Less is more

[mamachris]

ChiefKS,

My mum always commented that she did nothing except bringing us(my siblings) to the library and we all did pretty well in school and she never hired tutors to help us... not to mentioned about enrichment classes! She is hoping that I let my son 'off' so that he can learn carefreely and the words she used was it is so 'STRESSFUL' to attend school. Infact, she really wants my dd to stays at home with her to do nothing (sing Karaoke with her) and learn on her own before she needs to attend K1 at 5YO.

For this reason and others (too tired, no$$), I am really allowing my dd to pick things at her own pace and do the most basic of education for her (inculcating values & focus on her character development). As for my son, we are reducing his enrichment to just managable and the programs he is attending now are programs he asked for.

ChiefKiasu:

Are we being harmful to our children by spending so much energy on their personal education and growth?

Tough question!
I guess it is about balancing. Too little, as parents, we are not helping/guiding our children. Too much, we may ended up having 'problem' or stressful kid...

ChiefKiasu:

Is it better to leave them alone to fend for themselves, so that they will learn to fall and pick themselves up without relying on mummy or daddy?

Another interesting question. The world has changed. It will be alright if it was our time (I am assuming most of us in the forum are the X or early Y-generation). Unfortunately, I guess we ourselves as parents feel uneasy if we leave them alone cos of the social pressure around.

[jedamum]

ChiefKiasu:

The fact that the 2nd child being able to learn faster has a lot to do with competition - the fact that No. 2 has to fight for parental attention and love that No. 1 has never encountered. Most No. 2s are more independent and street-smart compared to No. 1s thanks to this, and also thanks to the fact that parents are WISER and has less time and resources to spend on No. 2 than No. 1. No. 2s are thus more hungry and competitive.

Whenever I let ds1 have access to computer, I can see ds2 envy of his bro.
Whenever I send ds1 to class, ds2 will wail and want to follow inside too.
Whenever I went for ds1's weekly feedback session, ds2 will refuse to leave the classroom.
So i guess he can't wait to grow up.
Somehow, to try to stand out, 2nd child may develop a 'niche' area. My ds2 for one, is going the 'sporty' route (like what ChiefKS mentioned...'streetwise') and is very 'flexible' (cos have to adapt to ds1's programme and class timing) while ds1 is the studious kind (cos of the 'sheltered' and 'planned' life) and a bit rigid (hesitant to accept changes).

[ZacK]

Only have one at the moment and another one on the way… So cant comment much yet. But seems to be a trend based on my talks with other friends who have >1 child:


Kid #1, tend to be more dependant and cautious.
Kid #2, seems more out-going and daring.

I shd think that this is largely due to the parents’ attitude towards the kids as CKS mentioned above… Parents are more seasoned 2nd time round and less particular with kid#2’s upbringing and this seem to be showing in the kids’ behaviours.

[metz]

ZacK:

Kid #1, tend to be more dependant and cautious.
Kid #2, seems more out-going and daring.

I shd think that this is largely due to the parents' attitude towards the kids as CKS mentioned above... Parents are more seasoned 2nd time round and less particular with kid#2's upbringing and this seem to be showing in the kids' behaviours.

My sentiments exactly!

Hey, you are definitely ready for a second kid!

[ZacK]

chamonix:

ZacK:

Kid #1, tend to be more dependant and cautious.
Kid #2, seems more out-going and daring.

I shd think that this is largely due to the parents' attitude towards the kids as CKS mentioned above... Parents are more seasoned 2nd time round and less particular with kid#2's upbringing and this seem to be showing in the kids' behaviours.

My sentiments exactly!

Hey, you are definitely ready for a second kid!

Hahaha thanks... I come from a big family and do love kids... Always had this affinity with them. But to have your own and raise them up properly is a huge responsibility both in terms of time and financial resources.

Well this is one aspect that we all just have to do our best and make do with what we have to give to our kids

[deardear07]

heutistmeintag:

jedamum:

I still do peep at his schoolbags sneakily while he is asleep and grind my teeth to force myself not to correct his work too frequently. :?

hehehe, I am worse. There was a time when my P5 daughter keep getting calls from a male classmate. I asked her what was happening and she refused to tell me. My alarms went off and got very anxious to know what is going on. I peeped into her diary...no mention. gosh..what should I do?

Luckily common sense prevailed and I had a calm discussion with her. Oh, they were only discussing some online games and she didnt want to tell me because she was afraid of being scolded. Until today, I am still feeling so embarassed by my over reaction. :lol:

thinking abt it,i guess most parents would be more portective over girls than boys coz of the 'chasity' issue in our more conservative asian society. i would think itz normal as we all care abt them. if my gal were so big now and oso had the same thing happening,i would be asking alot more qns...

[BlueBells]

My no. 2 learns faster than no. 1 for the following reasons:


1. She is more inqusitive.

2. She learns by example. For instance, with no. 1 I have give verbal instruction and she needs to learn how to process it and understand it. With no. 2, no. 1 will show her how to go about doing it. So no. 2 learns by visual.