All About Bullying

[corneyAmber]

tamarind:

I read the letter in the forum page in the Straits Times, and I was really shocked. First, how can such a young boy learn to do such a horrible thing. I believe that he must have seen someone doing it before, either in real life, or watched too many trashy TV. He must have been brought up in an environment where such horrible beatings seem normal. At his age, he could kill someone, and he does not need to go to jail. I really hope that the authority can take him away and educate him properly, his parents are obviously doing something very wrong.


Another thing that really disturbed me is the people who just stood around to watch. I know that Singaporeans are very kiasi, they don't want to get into trouble. If they stopped the bad boy, his parents may sue them for causing hurt to the boy. But then in this case, the bad boy is doing something so horrible, anyone with common sense should stop him. I cannot believe that Singaporeans can be kiasi until this extent. They are really disgusting.

Yes it is totally unacceptable to me.... uncivil society we have become....

[LOLMum]

what would you do if a parent marches up to your kid and scolds him for being a bully? or if you witness such a thing, what would you do if the kid is not your child?


lately there were 2-3 cases of parent doing that to kids at ds’s school. we dont know what happened between the kids and if school knows of the happenings between the kids.

there are many reasons why the parents approach the kid eg. a) not happy with the way school dealt with it b) unhappy with no actions being taken by school c) parents of bully do not think it is a matter of bullying or their kid is a bully d) parents of victim didnt tell teacher cos’ they thought it might be a one or two times kind of things or their own kids might have been mistaken about bullying but after a few times, parents decided to take tihings into their hands.

[Mrsbongz]

Hmm… if it’s not my child, then I will not interfere as I do not know what happened… But if it is my child, I will ask the parent to explain the situation to me, and I will attempt to resolve it immediately.


I find that sometimes it is just a miscommunication, like my ds will say that his friends bully him and do not want to go to school… it has happened before in his kindy, but after probing, I realised that it was more of harmless pranks, and my child was upset… So I tried to define what bullyin means… or how he can deal with the situation.

I find it disconcerting to label children as ‘bullies’ or problematic… I very much rather teach my child to handle it as a situation than to say, ‘oh that’s bullying, we should complain.’ very often, the ‘bully’ doesn’t know better or has lesser EQ, but that is common in children as they have not fully developewd their ‘reasoning’, empathy sides…

[LOLMum]

i agree that "bully" is used too loosely.


everyone looks at things differently, so what is playing for one might be bullying to another.

so far so good for ds, this only happened once to ds when his classmates did something to his eye area because he wasnt happy with ds for walking faster than him. :!:

i picked up a very shaken ds and promptly informed teacher (i dont mind pushing or hitting if no major injuries but the eye area is another thing) who dealt with it swiftly. i didnt talked to the kids or his parents. both kids are good now and sometimes he joins us for lunch in school and i didnt bring up the matter with him.

i also know of a kid who is on mediation and couldnt control his actions so to put the "bully" term on him is too harsh and hurting for him and his parents.

but i do think parents should know better than to be a bully.

[corneyAmber]

Bully is usually defined as follows:


1. Abusive language is used to harm and hurt a child’s esteem or mental health to show power over the child

2. Physical violence is used to show power over a person

3. Mentally torment someone with mean remarks to exert power over the person.

FYI, teachers can also be bullies knowingly or unknowingly and they often commit the mistake in (3) above and sometimes (1) for severe cases. Albeit teachers are given the authority to scold and discipline children under their charge, they can do it based on facts and not degrade to (1) and (3).

[corneyAmber]

For me, I will evaluate the situation. If there are no adults present to mitigate the situation and it can worsen given that my child is not involved, I will step forth to help allay the situation.


For example, in this case where the 6 yo was obviously hurting the other 6 yo physically, I would break up the fight and then establish what went wrong.

[tamarind]

In this case, one child kick another child in the head 2 times ! No matter what is the reason, other people should have stopped him after he kicked the first time. What if he caused brain damage to the other child ? What kind of adult will stop to wonder what is the reason for him to do so, and not do anything to stop him ? I cannot understand these people. That boy is only 5 years old, what are people afraid of ? How can anyone stand by to see another child being hurt like this ? The child who was bullied could have died. This is 见死不救 !

[tamarind]

insider:

ksi:

Bully is usually defined as follows:


1. Abusive language is used to harm and hurt a child's esteem or mental health to show power over the child

2. Physical violence is used to show power over a person

3. Mentally torment someone with mean remarks to exert power over the person.

FYI, teachers can also be bullies knowingly or unknowingly and they often commit the mistake in (3) above and sometimes (1) for severe cases. Albeit teachers are given the authority to scold and discipline children under their charge, they can do it based on facts and not degrade to (1) and (3).

Trying to digest the 1 to 3 above and sort of 'concluded' that many parents have been 'bullying' their kids though with good intention under (1) and (3)...

Many parents are also doing (2) to their kids, all in the name of love.

[tamarind]

I thought that Singapore is a better society, looks like we are no difference from China :


http://news.qq.com/zt/2004/noneaction/index.htm

　1，众多看客围观弃婴 无人施救初生婴儿被活活冻死

　　一个又一个的过路人从桥上走过，有的停下来看一眼，有的围着感叹一番，有的匆匆而过，始终无人伸手相助。河风吹过带来寒意，孩子的脸色越来越白，大家抱着双臂一面指责狠心父母，一面抱怨世道冷暖...【全文】

　　2，老婆婆落入冰湖丧命 上千人围观无人施救(图)

　　“估计今年是本命年。”有人猜测。“这么多人，怎么没人救一把呢？”许多围观的老人叹息。

　　“男的都干什么去了？”女人们很气愤。“女的就不能救人吗？”一些男人针锋相对。

　　争论在进行着…… 【全文】

　　3，“连环车祸”造成1死7伤 过路者见死不救引众怒

　　车祸发生后，附近万龙村众多村民赶来积极协助交警救人，村民们用棍子将已变形的轿车门撬开，将伤员拖出来。见形势危急，村民们便在路边拦车救人，但令人气愤的是，先后拦了两辆过往车辆，司机停下来后看见伤员多且浑身是血，便均称有急事，一溜烟将车开跑了……【全文】

　　4，农村少年意外跌倒昏死 在场干部见死不救(图)

　　他说：“我当时抱着孩子，一边使劲掐他的人中，一边大声喊人叫救护车。当时大家身上都没有电话，有村民向在场的县政府工作人员请求，让他们用自己的手机给120打个电话叫救护车来，结果对方回答说‘没手机’。大家又请求借用一下政府的固定电话叫救护车，他们却说‘电话不好使’…【全文】

[shn]

Wonder what's kids doing in school nowadays?

P3 \"jio\" to fight in school.
Jus a 20 minutes break......
Recently my son came back telling me that,
A big bully went fighting and pin down some of his classmates in school.
Some were being kicked on tummy some being pin down on floor to kick and punch.
Poor smaller build size kids went home telling .......
Mummy it hurt here!
What will u do? :stompfeet:
Ya . Go to school to confront. :mad:
BUT

Conclusion....... From the school.......
:imsorry: I will seriously look into that matter......
Dayssssssss after.........
I had already counsel the kid, and the parents were being informed.

My point is, the BIG BULLY, after bullied the poor helpless kids, was being counsel and NO MORE!!!
Is that the way how the school discipline the kids nowadays?
Does that means that kids have to fight back otherwise they sure lose out?
Oh ........ :slapshead:

What will you do if your child being beaten up?