All About Autism

[Double E]

Helplessmum

As for your husband, I am not sure what triggers his depression. He should seek help or you can get a social worker to speak to him. If is about getting a job, can try WDA or your MP, see they can help him match a suitable job.

[mashy]

Double E


Like I said, there are ups and downs. Just happy that overall he has been better. Now I’m wondering whether to get him exempted from Chinese before I run out of the excuse to do so.

[helplessmum3]

i still have to deal with my husband , i very stress… life is total meaningless to me…


jobs not ez to find…plus i oso need his support but yet not much … whenever my son meltdowns, i have to take care of my husband reaction. and he will too meltdown at the same time…

u know what i mean… example, my son make hell of noise like angry or so, i have toTo watch out for my husband tat he wont get affected . while I still struggling with my son situation… very tedious….
Or quickly pull my son away one corner, if my son co operate, if not once my husband lost control he will be very rough to my son, he will very very depress & act up.

i have to jagger both at the same time… u noe how stressful…

then i have to do housework & chores still have to work w my son…

if i have $ i can get maid, get my son more therapist, home tutor, go berries… i drive car and dun have to take bus… im very very tired…

my energy oso limited…

[mashy]

helplessmum3:

i still have to deal with my husband , i very stress.. life is total meaningless to me..


jobs not ez to find..plus i oso need his support but yet not much ... whenever my son meltdowns, i have to take care of my husband reaction. and he will too meltdown at the same time....

u know what i mean.. example, my son make hell of noise like angry or so, i have toTo watch out for my husband tat he wont get affected . while I still struggling with my son situation… very tedious….
Or quickly pull my son away one corner, if my son co operate, if not once my husband lost control he will be very rough to my son, he will very very depress & act up.

i have to jagger both at the same time... u noe how stressful...

then i have to do housework & chores still have to work w my son...

if i have $ i can get maid, get my son more therapist, home tutor, go berries... i drive car and dun have to take bus... im very very tired...

my energy oso limited..

Send your hb for counseling. Have a chat with him. It's important that he snap out of it, if not having a hb is just a burden. Since he's jobless and at home, get him to do the housework. Why are u doing these all by yourself? Is he violent?

U can also seek help at AWWA or any social welfare organization.

[lavendery]

Based on my own personal experience, its not easy asking a man to seek counseling. Cos guys usually cares a lot about "face".


Like wise my husband who is an aspie, he has meltdown too, shouting and kneel down and kowtowing on the floor. Sometimes i will be mean and threaten to take video and told him that i will upload in facebook to show all his colleagues. He has display lesser kowtowing symptoms since then.

But in return, he will have more patterns, such as body rocking, arm swinging and smearing nose mucus all over his arms and face.

If your husbands ever try to be violent, try talk calmly with him. If nothing works, perhaps you need to use the harder approach such as threatening to take video of him taking anger onto the poor child, perhaps it might works?

However i face lesser stress than you as i’m living seperately with him and i’m raising my girl myself.

[mashy]

lavendery:

Based on my own personal experience, its not easy asking a man to seek counseling. Cos guys usually cares a lot about \"face\".


Like wise my husband who is an aspie, he has meltdown too, shouting and kneel down and kowtowing on the floor. Sometimes i will be mean and threaten to take video and told him that i will upload in facebook to show all his colleagues. He has display lesser kowtowing symptoms since then.

But in return, he will have more patterns, such as body rocking, arm swinging and smearing nose mucus all over his arms and face.

If your husbands ever try to be violent, try talk calmly with him. If nothing works, perhaps you need to use the harder approach such as threatening to take video of him taking anger onto the poor child, perhaps it might works?

However i face lesser stress than you as i'm living seperately with him and i'm raising my girl myself.

Did u know that he's an aspie before u married him? I'm just wondering what it will take for a woman to wanna marry someone like our kids.

[jme]

Lavendery, u have been thru a lot. N I think u r one strong mummy :salute:

[jme]

Mashy, sorry for v late post n tx for your sharing on your son too

[Double E]

Lavendery

So sorry to hear about your husband’s condition. But I guess with him also being in the spectrum, he also can’t control what he is doing.

Sorry if I ask too much here. Are u aware that your hubby is an aspie before you marry him? If yes, I truely admire your courage to accept him with an open arm.

I do not have expectations of my boy finding a partner in future cos I know no woman will want to marry an ASD adult. I will be contented with him being able to be independent, earn a decent living on his own and have a few close friends whom he can go to. Actually, whenever I think about this, I will feel very sorry for my boy, he can’t have a family of his own and children like others. And since we parents will pass on before him, he will be quite lonely and only has his younger sister as next of kin. I hope his younger sister and her future husband and children will accept and love him as much as my husband and I, celebrate his birthday, have weekly dinners with him and invite him for family gatherings. Yes, whenever I think about these issues, I can’t help but tear.

Helplessmum
Agree with mashy. You need to have a good talk with your husband. If he doesn’t have the patient to help u take care of your son, he should help out with housework and leave you and your son alone.

[jme]

Helpless mum,

To be honest, I used to skip reading your posting as I thought u whine too much on how your son is not good at this or that and why u r put in this situation. I even wanted to post n ask u to snap out of it n to love your son for who he is n not what u want him to be. however, I feel for u now cos I know it is not easy to struggle alone with special need child along with financial difficulties. To help your son, u need to look after yourself well first. Please take care