All About Autism

[nugget]

mashy:

Nugget

Ya, not all are geniuses. But definitely average and above IQ else it won't be considered HFA. With their intense focus, we can find something that allows us to make the best of.

Regarding IQ test, we were sent out of the room. So there's nothing to prepare. If not it won't be accurate anyway. U can just tell your kid that the jie jie will play some games with him. The longer he stays in there means the more he can answer and the better the results. They will give you the report about a month later. Mine couldn't get a score because it's mountains and valleys. Some superbly high, some below average. They have subtests scores for the IQ tests which they add up to form the final fsiq. The version they are using for kkh is only wsic III which is an outdated version.

Oh ya, I think you are right. Avg or high IQ are then considered HFA.

My SLT was telling me to enroll my son into Pathlight. I was suddenly being thrown off. Last time she told me to put my son in mainstream and hence I been searching for which mainstream school have better support. Now she tell me he is better off in pathlight. I sometimes dunno if they give the best recommendation or not. Sigh.

[nugget]

lavendery,


Hugz! Older folks are like tat. Till now my parents and PIL think my son is just a bit slow and shy he will definitely \"grow out of it\" when he is bigger. They dun understand what we are going through. Just practise one ear in one ear out. Somehow I also feel my MIL feel I am the one causing my son to have ASD
She always hinted that I was doing this and that when I was pregnant and my long labour causing my son to have ASD as well. Just take it with a pinch of salt.

I am now pregnant with my 3rd child. Like Mashy mentioned, my no 2 also help my ASD kid alot. Now they will start to negotiate, get into fights and blow whistle on each other.

I hope no 3 will be okay and can help his elder bro too. But truth to be told, I am always wondering if my no 3 will be okay or not. I know I shouldnt have negative thoughts, but I can't help it as well. I just keep telling myself and baby that he is going to be healthy and happy and all of us love him and waiting for his arrival.

[mashy]

Nugget


Pathlight follows mainstream schools curriculum. They have better teachers to student ratio. It can be an option if its tough to focus. But I think u should try mainstream school first. If it cannot work out then go pathlight. Coz eventually when they look for a job, they have to fill in their pri sch names and pp will still discriminate.

My boy’s report says he can go mainstream but if he can’t cope, then he can switch to pathlight. He’s coping well so far and his friends are very loving towards him. School work wise is also fine. Maybe coz it’s not an acad driven sch so not so bad. Our greatest challenge so far was show and tell since obviously it will be a challenge. We practiced a lot with visual aids and glad he breezed through it with flying colours.

For mainstream sch, you will need to monitor very closely. Becoz the teacher has to teach the other 29 and you can’t expect her to constantly focus on your child.

[mashy]

nugget:

lavendery,


Hugz! Older folks are like tat. Till now my parents and PIL think my son is just a bit slow and shy he will definitely \"grow out of it\" when he is bigger. They dun understand what we are going through. Just practise one ear in one ear out. Somehow I also feel my MIL feel I am the one causing my son to have ASD
She always hinted that I was doing this and that when I was pregnant and my long labour causing my son to have ASD as well. Just take it with pinch of salt.

I went thru that too! Not just from MIL, but from SIL too. They kept pinning the blame on me and my genes. I have learnt to let go. Rather than focussing on the autism part, I focused on the high IQ part when I broke the news to them. Now they think he's too clever for his own good. Duh! Sometimes it is better not to let them know too much.

The great grandma who didn't know a thing just think of my son as being so clever and quiet boy who will quietly sit in a corner to read his books. Not rowdy like the other cousins.

[specialboymum]

Hi Nugget,


Thanks, I will try, hope it will work.

Hi lavendery,

I believe each and every of us here have experience some hurtful comments from people around us, whether it is intention or not. For me, I ever got the accusation from my in laws that I bring in ‘bad genes’ to their family line… it still hurts when I think about it, because the remark is not only insult to me but my whole family. Anyway, we can’t stop people from saying what they want to say, or do anything to change their mindset, so just rant out here- we can lend our listening ear or rather ‘eyes to read’, just move on to do what you need to do to help your child after that.

The professionals and experts can give advices based on their observation of your child, but I think we will still be in the best position to decide what is suitable for our kid. Just take their advices as references, but go by your heart to decide how to help your child. A couple of my kid therapists have given me suggestion to defer enrollment to primary 1 . My husband and I thought over it for a long time and decided to disregard whatever that has been suggested, and put him in mainstream. It is still too soon to tell if our decision is right, but we haven’t regret it yet. So far, he has been showing significant improvement

[nugget]

specialboymum:

The professionals and experts can give advices based on their observation of your child, but I think we will still be in the best position to decide what is suitable for our kid. Just take their advices as references, but go by your heart to decide how to help your child. A couple of my kid therapists have given me suggestion to defer enrollment to primary 1 . My husband and I thought over it for a long time and decided to disregard whatever that has been suggested, and put him in mainstream. It is still too soon to tell if our decision is right, but we haven't regret it yet. So far, he has been showing significant improvement

Ok, I will just listen first and trust my gut feeling and see how it goes.

[lavendery]

Thanks all for the consolations. Sorry I guess this is just one of those days whereby i have snapped and loose grip of myself.


I got it from my SIL (my husband's sister) too. She could not understand why we have not been able to visit my husband's parents. She too accused me that before I started to feel unjustified or blame her parents' nagging, she told me to do some soul searching of myself first.

Could she try to understand my situation too before she said that to me? I'm alone facing this situation. Yes alone. My dear husband is still living in his own world refusing to accept the truth. I guess my SIL won't understand and perhaps she will never be able to understand unless she has a special kid too.

Regardless if its weekdays after office hours or weekends, I either find myself rushing to school or still need to stay back for work so that I have this extra money called 'overtime pay' to pay for my girl's SLT and OT. My girl's psychologist even mentioned my girl need RDI also and a special school setting will be beneficial for her. All these do not come cheap at all, including her GFCFSF organic diet and her biomed treatments with the tests and supplements she is taking per month.

Where and how on earth do I find time to visit them when I myself is depriving from sleep and hardly have time to rest when I got so much commitments on hand. Cos I knew everytime even if I go there, it will always be the same nagging from them. They only know how to complain who and who, else directly question me when I'm going to bear them a grandson to carry on their family line. I rather save my time and effort in working overtime and pay for my girl's therapies, than visiting them regularly

[ImMeeMee]

lavendery:

Thanks all for the consolations. Sorry I guess this is just one of those days whereby i have snapped and loose grip of myself.


I got it from my SIL (my husband's sister) too. She could not understand why we have not been able to visit my husband's parents. She too accused me that before I started to feel unjustified or blame her parents' nagging, she told me to do some soul searching of myself first.

Could she try to understand my situation too before she said that to me? I'm alone facing this situation. Yes alone. My dear husband is still living in his own world refusing to accept the truth. I guess my SIL won't understand and perhaps she will never be able to understand unless she has a special kid too.

Regardless if its weekdays after office hours or weekends, I either find myself rushing to school or still need to stay back for work so that I have this extra money called 'overtime pay' to pay for my girl's SLT and OT. My girl's psychologist even mentioned my girl need RDI also and a special school setting will be beneficial for her. All these do not come cheap at all, including her GFCFSF organic diet and her biomed treatments with the tests and supplements she is taking per month.

Where and how on earth do I find time to visit them when I myself is depriving from sleep and hardly have time to rest when I got so much commitments on hand. Cos I knew everytime even if I go there, it will always be the same nagging from them. They only know how to complain who and who, else directly question me when I'm going to bear them a grandson to carry on their family line. I rather save my time and effort in working overtime and pay for my girl's therapies, than visiting them regularly

dear lavendery, I feel you are one strong person to be able to take this to this far, being much alone without support from ILs and spouse. :salute:

do take care of yourself and consider pacing yourself where possible. This is a long drawn process and we need to conserve energy where we can.

jmho.

[mashy]

lavendery:

Thanks all for the consolations. Sorry I guess this is just one of those days whereby i have snapped and loose grip of myself.


I got it from my SIL (my husband's sister) too. She could not understand why we have not been able to visit my husband's parents. She too accused me that before I started to feel unjustified or blame her parents' nagging, she told me to do some soul searching of myself first.

Could she try to understand my situation too before she said that to me? I'm alone facing this situation. Yes alone. My dear husband is still living in his own world refusing to accept the truth. I guess my SIL won't understand and perhaps she will never be able to understand unless she has a special kid too.

Regardless if its weekdays after office hours or weekends, I either find myself rushing to school or still need to stay back for work so that I have this extra money called 'overtime pay' to pay for my girl's SLT and OT. My girl's psychologist even mentioned my girl need RDI also and a special school setting will be beneficial for her. All these do not come cheap at all, including her GFCFSF organic diet and her biomed treatments with the tests and supplements she is taking per month.

Where and how on earth do I find time to visit them when I myself is depriving from sleep and hardly have time to rest when I got so much commitments on hand. Cos I knew everytime even if I go there, it will always be the same nagging from them. They only know how to complain who and who, else directly question me when I'm going to bear them a grandson to carry on their family line. I rather save my time and effort in working overtime and pay for my girl's therapies, than visiting them regularly

Jia you! U are a tough cookie! Not easy to handle all these by yourself and with such negativity from the closest people.

[nugget]

Sigh its really not an easy journey and sometimes I feel we are so alone.


Not knowing if every choice we made for our kid is right or not. Not gaining support and understanding from our love ones, some of us are even getting blame for our kids situation. Experts and therapists giving their opinions which you feel its untrue and unfair due to the short time they spent with your child.

Argh… Really frustrating sometimes. On top of this, we still need to juggle with work, additional expenses, our other kids’ needs and household chores!! No wonder if I am getting more white hair!