All About Autism

[Autumnleaf]

Ladies, greatly appreciate your sharing of the phsycologists and clinics that I can try. At least I know where to begin.


Slmkhoo, my DS time management issues seems to be because he is just so laid back that he doesn’t realise each day theres a certain time to do different things like eating, showering.

He often tries doing 2 things at once because he probably feels he doesn’t have much free time as he takes at least an hour for his meals, half and hour for showers. We’re always having to tell him to put away his story book while he eats , also he can’t really do more than 1 thing at a time, although he wants to. This happend also while showering, doing big business on the toilet and even while he brushes his teeth. It is tiring coz we constantly have to correct him over the same things. Also wonder how this kid will be when he’s an adult. He will gladly wake up in the morning and trod around in his pj’s all day unless I tell him to change. Or I could tell him tomorrow is the weekend and he’s not think twice if I am wrong or not… He’s totally laid back.

[Double E]

Tyegoh

I do date with my hubby often. Like you, we will go on couple trips to Bangkok and last year to New York as well date nights on Friday.
I think dating is very important for every married couple with children, not just those with special needs. But I know not many can do that if they do not have family help. I am thankful that my mum can help me when I need a break from the kids. But I think the overseas couple trips will be history soon cos my sis is going to give birth soon and it will be too much for my mum to manage.

[sharonkhoo]

Autumnleaf:

Slmkhoo, my DS time management issues seems to be because he is just so laid back that he doesn't realise each day theres a certain time to do different things like eating, showering.


He often tries doing 2 things at once because he probably feels he doesn't have much free time as he takes at least an hour for his meals, half and hour for showers. We're always having to tell him to put away his story book while he eats , also he can't really do more than 1 thing at a time, although he wants to. This happend also while showering, doing big business on the toilet and even while he brushes his teeth. It is tiring coz we constantly have to correct him over the same things. Also wonder how this kid will be when he's an adult. He will gladly wake up in the morning and trod around in his pj's all day unless I tell him to change. Or I could tell him tomorrow is the weekend and he's not think twice if I am wrong or not.... He's totally laid back.

I empathise about the slowness! We have learned not to hurry my daughter too much because she just gets more flustered and it's worse in the end. An hour to eat sounds very long. My daughter is the slowest in the family, but can still finish only a few minutes later than us, probably 20 mins or so for a meal. When my kids were young, I would discard food that hadn't been consumed in 30 mins, so I guess they have been trained! For showers, I used to go in and supervise, but at 10yo I guess it may not be too nice. I will nag, and occasionally threaten to switch off lights if she takes too long!

Have you tried making lists of activities that he must do at certain times? Like waking up - change clothes, go to the bathroom, brush teeth, wash face, comb hair... Before going to school - check uniform, grab bag (packed the night before), put on socks and shoes... I had these posted all over the place in the earlier years so that I wouldn't need to say the same things again and again. I would just say \"have you done everything on the list?\" and make her check. And I've adapted to her in the sense that I will list out what is going to happen on out-of-the-ordinary days and help her plan the sequence of events and how long to allow for each activity. My other daughter finds it very boring and irritating, but she has realised that her sister needs it so she closes her ears and ignores me when I'm going on at length!

Not thinking for themselves - well, it's their literalness and their \"straight\" thinking. They assume that everyone tells the literal truth, so they won't consider that someone may be wrong or kidding or lying. It does mean that they also don't lie and aren't devious, which is a good trait. As for being laid back, again, that is something that isn't going to change, I think. My daughter doesn't have any sense of urgency either, and we have accepted it. She isn't going to do well academically, but even if she did, I'm not sure she could cope with a higher-level job. We have taught her to keep a to-do list and track her deadlines (I still keep an eye on the most important ones for her, just in case!), and keep her going at a steady pace and hope for the best.

[tyeogh]

totalstranger:

It is so true that parents of children with ASD need to work harder for the emotional, cognitive and social development of the child.

I have attended a lot of workshops on parent training e.g. Hanen, Floortime, ABA and RDI. I also stay with my child when she goes for therapy to learn how to work with her at home. After 2 years of therapy at a clinic using Floortime strategy, 6 months with a RDI trainer and 4 years with a clinic using ABA strategy. I decided that ABA is the most suitable strategy to teach my child who has very limited language ability (both receptive and expressive), low ability in compliance and short attention span.

Right now, I am pursuing a master degree in ABA with emphasis in Autism. This degree course is very helpful for me to understand autism and to evaluate different approaches of intervention strategies. It also helps me to deal with the behavior problems of my child.

Hi totalstranger,
My heart goes out to you. It must have been tough on you. I am constantly amazed at the extent mothers here go for their loved ones. A masters degree! No greater love is there when a mom fights for her child. Why go see movies when there are real life heros here *wink wink slmkhoo*. Yes, parents of children with ASD need to work harder for the emotional, cognitive and social development of the child. But please remember take care of yourself too.

[tyeogh]

Couragemom:

Hi tyeogh!!!!!!!!


Wait, let me pick up my contact lenses which have just popped out from my eyes! Woah, you really did manage to 'engineer' your son to K2! Totally amazing and a salute to both your determination and your son's quantum learning leap! Hopefully your son will lose his PDD-NOS label in Feb and you will be forced to get your darling son to learn Chinese (which I think your wifey is the one with foresight!)

Regarding dating, I just watched my first movie with my husband last year after my older daughter turned 4.5 years old! You are such a nice hubby because my husband is the wooden block who totally believe marriage is a partnership and romance is overrated! Haiz.... My bak-jiu ta stamps (eyes got stamps) during dating time.

Yo Couragemom! Contact lens can pop out meh? No wonder you bak jiu ta stamp also dunno. Eyesight problem. LoL.

Yea, I engineered him back to K2. Pleaded and begged, short of kneeling. Principal kept telling me otherwise, that its better for him to stay back, she has no slots, he is late Dec child so its fine to stay back etc. I kept saying next year K2. Buy what for K2, what I need for K2 ah, K2 got what difference, fill what form to go K2 etc. Come on, I am a parent of a ASD child. Super thick skin.

I give you an advice on getting your wooden block to change. Deny him something. LoL. :rotflmao:

[tyeogh]

Double E:

Tyegoh

I do date with my hubby often. Like you, we will go on couple trips to Bangkok and last year to New York as well date nights on Friday.
I think dating is very important for every married couple with children, not just those with special needs. But I know not many can do that if they do not have family help. I am thankful that my mum can help me when I need a break from the kids. But I think the overseas couple trips will be history soon cos my sis is going to give birth soon and it will be too much for my mum to manage.

Sis, you got some right beliefs! Wonder where you got it from? LoL. I was beginning to think I was abnormal. Quite evident whats our common denominator. :evil:

I don't go as far off as NY but I do go nearby. Every time we discuss more than 5 days away from our kids, we drop the plan. Sigh. Parenthood.

Keep the date nights going. Let tomorrow worry about the logistics

[sharonkhoo]

tyeogh:

Why go see movies when there are real life heros here *wink wink slmkhoo*.

Well, that was one of our \"dates\"! I didn't realise that Turing was being portrayed as Aspie until I saw the film, but it was interesting. The reason we went was because my husband was a mathematician, so he HAD to go and see this film.

[tyeogh]

slmkhoo:

Well, that was one of our \"dates\"! I didn't realise that Turing was being portrayed as Aspie until I saw the film, but it was interesting. The reason we went was because my husband was a mathematician, so he HAD to go and see this film.

Ah. Then I approve. Go date. I am quite a maths geek myself. Think I will go check out the show then. Does it explain differentiation or binomial distribution? :scratchhead:

[seoulover]

tyeogh:

Hi seoulover,

Happy to have helped. Many kind parents helped me here years ago so I wish to pay it forward.

I cannot tell you what to do so I will tell you what I did.

My son started AWWA EIPIC with 2 days a week. Then, they did not have a 3 days program. I wrote in to ask for more days and I believe, with similar requests from other parents, they surveyed, found their demand and organized a 3 days program the next year.

You are right about keeping the other free days to do \"homework\" on her. You can't rush such things. The only other public EIPIC I am aware of that offers 4 days is ARC. It shares the same campus with Pathlight and offers direct access into Pathlight at Primary 1. By direct, it means ARC students need not go through Pathlight assessors again since they share assessors and therefore get priority. I did apply and was offered a place in ARC. I turned it down because they did not offer a transport solution.

When my son was 2.5 y.o., he attended mainstream kindergarten in the morning. Then he goes for AWWA in the afternoon with my helper. My wife and me work, so we can't send him there.

According to his mainstream kindy teachers, he was a nightmare. They called him \"opposition party\". He wouldn't comply. Likely because he could not communicate and he wanted things his way. So he will whine, cry, bang his head on the floor etc. We insisted on keeping him at a mainstream kindergarten for the same reason your KKH OT suggested - to let him interact with NT kids. We avoided his kindy teacher each time she wanted to complain. What to do? She and her principal eventually recommended DS to stay back 1 year in Nursery level else they will refuse us a place. I readily agreed. He is now back to his age appropriate class at K2 because of his rapid progress.

On your question of a private ST, being a bona fide kiasu parent, we got him private ST at 2.5 y.o. It was a tumultuous journey. We sent him to Olive Tree at United Square. They kept changing ST. ST kept resigning after targets were set and DS got acclimatized. By the 4th ST, I gave up. Looked up Dynamics. Found that pretty German blonde's CV. She was equipped with PROMPT qualification. She taught my son well. Then, she had to go back to Germany to get married. (More of industry high turnover norm than Murphy's Law). Her replacement was an Aussie woman. She set goals that sounded more like grammar than speech. By then, I realized DS was more or less talking enough and it was not worth paying ST rates to learn grammar so I stopped it. I think DS was 4 y.o. then.

I never considered Dynamics EIPIC because I didn't think it would match up to AWWA's.

Yes, compliance was an issue I had with my son. However it should not be an issue for an experienced ST. You are right in not getting the full mileage out of each session. That's how the cookie crumbles for people like us, unfortunately. Sigh

Hi tyeogh,

Thanks for your detailed sharing about your experiences with EIPIC and ST. I actually took two weeks to come to a decision on my choice of EIPIC and feel affirmed after your sharing.

Thanks for sharing on ARC too. I've heard rave reviews on ARC and may consider switching there. Any idea if a clinical diagnosis of ASD is enough or is a psychological assessment compulsory?

I wish your boy all the best. It's heartening to know that he has progressed much.

[sharonkhoo]

tyeogh:

slmkhoo:

Well, that was one of our \"dates\"! I didn't realise that Turing was being portrayed as Aspie until I saw the film, but it was interesting. The reason we went was because my husband was a mathematician, so he HAD to go and see this film.

Ah. Then I approve. Go date. I am quite a maths geek myself. Think I will go check out the show then. Does it explain differentiation or binomial distribution? :scratchhead:

For general audiences, that would be too much Maths! It's more about the person and his life; the solving of the Enigma code was incidental. There's a film about Stephen Hawking that my husband wants to watch too.