Ang Pow Issues...
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DesertWind:
For kids it is still SGD6/= for me.
for kids, $6 angpow reasonable.
$2 angpow giving is from those who are widow, single parent divorcee, retired old folks not working, no income.
If both husband and wife working - can afford to be more generous than $2. -
tutormum:
My uncles and aunts were so stingy that the married ones gave me a very small gift each for my wedding. The gifts were so tiny that can't cover my fingertip though it's made of gold. The unmarried ones didn't give anything. Their logic was as family there's no need to give anything cos it's considered family dinner. Married ones gave as a gesture only. :mad: I was the eldest niece in the family to get married and they were about 3 to 12 years older. I was so embarrassed that I didn't dare to let DH know and thankfully, he never bothered. We came up with an agreement that he'll take care of his family side while I take care of mine when it comes to such occasions. So when it was my uncles' and aunts' children turn to get married, I didn't give much but definitely much more than what they gave me. :pokeeye: I gave one of my cousins a specially made set of silver necklace, bracelet and earrings for her wedding. It's not valuable but priceless as I got my friend to design and made them for her. Definitely more presentable than the miserable tiny gold studded earrings her parents' gave me. :boogie: Worst, her mother grumbled to me during the wedding about the cost of the wedding dinner and I just :heresmyfish: Anyway, I understand that the standard procedure is to record what you have received from your relatives and give the same in return. :razz:
Yesterday, during CNY visit at an aunt's place, she told me that my other uncle's DW, was very upset with me cos I gave her daughter a set of jewelry for her wedding without an ang pow. She was :stompfeet: :stompfeet: :mad: :mad: cos she said that even though I gave a gift - in fact there were 2 gifts as DS1 also bought a gift for her daughter - I should also gave an ang pow to cover the cost of the dinner. My mother also attended the dinner with my brother and gave an ang pow. My mother gave an ang pow which covered my DB1 who didn't attend while my DB2's ang pow included his DW and 2 children's share though they also didn't attend. So, from my 'side' of the family, they received 2 ang pows and 2 gifts.
She :stompfeet: :stompfeet: :stompfeet: that what she received was not enough to cover for the cost of the whole dinner. :sad: :sad: the way she thinks. I understand that she wanted that lavish dinner cos her son-in-law's family very lawah and she didn't want to lose face. :siao: :siao:
Worse, my uncle met with a car accident last year and his DW blamed me for the bad luck cos I didn't give her daughter an ang pow for her wedding which took place in 2011!! :slapshead: :slapshead:
Besides, they simply forgot what they had given me for my wedding. Putting a gold studded pair of earrings in an ang pow is better than a set of jewelry meh? The box of jewelry is too big to put in an ang pow packet mah. :razz:
Sad hor, got such relatives. -
Tutormum, some people are just like that.they fail to remember how they treat other people, only remember how other people treat them.
Move on, don't think about it anymore :hugs: -
Hi tutormom, your that uncle’s wife too much. Usually from relatives, especially for daughters, don’t expect to recover back the cost of the wedding dinner. This was told to me by my mum because she said relatives of a Boy will give more because they will help to recover the cost of the banquet. But for a Girl married out, relatives simply just will not give so much. A little bit of "free ride" actually to give to the bride’s parents that’s all. Actually it is a little "strange" because I presume your uncle’s wife would be given "free tables" by the lawas son-in-law, no? Then whatever she receive from her relatives should be more than enough for her own pocket?
For you, you have already given a box of jewelry to her daughter to me it is enough. -
Thanks Imami and DesertWind,
The reason I shared here was I have been wondering whether is it she or me? DesertWind, I thought maybe it really wasn't enough just to give the jewelry and it's my fault after all.
Honestly when my other aunt questioned me yesterday and told me that I have to give ang pow also on top of the gift, I acted blur like \"oh I didn't give? guess I must have forgotten? aiyo not sure lei.\" :lightrod: Though in my heart I wanted to :nunchuk: :nunchuk: what double standard :mad: :mad: Also it so happened that my friend kept asking for my support in her jewelry venture that I let her to do the jewelry for me. I thought that my cousin would get a special gift and I might as well kill 2 birds with one stone.
Another of my cousins is also getting married in this year. As I am closer to him than the other, I will play it safe and ask him what he wants. His mother didn't give me anything when they attended my wedding dinner hor.
Not that I'm calculative but having relatives like my aunts and uncles is really :slapshead: :faint: When my cousins were young and I was still single, e.g. I used to buy everyone of them new year's clothes for CNY every year while their parents never bought me anything not to mention buying things for my sons. That's why I felt so hurt when my aunt told me that my uncle's DW had in mind to call me to :rant: :rant: for not giving that ang pow which they expected. :sick: My aunt told me that she pacified her by playing down the issue. To think of it, probably my uncle's wife expects more from me cos I'm always generous lor.
My aunt didn't tell her that I've been giving her mother gifts every CNY or my uncle's DW will lagi :mad: that she didn't get the same treatment. This aunt of mine is very straightforward :xedfingers:
Now that I see their true colours, I :siam: :siam: :siam: -
My two-cents worth…for your male cousin who is getting married in a year’s time, just give MONEY. Wah…ha…ha!
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One of my husband's friend CNY visit us gave my maid $50 Ang Pow. :mad: :mad: I am so angry!!!!! this maid cause me so much problem. In Nov last year, I already plan to send her home after her loan paid off and she also wanted to go home. Waiting for CNY 15th day.
Why these people so kay kiang? This is his first time visiting us and he's never met my maid before, my maid also did not serve him drinks. :mad: -
st2:
One of my husband's friend CNY visit us gave my maid $50 Ang Pow. :mad: :mad: I am so angry!!!!! this maid cause me so much problem. In Nov last year, I already plan to send her home after her loan paid off and she also wanted to go home. Waiting for CNY 15th day.
Why these people so kay kiang? This is his first time visiting us and he's never met my maid before, my maid also did not serve him drinks. :mad:
I believe your friend is secretly more upset and angry for giving the wrong ang pow.
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weddings are getting more expensive…the amount of ang pao given is also dependent on level of closeness. a table at a hotel like Shangri-La or ritz is about $1k + but can’t possibly expect a couple to give $500 to cover host’s cost.
as for cny, i give $4 red packet to maids only. -
路人甲:
I believe your friend is secretly more upset and angry for giving the wrong ang pow.
Can't help but laughed.
Maybe it is the right ang pow for the maid to get ready to pack up :evil:
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