Ang Pow Issues...
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concern2:
This is almost exactly what happened to me the past couple of years with my ILs. I usually give them an ang pow each (of SGD200/=) during CNY as a sign of respect, also that they look after my boy etc. don't want them to spend too much money. But the past couple of years my MIL will \"return\" everything back via my kids. Somehow I got really :mad: offended at this. Because I felt like she is throwing the money back at me for whatever reason. I also got this feeling that she does not want to take my money. Same as for me, I also don't want to take their old folks money since they not working although they are financially independant themselves. So I also won't lower my rates.
I think the older folks have this tendency, especially if they are financially independent. I remember when I was still working and was able to give more, they would just transfer whatever amount I gave them and pass on to my kids in their Ang Pows. Subsequently, I would hold back giving them first until they have given my kids so they had no chance to 'pass the buck back'BlueBells:
And whatever amount I give to my parents, she would return the same value (x 4) to my family of 4, so no point giving more.
This year, I felt tired, don't feel like going through all these again and felt that all these are actually quite meaningless. So I told my MIL never mind about the ang pows this year, no need to give. (They are not Chinese btw). But when we went to visit them, I felt bad so still try to give them one and that is when she told me she does not want (since I told her already not to bother so she also won't take from me). OK lor... :roll:
Later she explained that she knows I need to support my parents hence since she is financially independant, she does not want to take my money. But my FIL has got no such problems. He just took it and thank me joyously. I much prefer my FIL's straight-forward attitude. MIL is so much harder to handle! :skeptical:
I told my MIL too that I don't take old folks money and since she always return back everything, this year lets don't bother. Surprisingly its a matter of perspective. She told me SHE was offended because one year I gave back everything to her! Did I? :scratchhead: I thought she was the one!
So lets do away with all these meaningless gestures. I told her usually the old folks will just give the kids a token amount for blessing that's all, no need to give a lot of money (previously they give SGD180-200). So this year they give token ang pows of SGD12 to my kids.
This situation suits me fine. -
Desertwind, you mentioned your in-laws are not chinese, so actually they don’t celebrate CNY and not obliged to give ang pows right? I’m abit confused…
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Angelight:
Desertwind, you mentioned your in-laws are not chinese, so actually they don't celebrate CNY and not obliged to give ang pows right? I'm abit confused...
Hi Angelight, yes, they are not obliged to celebrate CNY and give ang pows but past few years I have invited them to our house for CNY lunch and to celebrate so they brought oranges and ang pows for us. After 7 years, it just occurred to me why am I doing this? So this year decided to drop it slowly lor.... -
oic…so actually you and your hubby can bring the family on a short getaway during the CNY break since your in-laws don’t celebrate CNY. I wished I could do that but no chance cos in-laws would never hear of that.
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:mad: There is a write up on today's Wan Bao about ang pows or rather the amount of $ inside the ang pows. Singaporeans are labelled as cheapskates cos of the amount we give. I don't earn much and am not bothered how you look at my ang pows. I bless those whom I give my ang pows to and it's the thought that counts. I used to received 20 cents from my granny years ago and was happy so long as I was given one. :boogie: I don't even bother who gave how much to my DS. All ang pows collected are opened together, not knowing who they are from. Presumably that the giver gave the same amount to each of my DS, I'll divide the total by 3 and bank into their respective accounts. Of course, we can guess some of them who they were from. DS3 actually mentioned this year that he's going to carry a pen next year to mark out and record the ang pows he received so that he know how much to give to the person next time he's eligible to give ang pows. :faint:
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btw,
do you people bao different angpows amount for nephews/nieces? i used to pao the same until i realised that out of this group of nephew/nieces, a few (the closer ones) are very generous and i reciprocated by giving back bigger ones to their kids. is this 'practice' ok? :scratchhead: -
Angelight:
oic...so actually you and your hubby can bring the family on a short getaway during the CNY break since your in-laws don't celebrate CNY. I wished I could do that but no chance cos in-laws would never hear of that.
It gets so tiring sometimes that I also fantasize about a short getaway. However, the kids actually busk in the CNY mood and the traditions of CNY. For them, it isn't just the actual day, but the building up to the day, including the shopping, decorations, etc. All these will contribute to what CNY means to them now and when they're parents themselves. Like what DH says, it is already so routine everyday, it is a time to do something different and celebrate with all Chinese. Even if it is a short getaway, we would probably visit Taiwan, HK or China where we could have a feel of how CNY is celebrated elsewhere. -
After coming across a STOMP article about how a teen feels when she received a S$2 red packet from her grandfather, I think I would just stuck to the true meaning of giving red packets - for blessings, and blatantly disregard what other people say behind my back…
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BlueBells:
After coming across a STOMP article about how a teen feels when she received a S$2 red packet from her grandfather, I think I would just stuck to the true meaning of giving red packets - for blessings, and blatantly disregard what other people say behind my back....
BlueBells, can share what was said? -
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/this_urban_jungle/915656/youth_calls_grandfather_dumb_old_fella_online_for_giving_her_2.html
Reference the above. I think the youngs these days are so rich that S$2 is nothing to them. Must ensure I pass on the correct meaning and values in receiving red packets to my children. It is the blessings that counts, not the amount in it.
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