All About Autism
-
I don’t understand . Ur progress like what ?
Example of sentence pls .
So ur status as classmate parent talking to special needs parents ?
Are u a school principal ? -
slmkhoo:
It's not just controlling yourself, but it's good to find an alternative reaction. Can you identify what triggers you to shout, and then find another way to handle your son? For me, I used to shout a lot, then trained myself to take a couple of deep breaths, look my daughter in the eye and tell her firmly to stop whatever it was she was doing to annoy me. If she didn't, I would then tell her what the penalty would be (mostly time out), give the instruction again, then impose the penalty if she didn't stop. I ran those scenarios over and over again in my mind to 'train' myself (like social stories!) so that I would be able to carry it out the next time. Maybe you can try this.
good one, slmkhoo.
Now that you point it out, I realize that for situations where I am anxious about, I do go through in my mind about the possible scenarios and the appropriate responses to those scenarios. Are these not social stories?
In a way, we as NT individuals do employ the same strategies when managing ourselves and our emotions. So actually the way we deal with ASD children is the same, except that we have to augment certain things and bring them out more prominently into the consciousness. -
ImMeeMee:
For me, in my attempt to stay firm, I ended up raising my voice inevitably and sometimes, resort to hitting him on the hand and buttock.slmkhoo:
It's not just controlling yourself, but it's good to find an alternative reaction. Can you identify what triggers you to shout, and then find another way to handle your son? For me, I used to shout a lot, then trained myself to take a couple of deep breaths, look my daughter in the eye and tell her firmly to stop whatever it was she was doing to annoy me. If she didn't, I would then tell her what the penalty would be (mostly time out), give the instruction again, then impose the penalty if she didn't stop. I ran those scenarios over and over again in my mind to 'train' myself (like social stories!) so that I would be able to carry it out the next time. Maybe you can try this.
good one, slmkhoo.
Now that you point it out, I realize that for situations where I am anxious about, I do go through in my mind about the possible scenarios and the appropriate responses to those scenarios. Are these not social stories?
In a way, we as NT individuals do employ the same strategies when managing ourselves and our emotions. So actually the way we deal with ASD children is the same, except that we have to augment certain things and bring them out more prominently into the consciousness.
It certainly takes lots of patience to handle children and even more so for our special kids. -
From my experience working with children with special needs, here was what I did...
When I was told that I had to work with special children, I first confronted my employer that I wasn't properly trained to do so. As an educator, I felt that my time with the children will be more meaningful if I could help them. I didn't know if I could with special needs children. As an employee, I was never given a choice as to whom I had to work with.. nevertheless, I went to work with an open mind.
I didn't realize how challenging it was going to be. Each time I thought the challenges were hard enough, more difficult ones showed up. The fact is that I was not special-needs trained. Due to the environment of the Montessori Method, the children are usually independent and they can take instructions fairly well once adjusted to the routine. However, with some special-needs children they had a mind of their own. I formed many social stories in my mind for the different scenarios that I could pre-empt but still I found myself at a block some times.
For mild special-needs the meltdowns were mallow and the children slightly easier to coax and pacify. But I have had materials thrown at me till I was injured when I was told to work with the more extreme cases. There were some cases that were not declared.
In the Montessori environment where directresses are encouraged only positive responses when working with children, it seemed that the usual tact and gentle instruction or reminders may not work the same way for special-needs children. Throughout the many engagements with special-needs children of varying types and of different spectrums and also normal children, I learnt one important thing. Whether they are special-needs or normal functioning children, they all responded to the warmth of love and care. They can sense.. they can tell if someone is genuine, or just putting up appearances.
I persevered to work things differently as I tried different ways to handle those sparks within me. I am a directress but I am also human and we can be pushed over the edge sometimes. However, it is how we deal with it that is important. How we come back to it.. and try to keep at it, each time it seems to sizzle inside..
The next time I was faced with a child with a meltdown, I softly touched his/her arm. I'd say, \"I love you. I'm going to hug you now..\" During the embrace, I continue to affirm the child by saying I love you. Then comes the explanation. For example, \"I love you. You know I do. But I am sad.. sad because this is not nice.\" I re-emphasize the same thing but this time looking into the child's eyes. \"Toys are for playing. It hurts when it is thrown on my head. It does. (rubbing my head) It is not nice but I still love you and now after you hug me again.. tightly.. we will continue to play together again, yes?\"
It took time for this to work, depending on the child I was working with. However, this way took my anger way faster while I run through the social stories I have prepared in my mind to continue what I wanted to say. For the children who were not very verbal yet, and they normally use facial cards - with expressions.. I would point to the expression at the moment. I will reiterate whether I was happy or sad or even at times angry. However, as educators we naturally can't yell or scold the child endlessly but during angry moments, the words will be short, yet firm/curt to display the effect of the seriousness of the matter.
I am just sharing what eventually though slowly worked for me.. even now with my own children. When any of them acts up or if one shouts/hits another sibling.. I'd start with the gentle stroke on the arm, tell them I'm going to hug them (some children might resist initially) and tell them we love them.. a few times.. and later the explanation. It takes a lot of me to do this especially when I have to work with all four of them in one room at the same time (my own kids la) but it is encouraging when I see my elder son stroke his baby brother so gently and say \"I love you, baby... but cannot throw ok... it's painful. My trains will spoil. No battery.\" He meant, if the trains are thrown on the floor there won't be any sound on his trains. He is right about that. Then, he will hug the baby with my help because at this time he doesn't know how to do it gently and tends to fall on or fall over the baby instead. So he will tell me, \"Mommy, I hug baby.\" That would be my cue to help him hug.
I am merely sharing and not sure if it may work with you or your children but like they say, never doubt the power of love. The warmth of love of a parent or educator can be felt whether or not the child can tell you it did.
Wishing all of you a good weekend ahead. :grphug: -
:lovesite:
Thanks for sharing! -
buds:
Thanks for sharing :goodpost:From my experience working with children with special needs, here was what I did...
When I was told that I had to work with special children, I first confronted my employer that I wasn't properly trained to do so. As an educator, I felt that my time with the children will be more meaningful if I could help them. I didn't know if I could with special needs children. As an employee, I was never given a choice as to whom I had to work with.. nevertheless, I went to work with an open mind.
I didn't realize how challenging it was going to be. Each time I thought the challenges were hard enough, more difficult ones showed up. The fact is that I was not special-needs trained. Due to the environment of the Montessori Method, the children are usually independent and they can take instructions fairly well once adjusted to the routine. However, with some special-needs children they had a mind of their own. I formed many social stories in my mind for the different scenarios that I could pre-empt but still I found myself at a block some times.
For mild special-needs the meltdowns were mallow and the children slightly easier to coax and pacify. But I have had materials thrown at me till I was injured when I was told to work with the more extreme cases. There were some cases that were not declared.
In the Montessori environment where directresses are encouraged only positive responses when working with children, it seemed that the usual tact and gentle instruction or reminders may not work the same way for special-needs children. Throughout the many engagements with special-needs children of varying types and of different spectrums and also normal children, I learnt one important thing. Whether they are special-needs or normal functioning children, they all responded to the warmth of love and care. They can sense.. they can tell if someone is genuine, or just putting up appearances.
I persevered to work things differently as I tried different ways to handle those sparks within me. I am a directress but I am also human and we can be pushed over the edge sometimes. However, it is how we deal with it that is important. How we come back to it.. and try to keep at it, each time it seems to sizzle inside..
The next time I was faced with a child with a meltdown, I softly touched his/her arm. I'd say, \"I love you. I'm going to hug you now..\" During the embrace, I continue to affirm the child by saying I love you. Then comes the explanation. For example, \"I love you. You know I do. But I am sad.. sad because this is not nice.\" I re-emphasize the same thing but this time looking into the child's eyes. \"Toys are for playing. It hurts when it is thrown on my head. It does. (rubbing my head) It is not nice but I still love you and now after you hug me again.. tightly.. we will continue to play together again, yes?\"
It took time for this to work, depending on the child I was working with. However, this way took my anger way faster while I run through the social stories I have prepared in my mind to continue what I wanted to say. For the children who were not very verbal yet, and they normally use facial cards - with expressions.. I would point to the expression at the moment. I will reiterate whether I was happy or sad or even at times angry. However, as educators we naturally can't yell or scold the child endlessly but during angry moments, the words will be short, yet firm/curt to display the effect of the seriousness of the matter.
I am just sharing what eventually though slowly worked for me.. even now with my own children. When any of them acts up or if one shouts/hits another sibling.. I'd start with the gentle stroke on the arm, tell them I'm going to hug them (some children might resist initially) and tell them we love them.. a few times.. and later the explanation. It takes a lot of me to do this especially when I have to work with all four of them in one room at the same time (my own kids la) but it is encouraging when I see my elder son stroke his baby brother so gently and say \"I love you, baby... but cannot throw ok... it's painful. My trains will spoil. No battery.\" He meant, if the trains are thrown on the floor there won't be any sound on his trains. He is right about that. Then, he will hug the baby with my help because at this time he doesn't know how to do it gently and tends to fall on or fall over the baby instead. So he will tell me, \"Mommy, I hug baby.\" That would be my cue to help him hug.
I am merely sharing and not sure if it may work with you or your children but like they say, never doubt the power of love. The warmth of love of a parent or educator can be felt whether or not the child can tell you it did.
Wishing all of you a good weekend ahead. :grphug: -
Montessori teachers are already special needs trained , don’t they ?
Dr Montessori come out w these teaching are made for specials , no ? -
Helplessmum
Helplessmum
Montessori teachers are not special needs trained, just that the montessori method is suitable to teach ASD kids but that doesn’t mean the teachers are special needs trained. Just like, I can swim but that doesn’t mean I am a competitive swimmer that can take part in competitions, it takes more than just knowing how to swim to be a competitive swimmer.
Buds
Thanks for the constructive feedback and sharing. U know what, I tried your method on my son today when he flared up again, it worked. I managed to stop his meltdown from manifesting and I didn’t shout at him. I appreciate such sharing. -
Double E:
One more time.... :lovesite:Helplessmum
Helplessmum
Montessori teachers are not special needs trained, just that the montessori method is suitable to teach ASD kids but that doesn't mean the teachers are special needs trained. Just like, I can swim but that doesn't mean I am a competitive swimmer that can take part in competitions, it takes more than just knowing how to swim to be a competitive swimmer.
Buds
Thanks for the constructive feedback and sharing. U know what, I tried your method on my son today when he flared up again, it worked. I managed to stop his meltdown from manifesting and I didn't shout at him. I appreciate such sharing. -
buds thanks for the sharing. Its a great post. :hugs:
one thing I have always wondered, the Montessori methodology was developed somewhat with the special needs child in mind. But when I look at the Montessori environment, its quite free flowing and independent, and that seems like a step back for the ASD child who needs structure and form to guide the learning.
How would you rationalize that?
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login