my child. Most would go :yikes: , some would give me the outright :siao:

I stopped saying that for a while now... Since no one understand. And I began to have some doubts to my mentality - is there anything wrong with me to prefer having a child who can blend in with the majority?

Thank you Chen, because of what you said, I am more sure than before that being able to blend in is more important.

[Mychildren]

Yes, gifted or not is not so important. Able to find happiness is more important. $$, authority & fame may not give you true happiness though they're useful when one needs them.


Imami,
I don't find you :siao: .
When one is in the working society, blending in is very important.

[Zeng]

Imami:

Chenonceau:

Eeeeeeps! Your experience sounds so traumatic. I am glad God did not see fit to test me with a gifted child, let alone 4. God's gifts can be hard to live up to. I have learnt early in my life that being able to blend in is a joy. I don't wish my kids to be different. To be different is to go through pain that is often hard to bear.


I want my kids in mainstream so they can learn to be like the majority. Happiness is more important than being special and thus, different and misunderstood.

Nobody ever understands when I try to explain the part in brown,, that this is what I hope in my child. Most would go :yikes: , some would give me the outright :siao:

I stopped saying that for a while now... Since no one understand. And I began to have some doubts to my mentality - is there anything wrong with me to prefer having a child who can blend in with the majority?

Thank you Chen, because of what you said, I am more sure than before that being able to blend in is more important.

You are not alone, the silent majority are with you on this. For those whose kids are very extraordinarily ordinary, do count this as a blessing rather than a very extraordinarily extraordinary kid who comes to you one day and say \"Mum, I like Life but Life doesn't like me.\"

[Chenonceau]

Imami:

Thank you Chen, because of what you said, I am more sure than before that being able to blend in is more important.

I am not sure that one is more IMPORTANT than the other. I don't want to judge those who seek the extraordinary destiny for their children, especially if they do have extraordinary children. It then becomes that parent's duty to help their kids towards that extraordinary destiny. We don't always get to choose.

To be extraordinary means to have a life changing impact on countless others. Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Coco Chanel, Elvis Presley, Margaret Thatcher, Lee Kuan Yew, Marilyn Monroe... I have noticed that these people did pay a certain personal price for their greatness.

Coco Chanel was incredibly lonely. Elvis Presley died a mess and early. Margaret Thatcher sacrificed much for her greatness. Aung San Suu Kyi is a legend in the making. She paid for it with great personal pain. The basic human need is to feel an emotional connection with those around the self. People who are different don't often have that luxury because greatness cannot be understood enough to have hearts meet. Others may adore, revere, respect... But it is not the same as friendship. But then again, extraordinary people don't get to choose. If God sees fit to gift you with greatness in the way he gifted Paul, then suffering comes with the gift. And God knows how much Paul suffered.

If greatness comes at no price, then everyone would want to BE great. As it is, our little GEPpers do suffer already societal prejudice and ostracism to some extent and they aren't any near GREAT and some will never be. There is always a price to pay. If one CAN and does not fear that price, then fine.

I fear it.

[Imami]

Mychildren:

Yes, gifted or not is not so important. Able to find happiness is more important. $$, authority & fame may not give you true happiness though they're useful when one needs them.


Imami,
I don't find you :siao: .
When one is in the working society, blending in is very important.

Thank you. It is very comforting.

[Imami]

Zeng:

Imami:

[quote=\"Chenonceau\"]Eeeeeeps! Your experience sounds so traumatic. I am glad God did not see fit to test me with a gifted child, let alone 4. God's gifts can be hard to live up to. I have learnt early in my life that being able to blend in is a joy. I don't wish my kids to be different. To be different is to go through pain that is often hard to bear.

I want my kids in mainstream so they can learn to be like the majority. Happiness is more important than being special and thus, different and misunderstood.

Nobody ever understands when I try to explain the part in brown,, that this is what I hope in my child. Most would go :yikes: , some would give me the outright :siao:
I stopped saying that for a while now... Since no one understand. And I began to have some doubts to my mentality - is there anything wrong with me to prefer having a child who can blend in with the majority?

Thank you Chen, because of what you said, I am more sure than before that being able to blend in is more important.

You are not alone, the silent majority are with you on this. For those whose kids are very extraordinarily ordinary, do count this as a blessing rather than a very extraordinarily extraordinary kid who comes to you one day and say \"Mum, I like Life but Life doesn't like me.\"[/quote]Thank you. But I haven't met much of the silent majority, so this is comforting.

[Imami]

Chenonceau:

Imami:

Thank you Chen, because of what you said, I am more sure than before that being able to blend in is more important.

I am not sure that one is more IMPORTANT than the other. I don't want to judge those who seek the extraordinary destiny for their children, especially if they do have extraordinary children. It then becomes that parent's duty to help their kids towards that extraordinary destiny. We don't always get to choose.

To be extraordinary means to have a life changing impact on countless others. Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Coco Chanel, Elvis Presley, Margaret Thatcher, Lee Kuan Yew, Marilyn Monroe... I have noticed that these people did pay a certain personal price for their greatness.

Coco Chanel was incredibly lonely. Elvis Presley died a mess and early. Margaret Thatcher sacrificed much for her greatness. Aung San Suu Kyi is a legend in the making. She paid for it with great personal pain. The basic human need is to feel an emotional connection with those around the self. People who are different don't often have that luxury because greatness cannot be understood enough to have hearts meet. Others may adore, revere, respect... But it is not the same as friendship. But then again, extraordinary people don't get to choose. If God sees fit to gift you with greatness in the way he gifted Paul, then suffering comes with the gift. And God knows how much Paul suffered.

If greatness comes at no price, then everyone would want to BE great. As it is, our little GEPpers do suffer already societal prejudice and ostracism to some extent and they aren't any near GREAT and some will never be. There is always a price to pay. If one CAN and does not fear that price, then fine.

I fear it.

I see a difference between being able to blend in with the Majority and being ordinary. No, If i can have a say, i do not want my child to be ordinary. Being such a mediocre all my life, I do not wish that on my child if he is capable of more. One can be different/better yet being able to blend in.

[verykiasu2010]

vlim:

Hi 2ppamm,

I think I get your pt ... But I think for parents who are not so resourceful and $$$$... They have no choice but to 'play' the game ... As we wouldn't want chances or money to drop from the shy ... Neither do I want to let my kid to go to a much lousier school if I think tt he deserve or good enough to be in a better one ....
Anyway tt is just my opinion, all of us hope to 忘子成龙...but we parents can only help Our kids within our own capability ... Sad huh ..unfair huh ..

i think some of us really 忘子成龙 instead of 望子成龙 :evil: :evil: :rotflmao:

[Chenonceau]

Imami:

I see a difference between being able to blend in with the Majority and being ordinary. No, If i can have a say, i do not want my child to be ordinary. Being such a mediocre all my life, I do not wish that on my child if he is capable of more. One can be different/better yet being able to blend in.

Extraordinary people stand out, no? They don't blend in? If you draw extraordinarily well, people notice you. You will still be lonely in that only you can engage with your art at the level you do. Others cannot understand. When you can see things and do things others cannot, you are different. Not ordinary.

When I started Potato Chinese(TM), I was flamed by those who did not understand the human psychology. I met resistance from my own family. It was lonely. Not until we obtained results were friends and family open to my psychological explanations of why and how it works. Potato Chinese(TM) isn't anything great but it does mean I am different... And it made Little Boy a little less ordinary. But it did mean social rejection for me, for a while. And really, that is peanuts compared to what truly extraordinary people have to bear.

Being extraordinary means you can't blend in. The 2 go together, no? What you want is high ability. Those can still blend in. Gee... Am I even making sense? Sorry... Sleepy... Not very coherent! Heh!