All About Autism

[woggles]

Double E:

Guys!

Husband and I were so exhausted yesterday. And is like all our 3 years of effort seem to wash down the drain in one Sunday.

:hugs: hang in there... you sound like you really need some time off to recharge. just wondering - when was the last time you and DH got a break/ some down time to yourselves?

not downplaying your son's meltdowns and tantrums - when our kids go off the \"deep end\", they can really raise hell! however at times, I realize that my perspective/behaviour/emotions play a part as well. when I'm relaxed and zen, DS's misbehaviour does not grate on me as much and I seem to be able to manage him better.
But when we are both exhausted, all hell breaks loose. I admit - I have screamed and ranted like a banshee in the car so badly a couple of times cos DS really pushed me over the edge :stupid: :mad: :stompfeet: :oops:

sometimes there may not be a trigger but more like their profiles are evolving. not much advice/ tips but just to take care of yourselves. when the adults are less harried, tired, frustrated and we project a firm, cool, zai stance to our kids (NT or special), they may respond in kind.
Jiayou! :rahrah:

[Double E]

My husband and I have enough me time. We just came back from our holidays in New York and Bangkok in Sept and Oct, without the kids. And every Friday, we have our couple time.


I tried to introduce the reward system sometime back but it didn't seem to work or rather he don't really care about the stars he get. So yesterday, I told him if he misbehaves, he will have no trains, no enrichment classes and no church. Wah!!! that really drove him nuts, cry even louder! So i actually think reward system dun work for him.

But every time, after a meltdown, he will come to us and asks us to hug and sayang him. Just like the balloon episode. After crying and being scolded by us, he stopped crying for a while and asked us to hug him. Initially , we thought he has gotten over the balloon, so naturally, we are more than glad to give him a hug. But once we hug him, he asked for the balloon again!! :slapshead: Aiyo!

[sharonkhoo]

Double E:

I tried to introduce the reward system sometime back but it didn't seem to work or rather he don't really care about the stars he get. So yesterday, I told him if he misbehaves, he will have no trains, no enrichment classes and no church. Wah!!! that really drove him nuts, cry even louder! So i actually think reward system dun work for him.

If you want to introduce either a reward or deprivation of privileges system, think through it carefully in advance and decide exactly what behaviours will trigger either a reward or deprivation, then tell your son in advance when he is calm. If he is already upset, it is unlikely to get through to him. For ASD kids, you will have to be extremely specific. Also, you have to be calm when you impose it as if you are angry, his tantrum will escalate.

[Gifts from Heaven]

Double E:

Guys!

I have a terrible weekend. My boy threw a big tantrum cos his balloon flew away at a party and he simply refused to accept another one as substitute. Also, he recently developed a habit of putting his hand in his pants, so much so that the teacher at yesterday's Sunday class had to alert me when I picked him up.

Sigh! His terrible tantrums returned recently especially if we say no to him or his schedule didn't go as planned. And yesterday, I had to drag him out of a birthday party to a back lane to scold him and left him there crying while I pretended to walk away. It lasted for a good 15mins or more, then he sheepishly walked slowly to me and stop crying. Then at night, another episode because our broadband network was too slow to load his Thomas video. I eventually had to resort to canning him. Husband and I were so exhausted yesterday. And is like all our 3 years of effort seem to wash down the drain in one Sunday.

Then on Sat, after his speech therapy, he was also whining when we refused to let him do something. His speech therapy teacher was very surprised at his behaviour because she has never seen this side of him. She told me she was appalled by his behaviour.

Now I hope there is a behaviour management camp that I can send him to for like a week to help him change. Sigh!!

Hugs to you :snuggles: !
Like NT kids, our special kids will also have their \"off\" days sometimes.
Maybe, you want to revisit his lesson on accepting no for an answer when he is calm. Then role play and practise with him.
Nothing to offer on the \"hands in pants\" problem...maybe check that pants/underwear not too tight and that there's no rashes or anything there that is bothering him.

My boy also dun care abt my reward system. I got to use \"praise for good behaviour and ignore bad behaviour\" method. He loves to hear me praise him for doing good. He will break into a smile, do a little dance and go bury his face in the pillows .

[DesertWind]

Hugs, Double E! :grphug:


Sounds familiar, happened to us too, such situations. Tiring indeed!
Yup, boy sounds bored to me, holiday time, nothing to do, feel like having some attention hence whine at mummy and daddy!

Also in the case of my boy (somewhat like the balloon case), it may be a case of boy needing to \"save face\", he won't stop whining until he got something else that is \"acceptable\" to him so that he will stop. In our case, we will try to distract him with something else he likes ie. handphone, food, etc. If all else fails, then yes, boy really having his off day! :gloomy:

The hand-in-pants thing is probably a growing up phase. My boy recently took to grabbing his crouch and grinning at us then having giggling fits. I read a chapter from James Dobson's \"Bringing up Boys\" and he said this is a normal phase for them and shows that they are being \"wired up\" properly! Maid told us to ignore him when he did that. For me, I sure scold and told him the police will catch. His daddy told him not to do a \"Michael Jackson\" :faint: . I also dunnoo how exactly to handle, hope he will grow out of it soon?

[botakgundul]

slmkhoo:

If you want to introduce either a reward or deprivation of privileges system, think through it carefully in advance and decide exactly what behaviours will trigger either a reward or deprivation...

Agree.

slmkhoo:

For ASD kids, you will have to be extremely specific.

Totally agree.

[botakgundul]

wamin:

Turning 5 this December, but at time when he do this in lift or outside people start looking at us like we are aliens :nailbite: .

Sometimes, no need to bother what other people think or say, just treat them transparent!

All the children should be treated equally and with respect irregardless of their condition.

[belachanbabe]

OMG, just when I was steeling myself for the long and arduous process of re-applying my boy into PL next year, I got a call today from the school that MY SON GOT ACCEPTED INTO PATHLIGHT!!! :rahrah: :boogie:


I have no words to express my joy right now.

It’s for the foundation course but that was what we were aiming for anyway since he was a borderline case with moderately severe autism. Also pantang so didn’t mention here but will share a longer post later detailing the process which involved 2 assessments, 1 school observation and lots of tears.

Special thanks to ImMeeMee for giving me hope. :celebrate:

[wamin]

@belachanbabe, very glad to hear that :celebrate: .

[Gisten]

belachanbabe:

OMG, just when I was steeling myself for the long and arduous process of re-applying my boy into PL next year, I got a call today from the school that MY SON GOT ACCEPTED INTO PATHLIGHT!!! :rahrah: :boogie:


I have no words to express my joy right now.

It’s for the foundation course but that was what we were aiming for anyway since he was a borderline case with moderately severe autism. Also pantang so didn’t mention here but will share a longer post later detailing the process which involved 2 assessments, 1 school observation and lots of tears.

Special thanks to ImMeeMee for giving me hope. :celebrate:

:congrats: Am happy for you!