SAHP or working is better?

[mintcc]

smurf:

another arrangement: put the child in full time childcare (not those expensive kind), mum does chores during the day, kid goes back after 5pm...and mum then can teach the child? how about that? good?

Sounds like a good plan. Kids learn in school too and Mum less stress. Me dreaming of the day I do something like that, hee.

[KSP]

While I must agree that there is no gaurantee that a SAHM will produce a child with fantastic result, she will definitely have more time to monitor the child so that there will not be too much hanky panky.


SAHM is the path that cannot be measured with how good the child’s result versus the $$ that had been sarificed. That usually will not quate. The decision have to come from the couple and the whatever the final outcome (child’s result or character) there is no return and you have to accept it.

[jedamum]

KSP:

SAHM is the path that cannot be measured with how good the child's result versus the $$ that had been sarificed. That usually will not quate. The decision have to come from the couple and the whatever the final outcome (child's result or character) there is no return and you have to accept it.

:goodpost:

[Blobbi]

jedamum:

KSP:

SAHM is the path that cannot be measured with how good the child's result versus the $$ that had been sarificed. That usually will not quate. The decision have to come from the couple and the whatever the final outcome (child's result or character) there is no return and you have to accept it.

:goodpost:

Agree wholeheartedly!

[minnie2004]

skunk:

tamarind:

Learning at home is effective only if mommy can make it fun and enjoyable for the child.

I agree with everything u have said, except this point.

Learning/studying is dead serious business...if it's \"fun and enjoyable\" all the time, then we would all be scholars lol....sometimes it really isn't fun, and TV and computer games are more enjoyable...and if both parent and child understand this and approach it with a more stoic and pragmatic attitude, I believe it would be more sustainable.

Thus, sometimes, some scolding might be necessary....of course, i agree that mommy can't be screaming at the kid all the time....

It is actually possible to make study fun for the kids, but it takes a lot of efforts to think of something \"fun\" and \"new\" each time. I try to mix up games with homework. e.g. when my DH correctly writes a Chinese character (from a ting xie list), I'll reward her a letter (alphabet) from a box. If she fails, I'll take one. At the end, we'll use the letters we each collected and make words. The one who makes the most words win. By doing so, I've done both Chinese & Eng for the day without making her feel forced. Sometimes she even asks me to give her more Chinese words to write so she can earn more letters!

When it comes to piano, I'll make up a story linking all the songs she has learned and do a musical. When she plays, me and DS will either sing along or dance. The difficult part is I always have to come up with some fresh ideas to keep her interested. :idea:

I've tried yelling & screaming before, and believe me, it doesn't work. Only resulted in sore throat for me. Also, I don't want to force her too much as she's still young. When I was her age, I really didn't do anything except play.

[smurf]

KSP:

While I must agree that there is no gaurantee that a SAHM will produce a child with fantastic result, she will definitely have more time to monitor the child so that there will not be too much hanky panky.

hmm, I dun quite agree leh. the 2nd example: the gal's mum look after her children, and yet, the gal can go out in the middle of the nite to meet 3 guys ALONE. the father was so mad until he fainted. I mean, what can a gal do with 3 guys alone?? luckily, the grandma saw that the gal was trying to escape and hence informed the parents (they stay together).

and no, they are not considered rich. just average.

[foreverj]

KSP:

While I must agree that there is no gaurantee that a SAHM will produce a child with fantastic result, she will definitely have more time to monitor the child so that there will not be too much hanky panky.


SAHM is the path that cannot be measured with how good the child's result versus the $$ that had been sarificed. That usually will not quate. The decision have to come from the couple and the whatever the final outcome (child's result or character) there is no return and you have to accept it.

while i m no FT SAHM, i've chosen to sacrifice my career to be around for my dd. i remember when i saw my peers climbing up the corp ladder and getting good bonuses and all, i told dh that for me, my payout wil probably come in another 20 yrs time when dd graduates. he agreed.

when dd got the kumon bronze award end last yr, he joked that this could be my KPI - something that is measurable haha. but of course, deep down, we know its never a fair measure. whether dd gets good results, to me, is inconsequential cos i think i reaped much more happiness from being with her, enjoying her laughter and stories abt her day, spending quality time with her doing the little things like taking bus, going to library on weekdays etc. things that most FTWM wil have little energy to do after a hard day's work and political battling in the office :love:

[foreverj]

mummy of 2:

foreverj:

as for maids - worse. they probably quite heck-care although i've seen domestic maids being very attached to the children and care and love them very much. but stil, again, not much discipline. they likely just want the children to love them back.

I totally agree. My previous maid was very attached to my kids, esp DD2. To the extent that she tried to stop us from disciplining DD2. That happened a few days before her contract ended. I did not say anything as i thought it was poitnless. But I knew we could not let her continue working for us again, unless we want DD2 to become a spoilt brat :stupid:

yup, this is always a struggle. but i'm wondering if this is something that a stringent selection process for the right maid can solve. i've met a very \"high-class\" maid working for caucasians bring the dd for classes and she is firm with the kid too. guess it's a matter of \"pay peanuts, get monkeys\" lor. my dh's expat colleague actually hired a nanny back from her native country to bring to spore when she delivered. the nanny is gentle and loving to the infant and looks very well-bred. but of course i only had like five to ten min interaction with these people. dunno whether got other underlying problems???

[csc]

KSP:

SAHM is the path that cannot be measured with how good the child's result versus the $$ that had been sarificed. That usually will not quate. The decision have to come from the couple and the whatever the final outcome (child's result or character) there is no return and you have to accept it.

Agree with you, KSP.

The decision to stop work should not be based on academic excellence alone. Otherwise, it will be very disppointing if our children do not meet our expectations and then our poor kids will have to shoulder the blame - like \"I've sacrificed my career for you and look at your results! How can yours be worse than ABC whose parents work round the clock??\"

Or worse, if it comes from the sole-bread winner of the family.
\"You stay at home, also cannot teach your child well. Don't know what you do at home. Look at our neighbour, the parents came back late every night - the child can still get into gifted program. i think, you better get back to work lah!\"

The motive should be based on our love for our kids and what is best for the family . I think this should be spelt out clearly between the parents before taking that plunge - otherwise - it may be a point of contention in future.

Love is being sacrificial - but I don't think there's a need to keep harping on it. We love our children the way they are - even if their results are unbearable to look at and even if their behaviours hurt us after all those years of 'training'. I believe whether the parents are working or not, they are not solely responsible for how their children turn out .

Having said that, as parents, we need to do our part, to be their provider and protector till they are independent and mature enough to do so on their own one day. We concentrate on doing our part well. JMHO. :lol:

[KSP]

I have to say not all mother is the best mentor for their children The couple or the mother herself need to do some self evaluation (must be true to herself) to see is she the best mentor to guide the kid at home. I know there were some mothers after being a SAHM for 2-3yrs they decided to go back to work. They used the money they earn and send their kids to top tuition/enrichment classes (~2k a month per child) to make sure they get the best guidance.