I vote 'No'...


It's a personal belief that any use of \"violence\" (by that I mean inflicting physical pain or using the threat of physical pain) should not be a solution to any problems. That includes disciplining children.

Several other beliefs such as being unconvinced of the efficacy of such methods, possible negative consequences like unintended injuries, modeling undesired conflict resolution methods makes it hard for me to accept using caning (or other forms of corporal punishment) as a way to discipline a child.

I believe consistent discipline can be achieved without it... So far so good.. DD is turning 4 and i am happy with how she is growing up. Looking at how she behaves with us or with others, no one believes she has never had a cane or hand laid on her.. Either that, they think she was born an angel (which I hardly thinks so)... So sparing the rod, doesn't necessary means spoiling the child.

I agree… it is really tragic how a holiday can turn out so badly.


When driving in a foreign country, pls be very VERY careful. I dont know about other places, but in Australia, one of the main ‘killer’ on the highways is Fatigue, esp when driving long distances. So plan your holiday well, dont "chiong" from place to place, break up the drive with rest stops. And always wear your seatbelts (back passengers also) and have safety harness/child seats for children.

Condolences to the two families and Hope the two boys and the father’s condition will stablize soon…

FQW:

Thanks schweppes for taking the effort to explain to us the issues faced by ASD sufferers. I am now at least able to understand their behaviour better.


Based on the good English posted by this AO guy - he can write better than me, doesn't look like someone with only 3 'O's - can I say that ASD doesn't interfere with the intellectual ability of a person; only the behavoral aspect is impacted?

Perhaps I can share some info on ASD...

As ASD covers a spectrum, there are those who are mildly affected as well as those who are more severe. Often ASD presents co-morbidly with some form of intellectual disability but not all individuals with ASD are intellectually challenged. There are very high functioning individuals with average or above average, even superior IQ, and have less impaired receptive and expressive language skills. A term associated to this form of ASD is Aspergers syndrome but some will argue that we shouldn't put Aspergers under the autism umbrella. Another form of ASD which gets a lot of media attention are the autistic savants, individuals highly impaired by their Autism but have remarkable splinter skills in particular areas (e.g. Drawing, music, numbers, computing etc)...

Purely because ASD is such a broad spectrum, and intellectual impairment has many different degrees, when u combine the two, there is a myriad of presentations for people who are diagnosed with Autism. It makes diagnosis and intervention more complex and require expertise and experience to do that... That said, we do understand Autism in terms of certain traits and characteristics and their unique learning style to develop fairly successful intervention programs across the spectrum which needs to be individualized. In the field, the metaphor for Autism is being akin to a form of \"culture\" that requires understanding rather than seeing is as an \"illness\"....

Hope that provide more info for those who are interested...

Look at what a little understanding can do…


Thanks to those who kindly explained about what is autism and how ASD can affect one’s behavior, reactions now are more tempered. Yes, the action of the individual is wrong because he can cause grievious hurt, even if unintentional (impulse control and emotional regulation are some of the toughest thing for an individual with ASD) but now, pple thinks Alex should get some help or intervention to help him manage those issues instead of calling for his blood.
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This post is not to refute the fact that Alex is wrong… But I am quite concern how often people get riled up over pieces of information posted up in the social media and start to "advocate" for some form of social justice (the comments were no less violent than the act itself sometimes) without even attempting to look or consider other factors in the situation. People seems to become very judgemental and easy access to any information on the Internet means anyone can be Judge Judy…

I’ve seen terrible comments made about Alex and his parents when the video came out, and then subsequent disdain and disbelief that Alex is diagnosed with ASD (must be an excuse)… How about stopping for a minute and consider that that is actually true… (in fact those very traits that people deride him of: his scarf, his "ridiculous" attempt at defending himself, his inability to see how what he say makes him even more despicable, points to a socially awkward individual with limited social understanding and interaction skills… The hallmark of individuals with a condition know as Autism Spectrum Disorder)… Will the people who made those comments now feel necessary to perhaps frame their comments in a different way?

I would like to believe that Singaporeans are basically gracious and understanding people… After all, I often hear how other immigrants from certain countries have problems fitting in to SG because they are different from Singaporeans in these aspects… And if everyone and anyone, could just take a moment to allow for more information to present itself before reacting emotionally (thereby inciting further emotional responses - esp towards the people involved), perhaps there can be less judging and more helping.

Surely, in life, we can afford to take time in order to be kinder and more gracious to those around us…

micollh:

aurorin, will and my feedbacks from my trip actually inspire my frens and sister to plan theirs haaa.. but i was told summer is super hot.. still autumn/winter go is nicer right? one thing abt mel, food is darn expensive.. our breakfast each time is 25-30 AUD for 2 adults and 2 young kids..how the people there survive ? salary must b very high lor

Hahaha i am sure Melb city council will be happy with increase tourism

I think the best time to visit is spring/late spring (i.e. Oct/Nov). Long daylight hours, good weather, not too cold not too hot. Start of summer maybe not so bad.. more hot days in Jan/Feb but sometimes temp can also drop (erractic one la). Autumn nice also but beginning la.. abt Apr/May, it gets dark very quickly. Winter good if wanna go experience skiing/snow...

Ya.. expensive to eat out that's why alot of pple make their own lunch for work or eat simple e.g. museli for brekkie. If eating out for dinner, often time portions are quite big, can tarbao for next day lunch. Salary high but tax also high lor.. unless u have kids, then can get alot of rebates which offset the tax.. mine is comparable to back in SG after all the tax benefits and rebates cos i am not on super high salary scale and have kid :evil:

Glad you had a great time in Melb with your family. Heh heh welcome to visit again!

HmmM do i trust my DH? At this moment, i'd say yes, 100%.


It wasnt always been that way. Over the years (we have been together for 14 years, married for 7) that figure fluctuated, at one point it dipped into the negatives. But he worked very hard to make up and top it up till full tank again. Of cos, i needed to put in my share too.

Very soon, DH will need to travel to China for work from time to time. Dont know if the 100% tank will change again but this time i am pretty optimistic because i think we both learnt our lesson and know what's at risk. This marriage is not something either of us will risk jeapardizing so we will both behave ourselves. :rotflmao:

LOLMum:

will the daughter treat her mother and mother in law equally?

Hahaha good question!

Similarly, i am fair towards my mom and MIL. Several times i put my mom in her place when she was unfair to my MIL, vice versa... but no, i dont love them the same or treat them equally.

Unfortunately, it doesnt seem that there will be much love developing between MIL and I due to our very different outlooks and perspectives with regards to family issues. Well, no biggie Respect will still be given when respect is due!

I think i can strive to be FAIR to future DIL and DD. If DD is wrong, i wouldnt say she is right to put down DIL. Vice versa. I think that's just good parenting.. doesnt matter DIL or DD or DS or even DH...


But it's impossible to treat both the same or equally because the nature of the bond and relationship is different. That said, i think it is very possible that i can develop a love for the future DIL over time if there's mutual understanding and respect. But i would not expect to have that love from either party at the onset.

Anyway, in all things, it takes two hands to clap... I wouldnt force the issue.

tutormum:

I think I'm a bad christian if measured against how many people I'm converted. I don't share in such a way that people felt intimidated but as christian I'm expected to \"save souls\". I prefer to live my life that others can see Christ in me, in other words, a living testimony. Action speaks louder than words. I know of how some people avoid their christian friends cos they were pissed off by those so called religious talk. ‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the LORD Zechariah 4:6

If every Christian live as you do, there will probably be less conflict in the world.

I am not a Christian though my parents & brothers are. My mom keep company with a bunch of Christians who are evangelistic and the longest time would come and tell me that i would go to hell if i do not convert. When that didnt work, the soft tactic of \"wouldnt you want to be with us, your family when you die?\" and think of your poor old mom worried about you... etc etc. And when i married a Buddhist, the remarks that i have to put up with about my DH and his family... sigh.. It really PUTS ME OFF big time because religion is and should be personal and private. Dont Christians always say that they have a personal relationship with Christ?

Thankfully my father holds the same view as you, Tutormom... and he got my mom and her friends to ease the pressure and stress because he could what they were doing were alienating me instead. So i appreciate Christians like my dad and brothers and friends.. who do what the religion preach more than just preaching...

So i am still a free-thinker... my grouse is not with whether that there is a God. I am open to the idea that there is a creator.. but until people who purport to speak for Him can live up to everything that they speak of and not have that 'my God is better than your God' mindset... i prefer to go on with my life, living it as morally as i can as a good human being with no regrets.