Extra Marital Affair

[mum77]

Hi OrangeBelt,

Dun mind can you pls PM me the contact for your PI and the lawyer as well as the cost incurr ?

Am having the same situation. I’m vey very heart pain as DH lie to me again.
He tell me the relationship with her is few years back and they are no more contact.
But this morning i saw a sms that he send the "that" woman to say that he will stand by her side until "that day" coming and he will always love her…

My heart broken , seems like no point th keep this marriage anymore although i am still love him very much…

thanks in advance

[margies]

Hey insider,


Thanks for the share. Broken family has been around lately. I,for one is a product of it. Though, I’ve been in my entire life. I’ve always adore my mom for being so brave. Their story is different from yours thus my mom did try to forgive and forget my dad. But, the extra marital affairs occurred more than many. That my mom finally decide to let go.

We are happy now, and I believe my dad too (with his other family).

[BeContented]

Sad & scary that there are soooo many EMA these days.

Make me kinda worried too. Ladies who are/had experienced it, be strong. It’s always easy for one to say…but still until one has a personal experience, we can only encourage you to stay strong.

Hope you can share what are the warning signs…

[peapot]

Yes, nowdays pretty common. I know my customers who has China girlfriend and hide from their wife. Not just one man like that but a handful of them. Girlfriends always from china. Some tell me the china girl treats them well. When I meet their wives in company functions, I can’t tell their wife. It’s really sad. I feel sorry for their wife. Most of these men know their china girlfriend from nightclub.

I think when they got married it probably didn’t cross their mind they will have EMA. It’s the company they mixed with that causes the influence.

[Compass]

Good Article on Adultery:

http://www.family.org.sg/default.aspx?go=article&aid=652

[Dreamaurora]

peapot:

Yes, nowdays pretty common. I know my customers who has China girlfriend and hide from their wife. Not just one man like that but a handful of them. Girlfriends always from china. Some tell me the china girl treats them well. When I meet their wives in company functions, I can't tell their wife. It's really sad. I feel sorry for their wife. Most of these men know their china girlfriend from nightclub.

I think when they got married it probably didn't cross their mind they will have EMA. It's the company they mixed with that causes the influence.

Speaking of these china girls, the counsellor who conducted our marriage prep course last time shared that these girls know exactly what men want. They will speak in lower voice because wives tend to nag in higher pitched voice and they know to say things that stroke the men's egos.

But anyway, I believe if one strays, the seed is already planted even before marriage. That is why must be wary already during dating if bf/gf likes to flirt or spend long hours out there 'entertaining'.

[Precious2.012911lee]

peapot:

Yes, nowdays pretty common. I know my customers who has China girlfriend and hide from their wife. Not just one man like that but a handful of them. Girlfriends always from china. Some tell me the china girl treats them well. When I meet their wives in company functions, I can't tell their wife. It's really sad. I feel sorry for their wife. Most of these men know their china girlfriend from nightclub.

I think when they got married it probably didn't cross their mind they will have EMA. It's the company they mixed with that causes the influence.

Agree! I have seen enough of such men, especially in mine industry, it's so common. These idiots are so nice in front of their wives and children and you can't tell they have PRC gf or frequent fling at the clubs. Their wives seem to trust them 100% and yes, i cant bring myself to tell them and also do not wish to be the one to \"break up\" the marriage. When these idiots go business trips, it's even worse. Anyway I always believe what goes around comes around. They definitely will have their retribution someday! Perhaps it's easier said, I feel women need to be independent and more importantly financially independent. If really encounter such mishap, we will have the capability to bring up our own children. Sometimes I will tell my husband, if he ever do such a thing and I found out, I will kick him out permanently and he will never get to see his precious children anymore!

[rq1111]

Well, I just come across this tread which I would like to share as a man. I do feel sad for those who have their husband EMA. I am trying to share with you about men and hope to share with you on what I learn about relationship.


In terms of biological, men are make to be more sexual desire than women. If the world have only one man and ten women left on earth. The survival of mankind would be able to last as a man can make ten women to have more babies. But if there is only one woman but there are ten men, the survival rate for mankind would be very dangerous. Therefore, the biological of human being are made in this way. This is just talking about only biological. I do not say that I would agree to this kind of behaviour.

In terms of ethics, a man should be faithful to his wife as this is constitute in the marriage.

Before I was married, I was afraid of marriage. I saw the divorce rate is higher and higher. I do not want to be one of the number. Therefore, I do think about marriage as there is no security in marriage. I would cohabit if I have a partner.

Luckily, I had talked to a pastor and he told me that the difference between cohabit and marriage is responsibility. If I love someone, wouldn’t I should be responsible for the one that I love? From then, I do not think about cohabit.

From research, a lot of them had proved that those who cohabit have a higher rate of divorce than those who do not cohabit.

So I asked myself what makes a marriage long lasting. I had found out there are 3 essential things that would make a marriage last but it would takes two to clap.

First, is both the couple must have high level of commitment to the marriage. I noticed that nowadays many people have very low commitment towards marriage. Anything wrong, divorce would come to mind. This mentalility is very bad which also resulted higher divorce rate. Many people think that divorce could solve the problem but I would said that it would solve partial problems. If the couple do not have any children, then it would only affect the couple but those with children, the children would be hurt the most.

If the commitment is high for the couple, any problems could be solve Together. Yes, to solve the problems TOGETHER.

Even with the problem of EMA, couple can sit down and solve the problem together. What went wrong that cause EMA? Do you think men would like to flirt and have EMA if his wife treats him very well? Even though a man has higher sexual desire but if his wife knows how to respect him and treat him well, he will not want to have EMA. I believe some women would disagree with me and said that didn’t I treat him well? I cook, wash and take care of the house for him yet he dare to said that I do not treat him well? I believe wife would love to hear nice thing from husband like " I love you", " you are so beautiful" and etc even though husband may have work very hard to bring bread home. So men also need to hear nice thing from wife.

Second, is the communication. Problems arises due to poor communication. Men and women are really different and they see and hear things differently. I give a few simple examples. Wife told husband to find something but husband always could not find the thing. Men have better direction than women. Men and women are made differently therefore there are many different opinions between each other. It is the communication that set things right. Do not keep any dissatisfactory in the heart but do voice out tactfully and gently. If you are feeling very angry about something, please cool down first before raising the problems out. Shouting and quarrel do not solve problems but instead give more problems. Therefore, communication is very important in marriage but it is also important in all kinds of relationship.

Third is Trust. If there is no trust in any relationship, it is difficult to maintain. I really cannot imagine if a marriage do not have any trust in it. If husband buys a present for wife, wife might think that their husband might have done something wrong therefore buy something for her. This kind of distrust is really not healthy for marriage. I do not mean to have 100% of trust but at least the trust level should be there is no doubt between the couple.

The above 3 essential elements are what I think would help people in their marriage. I would like to share another bad mentality of "not my fault". When a problem arises, do not pinpoint whose fault but focus on how to solve the problem.

Well, I admit that men are weaker sex when comes to sexual so instead of blaming men, why not help the men? No matter whose problem, it is the couple’s problem therefore both should help to support and help each other instead of pinpointing whose fault. Forgiving also help in a relationship. Learn to forgive and forget whatever fault the other party had done.

Hope that those wives facing EMA learn to forgive and forget. I know it is easier to said than done but forgiving would be more helpful to you than the other party. Well, that is all I have to said.

[cnimed]

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[kiddo]

deminc:

The first time i forgave. The second time i beat him up. If there is a third time, I will smash the windscreen and his laptop before calling the lawyers.

This is not EMA its addiction :gloomy: