All About Full-Time Maids
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i am very shock to see the video. The poor little girl. I feel like crying for her and her mummy. I do hope she did not suffer any internal injury from all the abuse. What we see here is clearly criminal and the maid should go to jail for what she did.
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quixation:
That is the one of the saddest things I have ever had to watch. The maid is probably unhappy about having to bring the kid to toilet. She will be found and severely punished for what she did.i stop the tape after watching the first kick.. Can someone pls assist to nap this women!!!!!!!!
How can anyone do that to a child!!!!!!!!!!!! Poor baby!!! she just trying to walk away!!!!... -
I am appalled by what I saw… The maid at one moment was standing on the girl’s back after she fell down to the floor from the kick she received from the maid.
I hope she gets jail and the rotan for causing physical harm to a poor defenseless girl :x -
Yeah, the maid was very cruel!! :x Be careful with maids, some of them are very ‘sweet’ in front of us, but at our back they treats our children badly.
One day when I went to fetch my son from his school, I saw one of maid scolding the boy that she fetched. The kid just asked for water from his bottle. And somemore, she pinched the boy at his palm. Very smart maid, coz if she pinched on other part of the boy’s body, it will cause mark for the parents to notice. The boy just cried quitely, did not complaint anything… Maybe he is already used to that kind of treatment. Poor boy, if I know his parents, definetely I will tell them :x -
Maid has to be single out, given a harsh punishment and blacklist.
Poor little girl, it must be nightmare for her everyday. -
I had goosebumps after the maid's first reaction!
Remained that way as i watched it again and again
for a clearer picture.. It was like the devil got into
the maid, boy! Cos the last part after the child remove
her pants, the maid readily brought her to the toilet
aniwaes.. It's a wonder ( and to my amazement ) that
the child didn't just pee in her pants during the whole
ordeal! BUUUUTTT!!! Had that happened it, the child
could have got a lot worse than the kungfu-fighting
kicks!
I shared the video with hubs and he scoffed at it, then
said, \"So....... ya still wanna get a maid and go back to
work, huh? Up to you...\"
I shared with my IL's and they said...
FIL : \"Is this in Singapore?\"
MIL : \"This is what we can see and now have seen...\"
MIL : \"What about those unseen and unknown...? God.. help them..\"
Lastly, I shared with my kiddies and they said...
P2 : \"Is that the mom? Can report police ya know...\"
P2 : \"We learnt about family abuse and violence in school...\"
K2 : \"Oh mummy, so poor thing the baby... is she the same age as me?\"
K2 : \"Where's the mummy? Is that a maid or a teacher from childcare?\"
Soooo... abt the going back to work part..... hmmmm.....
:? -
KS_me:
Heyya KS_me,My friend just email this link to me
http://multimedia.asiaone.com/Multimedia/Vodcast/Multimedia/Story/A1Multimedia20090402-6319.html
To my horror to watch this clips!!! I feel like taking the \"parang\" and slash the maid into pieces!!! :x :x :x :x
Thanks for sharing the video.
And no... pls dun slash or harbour
such thoughts, or you'd be in for it
with her... I agree with you, it IS
horrific and very very sad to watch
the ordeal. I feel for the child and
the parents. Poor children to be
under such care..
Hope the maid gets black listed
after her sentence... It's horrifying
to imagine if she may come back and
work for one of us! The face not so clear.
God help us.... it's a child she was torturing,
and for just trying to answer nature's call...
Btw, KS_me... your smiley very cute. Boxing seems
an apt timing while sharing the maid link. Makes me
feel like working out the punches... so fuming to watch. -
Buds,
at least ur hub support u of NOT working to look after your children. hahha. for me, I prefer to look after the kids (as I dun have reliable helper), but so far, I dun have any support from relatives, mum or even hub (even after watching the video, he just shrugged and think that ONLY one such maid would abuse kids there are still plenty of VERY GOOD maids out there).
people seems to think that $ is the most important thing, and that I'm wasting my degree to take care of kids. -
Latest News
http://www.dailyexpress.com.my/news.cfm?NewsID=52426
Abuse by maid caught on camera
Kuala Lumpur: A young couple consider themselves lucky to have secretly installed a webcam in their condominium which caught their Indonesian maid abusing their three-year-old daughter.
The camera caught the maid kicking the child so hard that she was sent sprawling to the floor. When the child got up, the maid grabbed her by the hand and started kicking her again repeatedly. Again, she was sent sprawling like a rag doll.
Like a woman possessed, the maid repeatedly stomped on the girl's frail body. She stopped after a while, but continued stomping on the girl moments later. But it could have been a different story if the couple had not had the presence of mind to make the recording.
When confronted, the 18-year-old maid allegedly tried to jump off the couple's fourth floor condominium balcony, prompting a cleaner to call the police.
When the cops arrived, she told them that she had been assaulted by the couple. Police then hauled the employers, their children and the maid to the Sentul police station for questioning.
The couple spent hours explaining what had happened, and it was during questioning that they produced the footage to back up their claim that their daughter had been abused. The couple, who had been married for three years, also claimed that the maid had abused their year-old son as well.
They lodged a report on the alleged abuse.
The couple had told police that they had installed the webcam two weeks ago after their daughter frequently complained of stomach pain.
When they asked the maid, she allegedly told them that it could be because the girl took too much yogurt drinks.
Suspicious, the couple decided to install a webcam on the personal computer in the living room. In the first week, they caught the maid abusing their youngest. They confronted her and warned her not to repeat it. But, she did it again - this time, the couple's three-year-old girl was the target. Before they could lodge a complaint with the authorities, the maid turned the tables around.
When police arrived after being alerted by the cleaner, the maid told police that she had been assaulted. The maid sustained injuries to the head and several other parts of her body. She was sent to Kuala Lumpur Hospital. Police are investigating whether the injuries had been self-inflicted. The maid, in her police report, had claimed that the couple was responsible for the injuries.
The maid allegedly involved in the abuses had been working with them for more than a year. The husband declined to give the media access to the footage of the alleged incident.
\"We are afraid of the impact it might have on the children. We are sorry,\" he said. The wife said she did not know if they would get a maid after the episode. \"There are those lucky enough to get good maids, and there are those who are not as fortunate,\" she said.
Kuala Lumpur CID chief senior Assistant Commissioner II Ku Chin Wah confirmed that police were investigating both reports. He said police have also retrieved the recordings from the couple. \"We are also investigating the maid's claim that the couple had inflicted injuries on her with a weapon,\" he said. The maid has been remanded. -
It happened in Kuala Lumpur, which is worst because the maid can easily find her way to Singapore ! There will be no records of her at all and she cannot be blacklisted here.
My advise to all mommies, please put your kids before your career ! I know many mommies say they have no choice, but they do have a choice. You can live with no luxuries, but at least your kids are safe. I recently read an article about 2 girls who grew up with no income after their father died, since their mother is unable to work. They depend entirely on financial assistance from the government. The older girl is planning to go into university. Nobody will starve in Singapore.
The truth is that many people complain that it is very expensive to raise kids in Singapore, that is why both daddy and mommy have to work. That is because they want to send their kids to the most expensive schools and enrichment classes. Is this really more important than the safety of their kids ? I spend less than $200(after government subsidy) for 2 kids in PCF kindergarten !
In my case, I am fortunate that my parents agree to live with me, and they help to supervise the maid at all times. It means that we have to sacrifice our privacy, but it is a small price to pay.
If you have no one to supervise the maid at home, please put your kids in infant care and child care. -
smurf:
One maid ?Buds,
at least ur hub support u of NOT working to look after your children. hahha. for me, I prefer to look after the kids (as I dun have reliable helper), but so far, I dun have any support from relatives, mum or even hub (even after watching the video, he just shrugged and think that ONLY one such maid would abuse kids there are still plenty of VERY GOOD maids out there).
people seems to think that $ is the most important thing, and that I'm wasting my degree to take care of kids.
Show him these webpages.
http://singaporemaidcomments.blogspot.com/2008/08/evangeline-panganiban-enopia-filipino.html
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=13554
smurf,
You are definitely not wasting your degree ! You are giving your children the best thing that they can ever have You can still go back to work after your kids grow up, right ?
buds,
Yes it is entirely possible that she finds an employer in Singapore. The sad thing is we cannot really see her face in the video. She can easily change her name, and get a new passport.
You are certainly doing the right thing staying at home. Your sacrifice is definitely worth it. -
Hi Tamarind,
Thank you for making me feel that I'm not wasting time looking after my kids.
yes, I saw that video quite some time ago and felt very sad. Guess what? I showed it to hub, and he just shrugged LOR as usual.
I read your blog before, made me think many many times (not just twice, thrice) to employ a maid. at a point of time, I couldn't handle 2 kids, especially when bb cries and elder throwing tantrum. sometimes, can be very frustrating, but I endure and bear with it. hoping that things will get better.
I feel very sad that the government doesn't do anything to prevent this kind of thing from happening. very sad that they are encouraging people to work and work and work just for the economy.
go back to work after kids bigger? hmm, not too sure leh, cos I did engineering deg, if no experience, people would rather hire freshise who just graduated from Uni, I guess? cheaper and younger. -
Hey smurf,
I have a Business Administration Degree from NUS and is also a stay home mum for the past 6 years with 2 gals and no maid, no parents or in laws’ help.Sometimes you question your own decision when you see other people who seem to have their cake and eat it.Let me assure you that the bonding that you get from your children makes it worthwhile.
If people “bug” you about wasting your degree,just smile and say that it is a privilege to stay home and be involved in your children’s life.Some will gasp,“But I really don’t know how you cope”,just smile and say you are coping fine and really don’t see a need for a maid.My girls are 3 and 6.Due to some changes in financial circumstances,I have to return to the workforce but will be putting kids in childcare.Can’t bear to but I tell myself I already built a solid foundation for the past 6 years and I am determined to juggle both work and motherhood to the best of my ability. -
tamarind:
I know many mommies say they have no choice, but they do have a choice. You can live with no luxuries, but at least your kids are safe.
I agree with what Tamarind said whole-heartedly, but I guess it may not apply readily to single parents - I know some of my friends who are divorced really have no choice since they don't qualify for financial aid.
Smurf, you are definitely not wasting time (and your degree) looking after your children. When they are young, mummy is such an integral part of their world - I imagine kids would much rather have mummy around than a helper.
For me, it was difficult to sacrifice my financial comfort to look after my kids, but when I hear all the horror stories about maids out there, i always think it's worth it. Many of my family and friends think I'm out of my mind to be a SAHM since I have two degrees; you should hear my MIL praising my SIL for being \"SO capable! Able to support herself and contribute to the family and not sponge off her husband\" while looking pointedly at me. :x :x
I get my revenge though, when my 2yo runs around spouting tang-shi while his cousin of the same age can barely walk and still calls everyone papa. :laugh:
Anyway, I think it's entirely possible to cope without maids. I get all my kids to do chores. Other than cooking, they help with almost everything: washing-up, laundry, packing their things away, dusting/vacuuming etc. You'd be surprised how much kids can accomplish! -
clarabella:
Many of my family and friends think I'm out of my mind to be a SAHM since I have two degrees; you should hear my MIL praising my SIL for being \"SO capable! Able to support herself and contribute to the family and not sponge off her husband\" while looking pointedly at me. :x :x
Wow! Sponge off huh... Harsh!
Out the left ear that goes......clarabella:
Tell me about it, girl!! That sure felt good, didn't it?I get my revenge though, when my 2yo runs around spouting tang-shi while his cousin of the same age can barely walk and still calls everyone papa. :laugh:
Patience is a virtue. It may take some time for
results as in all waiting & persevering instances,
but it sure feels so good in the end..
That sure must've shut everyone up real nice..
:celebrate:clarabella:
Yup! Hear hear!! And you'd be surprised too that you become a superAnyway, I think it's entirely possible to cope without maids. I get all my kids to do chores. Other than cooking, they help with almost everything: washing-up, laundry, packing their things away, dusting/vacuuming etc. You'd be surprised how much kids can accomplish!
efficient multi-tasker once you decide to start work again.. The years
of practise will pay off. Hehee.. You'll be one of those working mums
who work and manage household concurrently without much fuss...
And people around will go... :shock:
How'd you manage all that? -
smurf:
Hi Tamarind,
Thank you for making me feel that I'm not wasting time looking after my kids.
yes, I saw that video quite some time ago and felt very sad. Guess what? I showed it to hub, and he just shrugged LOR as usual.
I read your blog before, made me think many many times (not just twice, thrice) to employ a maid. at a point of time, I couldn't handle 2 kids, especially when bb cries and elder throwing tantrum. sometimes, can be very frustrating, but I endure and bear with it. hoping that things will get better.
I feel very sad that the government doesn't do anything to prevent this kind of thing from happening. very sad that they are encouraging people to work and work and work just for the economy.
go back to work after kids bigger? hmm, not too sure leh, cos I did engineering deg, if no experience, people would rather hire freshise who just graduated from Uni, I guess? cheaper and younger.
smurf,
I also have an engineering degree, what you wrote is true. It is very difficult to find a job after the age of 40. One option is to teach, either at polytechnics, primary/secondary schools, or private tuition which pays very well nowadays.
I myself also cannot handle babies and young kids. That is why I leave it to the expert, my mother ! My current maid is actually very good. But I still will not leave the kids alone with her. My hubby actually told me that I should work, because the kids will suffer if I stay at home to look after them :oops:
I do wish that the government provides better quality childcare, with more affordable fees.
clarabella,
Yes it is very difficult for mommies to sacrifice their financial comfort. My ex-colleague had $2 million in the bank (his father is rich), but his wife still insist to work. She wants the freedom to spend money. She has \"mountains\" of branded designer bags at home. But her daughter is left alone with the maid all day long. Are designer bags more important than spending time with her daughter ? They spent more than $2000 a month on the girl's pre-school, enrichment, but my ex-colleague was unhappy with her development, and his expectations were not even high. -
I agree…It is really a previlage staying at home with your children!
You would have read of me having so much problems with the maid and the agency. I am so relieve that i have repariate the maid. It has been a nightmare.
My hubby and me do everything ourselves now… we have a 4 YO and a pair of twins 18mths… Its all about teamwork for us.
Sometimes, we have people coming up to us in the mall and ask us how we manage without help?hahahaa.
well…The house gets a little messy…but who cares… my children are safe and we are happier. -
That is exactly what my mother expects of me. She wants me to have a career, and have children at the same time. I told her that I will have babies, only if she agrees to help me look after them.
The best arrangement is to have grandparents looking after the kids at home, either with or without the help of a maid. Then the mommy can have all the freedom to pursue her own career.
Many mommies are not as fortunate to have such support from their family members. If they still want to work full time, then they should not have any children at all, or have only one child which is easier to manage.
Even with no help from family members, the mommy can put the child in infant care or childcare. It is much better than leaving the child alone with a maid at home.
Employing a maid costs about $700 a month. For families with 2 or more kids, having a maid is definitely better than putting all the kids in childcare. Plus the maid can also do all the cooking, cleaning, so the mommy does not have to lift a finger. But they don’t realize that they are putting their kids at great risk. -
JHJC:
Good for you dear! :love:I agree....It is really a previlage staying at home with your children!
You would have read of me having so much problems with the maid and the agency. I am so relieve that i have repariate the maid. It has been a nightmare.
My hubby and me do everything ourselves now.. we have a 4 YO and a pair of twins 18mths... Its all about teamwork for us.
Sometimes, we have people coming up to us in the mall and ask us how we manage without help?hahahaa.
well...The house gets a little messy...but who cares.. my children are safe and we are happier.
Yes, different situations call for different measures.
Privilege aside, children are also our responsibility.
We must ensure they are in a safe and loved environment,
whether or not, we are full time working parents or stay
home ones. I'm very sure you're having a ball with your
twins now and much easier to care for when kiddies grow
bigger. Yes, support is very important. Very very happy to
know that you have such teamwork with your hubs and
children... not everyone has positive outlooks in life - like
making do with what we can... just like the house getting
a lil' wee bit messy being ok for you.
God bless that now our children are in safer hands. Yours...
Have a good Sunday, JHJC. :celebrate: -
insider:
If husband got money, then quite privilege aah..smurf:
go back to work after kids bigger? hmm, not too sure leh, cos I did engineering deg, if no experience, people would rather hire freshise who just graduated from Uni, I guess? cheaper and younger.
I for one will not approve of my daughter to stay at home nursing kids after she has her own one/s.
Life is so full of unforeseen circumstances with divorce, prematured death, retrenchment, bankruptcy, etc, etc, cropping up now and then throughout a marriage.
I expect my daughter to contribute to the society with whatever she has learnt (maybe with a chance of discovering a cure for an ailment), be financially independent, has a saving nest when she retires, etc, etc, after her marriage. It's too risky to be dependent on the spouse alone and I feel unfair to be burdening only on one person to bring back the bacon.
Giving kids the best is just part of life. I agree with the 'good enough parenting' theory. We can give some to our kids, but some must always be reserved for ourselves. We deserve a fulfilling life and that should not be centred only around our kids.
I will be dismay if in future:
1) my daughter chooses to be a SAHM and/or
2) my daughter-in-law chooses to be a SAHM.
Of course, that will still be up to them at their own risks/rewards...
If husband not so rich, but want us stay home with some pocket $$$,
still okay-okay... But if husband cannot cope, and we insist on staying
home... hmmmm... then mebbe can be quite burdensome on the man.
But if the situation calls for it - say... with presence of a special child...
or grandparents too old to care for lil' babies... cannot find good day
care for the child(ren)... or wife never worked her whole life... (etc)..
then whose to say we did not try..
Different situations call for different measures... Hehee.. Me like broken
recorder liao. Anyway, i do share insider's point of views as well in a way.
There are risks and rewards at the end of the day, from our early choices
in life. There are some that can be helped and some others unavoidable..
It can be a case of privilege versus responsibility too, in some scenarios.
As much as i don't approve of myself being a SAHM heheheh..
(since it wasn't exactly my ultimate choice then), i have had the best
and the worst experiences... which i am grateful for... cos there are
many pros and cons to it, which made life challenging that i learnt from..
By being at work, i may not have known what was in store for the SAHM
which my mother was (and had to be). Being a daddy's girl, the SAHM
experience brought me closer to my mom... :love: which i deeply
treasure. If i had continued with the decision to work full time no matter,
what the circumstances were (then), my relationship with my mom may
not have improved.. my understanding with my husband would not have
been great as it is today and i would forever be in the dark as to what
my IL's really were as people and parents... and finally, the kiddies may
have not get the attention they needed at a tender growing up stage, and
plus i may have had to spend a lot on their education as well..
Things have worked out fine for me, thanks to support from everyone
who was there for me, my dad in particular and then (slowly...) my hubs.
NOW, kiddies are bigger and i cannot wait to get the fulfilling life that i
deserve for myself and get to contribute to society too. Its great if we
can have a bit of both worlds, but most times the occasion is tough to
call for one. With the better relationship with everyone, i can begin to
pursue a career that was left behind some years ago... with greater
ease... - but i know it (SAHM years) has been worth it despite the
turbulences. Well, who doesn't have it once in a while, aye...
And like tamarind, if i were to place a maid in the house - the IL's can
now be my eyes when i am out at work. The maid can also help with
the mundane chores that i was stuck with doing so that now after work
i can still catch up on quality time with the kiddies, IL's and my hubs...
Life is full of unforeseen circumstances.. planning for it (future) is one
thing but being practical and living the life we can is another.. Hold both
if we can, but be happy nevertheless if we can't..
Just to add on to insider's view... i wish to share on the plight of an
acquaintance. Short one.
>Never worked before marriage. Nor after marriage either..
>Did complete Secondary education.. never pursue. Didn't see need to.
>2 children - a boy and a girl. Both in very gd schools. No tuition needed.
>Dad in property industry.. Did not prepare nest as expected.
>Heart attack killed dad.. Very very sudden..
>After funeral, family realised dad didn't have much savings..
>Not much investments but now house fully paid (thank god)
>Mum never worked her whole life.... so now how and where to start..
>No skills, no outside friends other than friends of the late husband's..
Cut story short, friends of husband's and a few relatives helped her pick
up the pieces which she never knew she had to undergo.. Works part-
time to support children's fees and pocket money. Kids also work part-
time giving tuition (being good students and all).. They are now doing
fairly fine and most importantly, still together and still happy..
The wives should have some savings part is very important but quite
an under-rated issue to date. Get umbrella ready before the rain..
Happy family is one thing... being left without money is another..
There are always 2 sides of the coin. These are the two in this
scenario we have been discussing..
Just for sharing..
Would love to hear from others as well..
More hands make lighter work they say..
More thoughts give wider perspectives..