Hmm … the mother had had enough of the irresponsible and lazy man which was why she divorced him and even gave him a large sum of money to keep him away. Obviously it didn’t work. I am quite sure if the mother had been alive, the father wouldn’t have dared to come back to haunt them.


I am hoping for suggestions of legal ways to handle the matter and get this man out of my friend’s life actually because he’s not fit to ask for maintenance after knowingly abandoning them when they were young.

Hi,


What I am about to ask may rile some of you up, but I beseech you not to ride on your moral high horse to judge, but instead, help provide a solution, if you have, to the problem at hand. If not, please hold your peace as we do not need more ‘filial piety’ advice.

A friend and her 2 sisters, and their mother, were estranged from her father since young.

The father ran away when the 3 girls were young, leaving the mother alone to fend for herself and support the family. The uneducated woman took on 3 jobs and slept 4 hours daily to support the family.

She would buy 3 packets of rice for lunch, one for each daughter, and get a bit of rice from each of the packets to make it a meal for herself.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer in her younger days but due to a lack of money, and the fact that she needed to work, she put her condition aside.

My friends and her sisters had to give tuition or work part-time at fast food joints to earn their pocket money and school fees since secondary school days until two of them saw themselves through university and the other one, poly.

At this opportune time, the father returned, demanding that the sisters should give him allowance because ‘we raise you’.

The mother, an overly kind woman, allowed the man back to live with the family for some years before she decided that enough was enough. She divorced him, sold the flat and gave the man $100k even though he had contributed nothing to the flat. The mother and the daughters parted ways with the man.

About half a year into the divorce, the mother’s cancerous cells had invaded her brain. She collapsed at home, foaming at the mouth. The doctors had to remove part of her brain which controlled her speech and thinking ability. She couldn’t speak after that, could only make loud incoherent noise to express herself. She was bedridden for half a year before she died of the inability to breathe. The husband didn’t fork out a cent for her $100k medical bill nor pay a cent for her funeral.

3 or 4 years later, a few days ago, my friend returned home to see a big SOS note stuck to the door.

On it were the 3 sisters’ names, asking them to look for their father as he was ‘very sick’. It was signed off by their father’s friend. Obviously, the father had squandered his $100k away and wanted more money.

My friend is now very worried that the father will sue them for parental maintenance. Given the irresponsible man that he is, I am sure he will if they choose to ignore him.

My friend has explored the possibility of putting a notice on the papers to sever ties with this man but someone she enquired with said,"Our Asian moral values say that we should be filial to our parents."

My friend has also read up on the law and according to her, it states that children are obliged to provide maintenance to their parents even if the parents have never supported them! I find this clause ridiculous and irresponsible. The law was passed to protect responsible parents from being abandoned by unfilial children, or so I thought, but why has it been subject to abuse?

Is there anyone with such experience, or who knows how to stop the father from extorting more money from them? The girls do not want to have anything to do with the father. Can anyone help?

Hi all,


Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

I just want to update all.

We stayed on in the end as my father’s condition wasn’t stable. The bill came up to an astronomical figure, but what matters is my father is well and on the road to recovery.

After that, I chose private again for his follow-up treatment as the doctor in the restructured hospital did not appear to be confident and had never seen my father’s case before.

Thank you for all the sharing. I appreciate it much.

hi all im quite blur on all these cus its my first hee so i may ask some silly questions ^^.. u mean theres enrichment classes in nyps? cus my girl now having enrichment classes like ICR and tianxia. is enrichment class in nyps is better? i cant wait to see my girl's classmates and teachers! hope everything goes well. i heard that the books can order online is that true? so we dont have to carry like mad the books? and the uniform we can buy from basbrasha right?


2015 P1 Intake - No/Nick/Gender
1) Jaspire - Girl
2) Ashlyr - Girl
3) Clarice - Girl

The enrichment classes are conducted by vendors but we can always trust the school to have screened the vendors and get the better ones. However, these classes are really just enrichment so i don't think they are so pertinent.

Yes, you can order the books online. They will deliver to your doorstep.

And yes, you can buy uniforms at bras basah but there's no hurry

2015 P1 Intake - No/Nick/Gender

1) Jaspire - Girl
2) Ashlyr - Girl

Thank you for your contributions. I am wondering if you could be more specific or explicit when you mentioned that health service needs improvement.


My siblings have never been admitted to restructured hospitals and they would not believe me when I related my story of my suffering in one of them. They thought I exaggerated my experience or I was the unique one who went through what no one else would.

Bumping it up.

We are in the midst of trying to decide if we should transfer our father from a private hospital to a restructured one. We feel that the doctor in charge is not fantastic.


Of all 6 children, I am the only one who had stayed at a restructured hospital and I am not for it. And personally, I have heard many horror stories of restructured hospitals. The only one positive story is from a KK Hospital’s A ward in which the husband was a nurse himself.

Can anyone share his or her thoughts on whether transferring to a restructured hospital is a wise one? A sister is very sure that the doctors at sgh could be better than the private hospital. But I am really not sure about that. Our current doctor also came from sgh.

I told my siblings that I would post up a thread and see what others think - which has better doctors and nursing care? If there are more positive stories about restructured hospitals than private ones, we would transfer.

Father is a PR. Not sure if this info would help.

Please share.