All About Autism
-
Summer tan:
Hugz mummy.. Its a sad but brutal world. No one will understands what we are going through unless they have a special needs child like us.
That's why I feel it's very unfair sometimes. A bright and vocal boy like my son cannot go mainstream. I cannot imagine him going to pathlight school when he speaks so well. It's not as if he wants to hit friends. Yes i also don't want my child to be hit repeatedly which I will definitely complain to teachers and even the principal. but my son just couldn't control his anger. He doesn't even remember he does that at times.
If I'm the parent who is defensive and protective of my son then I have nothing to say. But I have tried so many ways, so many schools, therapy. Why can't parents of normal and quieter kids understand what people like me are going through.
I am one of those ignorant parent as well until my son is diagnose with ASD. We just have to be thick skin, stand firm and have faith!
Keep helping your son.. as time passes, he will improved.
Problem of why he is hitting other people could be because he is frustrated as he doesn't know how to socialize and tell his friends, so he acted out by hitting. I dun believe they hit just because they enjoy hitting. There must be something that he wanted but he find it hard to communicate with others, thats why he reacted by hitting.
What therapy is he attending right now? -
Summer tan:
Its okay to grieve from time to time. Most importantly is be strong for your son. Its a long journey and I believe it wont ends until the day we die.
Yes PDD-NOS diagnosed by Zhang Guiyue from JMC CDU.helplessmum3:
summer, even normal kids will act like your son. now.
for me the biggest challenge of ASD is their communication & comprehend skill.
have yr son got diagnosed already?
I just sat in the room and cried just now.
Stay strong. he is still young, all the interventions will help. *hugz* -
Thanks nugget.
He’s at eipic now. ECC. But I still feel that that place is not helping him with his behavioral and socialization problem.
Ya I even role play with him on what he should say and do when his friends took his toys or if they took the toy first. Thanks for your words, it suddenly rings to me that I should do that with him every day so that it gets into him. Then try it out at playground or elsewhere. -
Summer tan:
Summer Tan,Thanks nugget.
He's at eipic now. ECC. But I still feel that that place is not helping him with his behavioral and socialization problem.
Ya I even role play with him on what he should say and do when his friends took his toys or if they took the toy first. Thanks for your words, it suddenly rings to me that I should do that with him every day so that it gets into him. Then try it out at playground or elsewhere.
Its natural to feel what you felt. On and off I also felt angry and helpless or stuck! We just need to let off some steam. Usually I will consult the mummies here or just rant it out. You are not in this alone.
I feel the therapies and EIPIC helped my son. The results might not come immediately, it took at least 6 months before I start seeing improvements.
The other day I asked my son to \"close the toilet door\". He said \"I want to go toilet to wash my hands first, after I leave the room I will close the door\".
I was so so happy. Such simple words but it brings a smile to my face. First time he explain to me what he is doing and why he is doing it (why he open the toilet door). Keep talking and practising with them, one day they will surprise us. -
This world really duno our world
http://m.washingtonpost.com/local/autopsy-finds-that-md-man-with-down-syndrome-died-of-asphyxia-while-in-police-custody/2013/02/15/4d752304-77ab-11e2-b102-948929030e64_story.html
He died just because normal pp dun understand his world like -
Summer tan:
There is also a limit to tolerance. I think as parents, they may empathesize with you and feel sorry that you have to go through this. But nonetheless, it doesn't give your son a free passport to hit. I have no tolerance to violence maybe coz my ASD kid is the type to be bullied easily. He gets picked on easily because he is very small size and 'blur blur'.
That's why I feel it's very unfair sometimes. A bright and vocal boy like my son cannot go mainstream. I cannot imagine him going to pathlight school when he speaks so well. It's not as if he wants to hit friends. Yes i also don't want my child to be hit repeatedly which I will definitely complain to teachers and even the principal. but my son just couldn't control his anger. He doesn't even remember he does that at times.
If I'm the parent who is defensive and protective of my son then I have nothing to say. But I have tried so many ways, so many schools, therapy. Why can't parents of normal and quieter kids understand what people like me are going through.
Yes, practise everyday. Give him the correct words to say. Teach him an outlet when he gets angry. Teach him a sport. ADHD children benefit greatly from sports. Get him to do some work and expend his energy before he starts school. Let him carry a heavy bag on his shoulder. My Boy's OT said pressure can calm down a person when he's too excited. And she suggested bean bags because it gives pressure to the whole body. U can also look at fish oil which is good for concentration.
Is he the only child? -
Summer tan:
Yes mashy, in fact some parents at pcf already stopped talking to me already. The problem is we don't know how to resolve that. We tried many ways both soft n hard but it's still the same. Can u imagine how stress I am everyday seeing the parents and the way they looked at my son? Even if it's a short 4 hours my mind is constantly on how my son behaves. Fetching him from school is worst for me. So if the mainstream cannot accept him then I seriously don't know what to do. Maybe I'll jump down from the building.
Summer tan, there are quite a few issues that you are dealing with at the same time. I wonder whether you yourself are feeling overly stretched, stressed and maybe even burnt out?
If you are feeling this way its only natural. As parents we also need time to self-heal and seek closures when such things happen. If you can find some alternative arrangements to take care of your child for a while, it may be good to just take a short break from all the chaos and level yourself back again.
Not that the problems will go away, but at least you would be calmer and clearer-minded to deal with the issues.
Dont despair. Its tough but its not the end of the world. -
Summer tan:
If I may, do keep an open mind about whether its mainstream or PL at this juncture, especially since your child is still young.
That's why I feel it's very unfair sometimes. A bright and vocal boy like my son cannot go mainstream. I cannot imagine him going to pathlight school when he speaks so well. It's not as if he wants to hit friends. Yes i also don't want my child to be hit repeatedly which I will definitely complain to teachers and even the principal. but my son just couldn't control his anger. He doesn't even remember he does that at times.
If I'm the parent who is defensive and protective of my son then I have nothing to say. But I have tried so many ways, so many schools, therapy. Why can't parents of normal and quieter kids understand what people like me are going through.
I tend to think that as parents our decisions for our children should be based on the best interests of the child, and not what we expect them to be. If PL is able to provide a better support system for the ASD child to excel, then there is really nothing unfair about in sending the child to PL. I am certain there is a fair share of bright and vocal kids at PL, and they are there because they want to have a fair opportunity to access the education system, but with better infrastructural support. In fact, after I went to PL's open house last year, I came away with the impression that PL could be even more competitive than some of the neighbourhood mainstream schools.
Whether its PL or mainstream, none is higher or lower than the other, and they have their fair share of ups and downs and good and bad. Maybe if you try to think in this way, it may help to ease your stress for a while.
My two cents worth and hope this helps. -
ImMeeMee:
Mainstream is not the only option and its still 2 years away. So why fret now? Even if he can't go mainstream, it's not the end of the world. Didn't u read about the very bright asd kid who did very well in path light? I think we just try what we can to bring out the best in our children. The rest is beyond us. Even if u don't succeed, don't beat up yourself. I'm sure u did your best like any parent did for their children. Does he learn music? Music has a way to calm down the spirits too.Summer tan:
Yes mashy, in fact some parents at pcf already stopped talking to me already. The problem is we don't know how to resolve that. We tried many ways both soft n hard but it's still the same. Can u imagine how stress I am everyday seeing the parents and the way they looked at my son? Even if it's a short 4 hours my mind is constantly on how my son behaves. Fetching him from school is worst for me. So if the mainstream cannot accept him then I seriously don't know what to do. Maybe I'll jump down from the building.
Summer tan, there are quite a few issues that you are dealing with at the same time. I wonder whether you yourself are feeling overly stretched, stressed and maybe even burnt out?
If you are feeling this way its only natural. As parents we also need time to self-heal and seek closures when such things happen. If you can find some alternative arrangements to take care of your child for a while, it may be good to just take a short break from all the chaos and level yourself back again.
Not that the problems will go away, but at least you would be calmer and clearer-minded to deal with the issues.
Dont despair. Its tough but its not the end of the world.
My cousin was a violent kid and his parents was called to school very often. He is impulsive and easy to anger. But last time these conditions were not known and he went through the system like others. Didn't do very well in studies but he somehow matured and bloomed in his teenage years. He became a Christian and found what his passion is. He mellowed a lot and now speak politely to others. So don't give up. Your son probably need some time and help. It can get better. -
nugget:
summer tan, I tend to agree with nugget that there may be some underlying issues that is manifesting as hitting friends. As for specifically what issues are these, perhaps an OT can help to advise? Would the EIPIC team be able to shed some light as well?
Hugz mummy.. Its a sad but brutal world. No one will understands what we are going through unless they have a special needs child like us.
I am one of those ignorant parent as well until my son is diagnose with ASD. We just have to be thick skin, stand firm and have faith!
Keep helping your son.. as time passes, he will improved.
Problem of why he is hitting other people could be because he is frustrated as he doesn't know how to socialize and tell his friends, so he acted out by hitting. I dun believe they hit just because they enjoy hitting. There must be something that he wanted but he find it hard to communicate with others, thats why he reacted by hitting.
What therapy is he attending right now?
Take heart, and slowly one step at a time. ICCP has trained teachers so they are likely to be able to empathize with your son's issues to start with.
Stay positive and dont give up. :hugs:
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login
Online Users
Recent Topics
Statistics
