All About Autism
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Helpless mum, why suddenly feel so despair?
There will always be good and bad times. Life is never a bed of roses, even a rich man will feel down and face setbacks. Since u cannot change your son, u just hv to learn to accept him and make the best out of him. Furthermore, your kid is high functioning. With him attending rainbow soon, he will improve. U son has an edge over the other kids in the forum as he can engage with his peers. And furthermore, he is verbal. Hv u seen ASD kids who are nonverbal? It really breaks your heart cos they are unable to express themselves. It’s a blessing that your boy can talk and smart in many ways. Even NT kids need to be taught, just that our kids need more help.
Dun keep comparing your son with the best, in that way, u will feel better. -
Double e
I know mummies here has been telling me these already .
Just still feel so sad …
Thanks again
Just the down period …
Jus very tiered , helpless n yet …
I have to handle two. One ASD child , one depress n often meltdowns husband . -
Helplessmum
I hope that one day you will realize not to look at ASD individuals from a neurotypical perspective, but to look at them from their perspective.
In our perspective, they may have social impairment becos they can’t relate socially. In their perspective, they could be feeling happy without social attachment. So don’t judge things by what you see at the surface. ASD individuals are not intellectually handicapped, they just live life differently and have more difficulties becos we are forcing them to fit into our society norm.
This is about the third time that i hear you at this forum talking about dying or mummy n baby jumping to death, and its really unhealthy. Please seek professional help if you really need so. -
With all the talk about the psychologist's report, I read it again. I'm so happy that I read it again. This was a report 1 yr ago and I see so much improvement in my son since then. He has been able to better engage in conversation, better eye contact, better attn span etc.
His teacher said he's an angel in the class and he's helpful, offering to help the teacher to carry things and reminded her of things that she's supposed to tell the class. I would have thought he would ignore pp, but no, instead he was even offering help! I also heard from his classmate's mom that he helped his classmate with English coz that boy couldn't read very well.
Just yesterday, he asked me how I felt about a game that he was playing! He told me how he liked some of the power ups and asked for my opinion about them. This is the first that I can remember of him asking about how I feel about something. Yay yay yay!
Every year, I see his progress and I'm so proud of him. From being unable to talk and playing by himself, he has now learned to share his joy with others. He has also been able to make friends and tell me what happens in school. Previously, he couldn't tell me anything in school but now he can. He tells me about which classmate did what, how much they scored for a test and what he did during recess time. Also told me he shared a bowl of fish ball soup with his friend.
There are ups and downs in life. Some days are better than others. But if u look at the bigger picture, u see the overall progress. I wonder if the KKH CDU will now have to check if they made a misdiagnosis. Lol.
Helplessmum
I can only tell u that my son started off very much worse than yours. But now he has progressed so much over the years. don't lose heart. They need the time to grow too. U can't expect change overnight. Just like u can't expect a baby to suddenly turn into a teenager overnight. U have to allow time for them to grow. By and by, in a few years time, I hope to see that u are more joyful in your spirit. While we can be upset that why our sons are born like this, we can also see what they can become despite all these. -
Dear Helplessmum
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been having such a hard time and I do pray that things get better. Life is full of ups and downs and for many of us, more downs than ups. But we press on as there are people around us whom we love and depend on us. It’s hard but u’ve already come so far, well done and hang in there! -
Mashy
Its so encouraging to read your post. I remember a few weeks ago you were still sharing the problems that your son faced but now, he seems to have over come it. Really remarkable and he’s like any NT kid. Yah, if you send him for diagnosis again, maybe the doc will say he has recovered.
I remembered my private psychologist told me about a case she handled. She said there’s this girl that she is seeing, after a few years, when she saw her again at 5 years old, she is like any NT kid, no one will think that she has ASD.
Helplessmum
Remember I said before some kids in Pathlight behave very normally? So don’t think of the worse. I know is hard not to fall into that depression mode cos I sometimes tend to think of the worse too when my boy is not performing up to my expectations or I hear not so good reviews from his therapist. But there’s no denying that he is improving. Its just that whenever he improves, I set the bar higher for him. Poor boy, he is forever trying to meet my expectations.
Like yesterday, I get him to do addition. I can see that he is trying to apply the method I taught him. He was able to get a few sums correct but then after a while, he seems a bit lost and couldn’t get the rest of the sums correct. I was angry with him, like "What’s wrong with you, you know it just now and now you don’t know?". But after I am more calm, I thought I was too harsh. He is only 3.5 years old and I expect him to know addition. I bet I don’t even know how to do it when I was 3.5 years old myself. I should be happy that at least he get a few of it correct if not all.
And today, he can spread his kaya on his bread more confidently. Previously, after scooping the kaya from the jar with a knife, he didn’t know how to turn the knife over and put the kaya on the bread. His sister just knows how to do it automatically. I have to teach him. After a week plus of trial, he now knows he need to turn the knife over to apply the kaya. Although still slow and clumsy, its ok, at least he gets the concept and when his hands are stronger, he will be able to do a better job.
So perhaps, u can think of what your son is capable of whenever he can’t meet your expectation, in that way, you will feel balanced. -
Helplessmum
As for your husband, I am not sure what triggers his depression. He should seek help or you can get a social worker to speak to him. If is about getting a job, can try WDA or your MP, see they can help him match a suitable job. -
Double E
Like I said, there are ups and downs. Just happy that overall he has been better. Now I’m wondering whether to get him exempted from Chinese before I run out of the excuse to do so.
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i still have to deal with my husband , i very stress… life is total meaningless to me…
jobs not ez to find…plus i oso need his support but yet not much … whenever my son meltdowns, i have to take care of my husband reaction. and he will too meltdown at the same time…
u know what i mean… example, my son make hell of noise like angry or so, i have toTo watch out for my husband tat he wont get affected . while I still struggling with my son situation… very tedious….
Or quickly pull my son away one corner, if my son co operate, if not once my husband lost control he will be very rough to my son, he will very very depress & act up.
i have to jagger both at the same time… u noe how stressful…
then i have to do housework & chores still have to work w my son…
if i have $ i can get maid, get my son more therapist, home tutor, go berries… i drive car and dun have to take bus… im very very tired…
my energy oso limited… -
helplessmum3:
Send your hb for counseling. Have a chat with him. It's important that he snap out of it, if not having a hb is just a burden. Since he's jobless and at home, get him to do the housework. Why are u doing these all by yourself? Is he violent?i still have to deal with my husband , i very stress.. life is total meaningless to me..
jobs not ez to find..plus i oso need his support but yet not much ... whenever my son meltdowns, i have to take care of my husband reaction. and he will too meltdown at the same time....
u know what i mean.. example, my son make hell of noise like angry or so, i have toTo watch out for my husband tat he wont get affected . while I still struggling with my son situation… very tedious….
Or quickly pull my son away one corner, if my son co operate, if not once my husband lost control he will be very rough to my son, he will very very depress & act up.
i have to jagger both at the same time... u noe how stressful...
then i have to do housework & chores still have to work w my son...
if i have $ i can get maid, get my son more therapist, home tutor, go berries... i drive car and dun have to take bus... im very very tired...
my energy oso limited..
U can also seek help at AWWA or any social welfare organization.
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