All About Autism

[qui vive]

Dear Helplessmum


I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been having such a hard time and I do pray that things get better. Life is full of ups and downs and for many of us, more downs than ups. But we press on as there are people around us whom we love and depend on us. It’s hard but u’ve already come so far, well done and hang in there!

[Double E]

Mashy

Its so encouraging to read your post. I remember a few weeks ago you were still sharing the problems that your son faced but now, he seems to have over come it. Really remarkable and he’s like any NT kid. Yah, if you send him for diagnosis again, maybe the doc will say he has recovered.

I remembered my private psychologist told me about a case she handled. She said there’s this girl that she is seeing, after a few years, when she saw her again at 5 years old, she is like any NT kid, no one will think that she has ASD.

Helplessmum
Remember I said before some kids in Pathlight behave very normally? So don’t think of the worse. I know is hard not to fall into that depression mode cos I sometimes tend to think of the worse too when my boy is not performing up to my expectations or I hear not so good reviews from his therapist. But there’s no denying that he is improving. Its just that whenever he improves, I set the bar higher for him. Poor boy, he is forever trying to meet my expectations.

Like yesterday, I get him to do addition. I can see that he is trying to apply the method I taught him. He was able to get a few sums correct but then after a while, he seems a bit lost and couldn’t get the rest of the sums correct. I was angry with him, like "What’s wrong with you, you know it just now and now you don’t know?". But after I am more calm, I thought I was too harsh. He is only 3.5 years old and I expect him to know addition. I bet I don’t even know how to do it when I was 3.5 years old myself. I should be happy that at least he get a few of it correct if not all.

And today, he can spread his kaya on his bread more confidently. Previously, after scooping the kaya from the jar with a knife, he didn’t know how to turn the knife over and put the kaya on the bread. His sister just knows how to do it automatically. I have to teach him. After a week plus of trial, he now knows he need to turn the knife over to apply the kaya. Although still slow and clumsy, its ok, at least he gets the concept and when his hands are stronger, he will be able to do a better job.

So perhaps, u can think of what your son is capable of whenever he can’t meet your expectation, in that way, you will feel balanced.

[Double E]

Helplessmum

As for your husband, I am not sure what triggers his depression. He should seek help or you can get a social worker to speak to him. If is about getting a job, can try WDA or your MP, see they can help him match a suitable job.

[mashy]

Double E


Like I said, there are ups and downs. Just happy that overall he has been better. Now I’m wondering whether to get him exempted from Chinese before I run out of the excuse to do so.

[helplessmum3]

i still have to deal with my husband , i very stress… life is total meaningless to me…


jobs not ez to find…plus i oso need his support but yet not much … whenever my son meltdowns, i have to take care of my husband reaction. and he will too meltdown at the same time…

u know what i mean… example, my son make hell of noise like angry or so, i have toTo watch out for my husband tat he wont get affected . while I still struggling with my son situation… very tedious….
Or quickly pull my son away one corner, if my son co operate, if not once my husband lost control he will be very rough to my son, he will very very depress & act up.

i have to jagger both at the same time… u noe how stressful…

then i have to do housework & chores still have to work w my son…

if i have $ i can get maid, get my son more therapist, home tutor, go berries… i drive car and dun have to take bus… im very very tired…

my energy oso limited…

[mashy]

helplessmum3:

i still have to deal with my husband , i very stress.. life is total meaningless to me..


jobs not ez to find..plus i oso need his support but yet not much ... whenever my son meltdowns, i have to take care of my husband reaction. and he will too meltdown at the same time....

u know what i mean.. example, my son make hell of noise like angry or so, i have toTo watch out for my husband tat he wont get affected . while I still struggling with my son situation… very tedious….
Or quickly pull my son away one corner, if my son co operate, if not once my husband lost control he will be very rough to my son, he will very very depress & act up.

i have to jagger both at the same time... u noe how stressful...

then i have to do housework & chores still have to work w my son...

if i have $ i can get maid, get my son more therapist, home tutor, go berries... i drive car and dun have to take bus... im very very tired...

my energy oso limited..

Send your hb for counseling. Have a chat with him. It's important that he snap out of it, if not having a hb is just a burden. Since he's jobless and at home, get him to do the housework. Why are u doing these all by yourself? Is he violent?

U can also seek help at AWWA or any social welfare organization.

[lavendery]

Based on my own personal experience, its not easy asking a man to seek counseling. Cos guys usually cares a lot about "face".


Like wise my husband who is an aspie, he has meltdown too, shouting and kneel down and kowtowing on the floor. Sometimes i will be mean and threaten to take video and told him that i will upload in facebook to show all his colleagues. He has display lesser kowtowing symptoms since then.

But in return, he will have more patterns, such as body rocking, arm swinging and smearing nose mucus all over his arms and face.

If your husbands ever try to be violent, try talk calmly with him. If nothing works, perhaps you need to use the harder approach such as threatening to take video of him taking anger onto the poor child, perhaps it might works?

However i face lesser stress than you as i’m living seperately with him and i’m raising my girl myself.

[mashy]

lavendery:

Based on my own personal experience, its not easy asking a man to seek counseling. Cos guys usually cares a lot about \"face\".


Like wise my husband who is an aspie, he has meltdown too, shouting and kneel down and kowtowing on the floor. Sometimes i will be mean and threaten to take video and told him that i will upload in facebook to show all his colleagues. He has display lesser kowtowing symptoms since then.

But in return, he will have more patterns, such as body rocking, arm swinging and smearing nose mucus all over his arms and face.

If your husbands ever try to be violent, try talk calmly with him. If nothing works, perhaps you need to use the harder approach such as threatening to take video of him taking anger onto the poor child, perhaps it might works?

However i face lesser stress than you as i'm living seperately with him and i'm raising my girl myself.

Did u know that he's an aspie before u married him? I'm just wondering what it will take for a woman to wanna marry someone like our kids.

[jme]

Lavendery, u have been thru a lot. N I think u r one strong mummy :salute:

[jme]

Mashy, sorry for v late post n tx for your sharing on your son too