All About Full-Time Maids
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It happened in Kuala Lumpur, which is worst because the maid can easily find her way to Singapore ! There will be no records of her at all and she cannot be blacklisted here.
My advise to all mommies, please put your kids before your career ! I know many mommies say they have no choice, but they do have a choice. You can live with no luxuries, but at least your kids are safe. I recently read an article about 2 girls who grew up with no income after their father died, since their mother is unable to work. They depend entirely on financial assistance from the government. The older girl is planning to go into university. Nobody will starve in Singapore.
The truth is that many people complain that it is very expensive to raise kids in Singapore, that is why both daddy and mommy have to work. That is because they want to send their kids to the most expensive schools and enrichment classes. Is this really more important than the safety of their kids ? I spend less than $200(after government subsidy) for 2 kids in PCF kindergarten !
In my case, I am fortunate that my parents agree to live with me, and they help to supervise the maid at all times. It means that we have to sacrifice our privacy, but it is a small price to pay.
If you have no one to supervise the maid at home, please put your kids in infant care and child care. -
smurf:
One maid ?Buds,
at least ur hub support u of NOT working to look after your children. hahha. for me, I prefer to look after the kids (as I dun have reliable helper), but so far, I dun have any support from relatives, mum or even hub (even after watching the video, he just shrugged and think that ONLY one such maid would abuse kids there are still plenty of VERY GOOD maids out there).
people seems to think that $ is the most important thing, and that I'm wasting my degree to take care of kids.
Show him these webpages.
http://singaporemaidcomments.blogspot.com/2008/08/evangeline-panganiban-enopia-filipino.html
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=13554
smurf,
You are definitely not wasting your degree ! You are giving your children the best thing that they can ever have
You can still go back to work after your kids grow up, right ?
buds,
Yes it is entirely possible that she finds an employer in Singapore. The sad thing is we cannot really see her face in the video. She can easily change her name, and get a new passport.
You are certainly doing the right thing staying at home. Your sacrifice is definitely worth it. -
Hi Tamarind,
Thank you for making me feel that I'm not wasting time looking after my kids.
yes, I saw that video quite some time ago and felt very sad. Guess what? I showed it to hub, and he just shrugged LOR as usual.
I read your blog before, made me think many many times (not just twice, thrice) to employ a maid. at a point of time, I couldn't handle 2 kids, especially when bb cries and elder throwing tantrum. sometimes, can be very frustrating, but I endure and bear with it. hoping that things will get better.
I feel very sad that the government doesn't do anything to prevent this kind of thing from happening. very sad that they are encouraging people to work and work and work just for the economy.
go back to work after kids bigger? hmm, not too sure leh, cos I did engineering deg, if no experience, people would rather hire freshise who just graduated from Uni, I guess? cheaper and younger.
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Hey smurf,
I have a Business Administration Degree from NUS and is also a stay home mum for the past 6 years with 2 gals and no maid, no parents or in laws’ help.Sometimes you question your own decision when you see other people who seem to have their cake and eat it.Let me assure you that the bonding that you get from your children makes it worthwhile.
If people "bug" you about wasting your degree,just smile and say that it is a privilege to stay home and be involved in your children’s life.Some will gasp,"But I really don’t know how you cope",just smile and say you are coping fine and really don’t see a need for a maid.My girls are 3 and 6.Due to some changes in financial circumstances,I have to return to the workforce but will be putting kids in childcare.Can’t bear to but I tell myself I already built a solid foundation for the past 6 years and I am determined to juggle both work and motherhood to the best of my ability. -
tamarind:
I know many mommies say they have no choice, but they do have a choice. You can live with no luxuries, but at least your kids are safe.
I agree with what Tamarind said whole-heartedly, but I guess it may not apply readily to single parents - I know some of my friends who are divorced really have no choice since they don't qualify for financial aid.
Smurf, you are definitely not wasting time (and your degree) looking after your children. When they are young, mummy is such an integral part of their world - I imagine kids would much rather have mummy around than a helper.
For me, it was difficult to sacrifice my financial comfort to look after my kids, but when I hear all the horror stories about maids out there, i always think it's worth it. Many of my family and friends think I'm out of my mind to be a SAHM since I have two degrees; you should hear my MIL praising my SIL for being \"SO capable! Able to support herself and contribute to the family and not sponge off her husband\" while looking pointedly at me. :x :x
I get my revenge though, when my 2yo runs around spouting tang-shi while his cousin of the same age can barely walk and still calls everyone papa. :laugh:
Anyway, I think it's entirely possible to cope without maids. I get all my kids to do chores. Other than cooking, they help with almost everything: washing-up, laundry, packing their things away, dusting/vacuuming etc. You'd be surprised how much kids can accomplish! -
clarabella:
Many of my family and friends think I'm out of my mind to be a SAHM since I have two degrees; you should hear my MIL praising my SIL for being \"SO capable! Able to support herself and contribute to the family and not sponge off her husband\" while looking pointedly at me. :x :x
Wow! Sponge off huh... Harsh!
Out the left ear that goes......clarabella:
Tell me about it, girl!! That sure felt good, didn't it?I get my revenge though, when my 2yo runs around spouting tang-shi while his cousin of the same age can barely walk and still calls everyone papa. :laugh:
Patience is a virtue. It may take some time for
results as in all waiting & persevering instances,
but it sure feels so good in the end..
That sure must've shut everyone up real nice..
:celebrate:clarabella:
Yup! Hear hear!! And you'd be surprised too that you become a superAnyway, I think it's entirely possible to cope without maids. I get all my kids to do chores. Other than cooking, they help with almost everything: washing-up, laundry, packing their things away, dusting/vacuuming etc. You'd be surprised how much kids can accomplish!
efficient multi-tasker once you decide to start work again.. The years
of practise will pay off. Hehee.. You'll be one of those working mums
who work and manage household concurrently without much fuss...
And people around will go... :shock:
How'd you manage all that? -
smurf:
Hi Tamarind,
Thank you for making me feel that I'm not wasting time looking after my kids.
yes, I saw that video quite some time ago and felt very sad. Guess what? I showed it to hub, and he just shrugged LOR as usual.
I read your blog before, made me think many many times (not just twice, thrice) to employ a maid. at a point of time, I couldn't handle 2 kids, especially when bb cries and elder throwing tantrum. sometimes, can be very frustrating, but I endure and bear with it. hoping that things will get better.
I feel very sad that the government doesn't do anything to prevent this kind of thing from happening. very sad that they are encouraging people to work and work and work just for the economy.
go back to work after kids bigger? hmm, not too sure leh, cos I did engineering deg, if no experience, people would rather hire freshise who just graduated from Uni, I guess? cheaper and younger.
smurf,
I also have an engineering degree, what you wrote is true. It is very difficult to find a job after the age of 40. One option is to teach, either at polytechnics, primary/secondary schools, or private tuition which pays very well nowadays.
I myself also cannot handle babies and young kids. That is why I leave it to the expert, my mother ! My current maid is actually very good. But I still will not leave the kids alone with her. My hubby actually told me that I should work, because the kids will suffer if I stay at home to look after them :oops:
I do wish that the government provides better quality childcare, with more affordable fees.
clarabella,
Yes it is very difficult for mommies to sacrifice their financial comfort. My ex-colleague had $2 million in the bank (his father is rich), but his wife still insist to work. She wants the freedom to spend money. She has \"mountains\" of branded designer bags at home. But her daughter is left alone with the maid all day long. Are designer bags more important than spending time with her daughter ? They spent more than $2000 a month on the girl's pre-school, enrichment, but my ex-colleague was unhappy with her development, and his expectations were not even high. -
I agree…It is really a previlage staying at home with your children!
You would have read of me having so much problems with the maid and the agency. I am so relieve that i have repariate the maid. It has been a nightmare.
My hubby and me do everything ourselves now… we have a 4 YO and a pair of twins 18mths… Its all about teamwork for us.
Sometimes, we have people coming up to us in the mall and ask us how we manage without help?hahahaa.
well…The house gets a little messy…but who cares… my children are safe and we are happier. -
That is exactly what my mother expects of me. She wants me to have a career, and have children at the same time. I told her that I will have babies, only if she agrees to help me look after them.
The best arrangement is to have grandparents looking after the kids at home, either with or without the help of a maid. Then the mommy can have all the freedom to pursue her own career.
Many mommies are not as fortunate to have such support from their family members. If they still want to work full time, then they should not have any children at all, or have only one child which is easier to manage.
Even with no help from family members, the mommy can put the child in infant care or childcare. It is much better than leaving the child alone with a maid at home.
Employing a maid costs about $700 a month. For families with 2 or more kids, having a maid is definitely better than putting all the kids in childcare. Plus the maid can also do all the cooking, cleaning, so the mommy does not have to lift a finger. But they don’t realize that they are putting their kids at great risk. -
JHJC:
Good for you dear! :love:I agree....It is really a previlage staying at home with your children!
You would have read of me having so much problems with the maid and the agency. I am so relieve that i have repariate the maid. It has been a nightmare.
My hubby and me do everything ourselves now.. we have a 4 YO and a pair of twins 18mths... Its all about teamwork for us.
Sometimes, we have people coming up to us in the mall and ask us how we manage without help?hahahaa.
well...The house gets a little messy...but who cares.. my children are safe and we are happier.
Yes, different situations call for different measures.
Privilege aside, children are also our responsibility.
We must ensure they are in a safe and loved environment,
whether or not, we are full time working parents or stay
home ones. I'm very sure you're having a ball with your
twins now and much easier to care for when kiddies grow
bigger. Yes, support is very important. Very very happy to
know that you have such teamwork with your hubs and
children... not everyone has positive outlooks in life - like
making do with what we can... just like the house getting
a lil' wee bit messy being ok for you.
God bless that now our children are in safer hands. Yours...
Have a good Sunday, JHJC. :celebrate:
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