slmkhoo:

tyeogh:

[quote=\"Niu2009\"]

My son is same age as your son. He is in K1 now. His ST suggested send him in speech and drama, just started last week. His teacher always said strong in academic and week in social. I am also thinking about defer him 1 year as he is Nov baby. Sign! A difficult decision.

My son is a Dec 29 baby............

All the more reason to hold him back a year. Lots of parents of NT kids born in Dec would want to hold their kids back if they were allowed. My daughter is a Jan kid![/quote]Mine are Dec babies too...sensing a pattern here.

I always look forward to sharings by Simkhoo and her wisdom in coping with an older ASD child. :rahrah:


While I somewhat understand the secret desire in hoping our kids outgrow their autism despite knowing how irrational it is, I have a slight advantage compared to you guys in that I don’t know what raising an NT kid is like.

Now that they are 6+ years old and in mainstream pri 1 and Pathlight’s pri 1 foundation respectively, we have totally stopped all forms of therapy like OT or ST. Sure there are the occasional meltdowns and bullying cases but we deal with it like any other KS parent would. I also see a marked improvement in their maturity level this year probably attributed to the combination of growing up and conducive environment. Academically still lagging behind though, trying not be a tiger mum about it.

Double E, one of the learnings is that we have to be extra vigilant or make special arrangements on the homework and school events part because they are unable to tell us. What I do nowadays is to grill my boy and check all their books/bag every day to make sure I don’t miss out on homework. Have also asked the teachers to write down in their daily journals if it’s something that needs more preparation like show and tells. In Pathlight, this is automatic already. Made a huge mistake earlier this year when my boy in mainstream was the only one wearing his uniform while the others wore PE attire on a school trip. Doesn’t seem like a big deal but he had a meltdown that lasted the entire weekend. Heart broke when he said he didn’t want to be ‘special’, only to realize that he didn’t want to be singled out from his peers in any way. Haiz, live and learn.

And nice to see this thread active again. Only been in this forum lately to kay poh this year’s pri 1 registration. :lovesite:

Thanks Couragemom. However I stay in the East so it is very inconvenient to go Buena Vista. One thing I’ve learnt also that slapping a ‘special needs’ tag on something means more $$ you have to fork out. I rather have a patient but firm teacher for him.


Double E, I didn’t get to speak directly to the mum but the teacher said she was quite apologetic and was willing to discipline her son so I left it at that. Problem partly is also no bus aunty. Heard it is normal to not have a one as all margins are squeezed. Just contrast this to my boy’s PL bus which cost me $270 (2 ways) compared to $90 (one way) monthly.

The boy that bullied him was considered one of his friends in class but dunno what triggered him to start calling him names. This happened only on the school bus, not the school itself. Could be peer pressure from group of older boys there. C1 seems to have a group of friends that he goes to recess with and they aren’t imaginary coz I also checked with the teacher on that too. On the other hand, my boy does talk non-stop when it comes to his favorite subject of dinosaurs. So I can imagine the others being turned off by his incessant chatter. He can be very ‘high maintenance’ in terms of needing attention.

Hi Johmom


Glad to hear about your son’s successful adjustment into Pri 1. C1’s situation is not as smooth as yours though. He is very weak in mandarin, hasn’t been able to pass his 听写 since it started *haiz. Still am making him try till Pri 2 before applying for exemption. We also started Chinese tuition but so far no results yet; teacher’s just wrestling to keep his attention. His maths prowess has also been slipping also due to the English comprehension required, the ‘more’ and ‘less’ than part always trips him up. So he is a bit down because of that as he has been quite advanced in his Kumon maths worksheets.

The school bus bullies are another story, last week he came back with scratches and bruises on his arms and his uniform dirtied like he rolled on the floor. He was very tearful and said that he had no friends. Wah, I exploded at his form teacher, AED officer and school bus operator and threatened to make a police report the next day. Luckily the matter was swiftly investigated and solved within the day. His classmate called him names and instigated 2 others to shove him. Teacher called his mother and made him do some reflection and write an apology letter to my boy with some drawings of his favorite dinosaurs. Overall the school has been quite supportive and efficient and they were able to manage this deranged mother and make the bus operator wake up his idea. Not sure how long it will last though. :xedfingers:

C2’s path at Pathlight has thankfully been less dramatic and he started tkd about 2.5 mths back to improve his balance and discipline. Again, we are thankful that the school is able to let him have one to one with a dedicated instructor but within a big class so that he is able to observe and emulate others (of course you have to pay for it, no free lunch as they say). What I liked was that the school has a code of ethics or whatever is the proper term, as we personally saw other kids volunteering to help whenever he stumbles and falls or patiently show him proper stances. No expectations on belt grading at the moment so long as he enjoys the lessons. Already quite impressed that he is able to do the forward roll independently and kick waist high. Unfortunately C1’s school demands are too demanding so he is unable to join his bro. Highly recommend anyone to send their kid to tkd if they have the time.

There’s some truth to the b-lister theory. All things being equal, ARC students will get a place in Pathlight over others.


First-hand experience: My boy was not from ARC or one of those governmental EIPIC centers. I had a place at the Simei centre after a 12 mth wait but had to give it up due to the unrealistic logistical problems. Who has time to go thrice a week for 3 hrs when you are a FTWM? The when it finally came to registering for PL, those of you who know my story know that my boy had to endure 3 separate assessments before he was finally accepted into PL end of last year.

IT WAS HELL and am still somewhat emotionally scarred.

While it ended well, looking back; please go the ARC route if you are given the opportunity and try your best to see if you can handle the logistics somehow. Supplement with private special needs tuition if you can afford it. And tell yourself it is only for a couple of years. :xedfingers:

Hi all, been a long time since I popped in here. Nice to see new faces and continued support for each other. Jia you! Fighting!


On a positive note, do you find ASD kids especially endearing? At the risk of sounding bias being parents and all, I noticed that adults that they encounter in their daily lives i.e. teachers, get very attached to my boys and they always say that their heart melt and they find them very cute etc. Almost all go the extra mile to accommodate them and I don’t feel that it’s out of pity or reluctance to cater to their condition either. Maybe they are less cynical, selfish and cunning than NT kids. Some intangible X-factor which should bode well in the real world. :imcool:

Hi ImMeeMee


Yeah, time really flies; this morning we had the first teacher parent meet up before school hols. Glad to report that there’s not much for us to do other than to continue to reinforce on-seat work conduct and handwriting practice. Still amazed at how much he has ‘grown’ in terms of presenting appropriate behavior and increased motor skills in this short time. Quite proud that he is able to pick up things quickly and settle down into routines smoothly.

Still believe the school has some kind of magic in the air. :please:

Nugget, glad to hear your son is settling down well. Jan was crazy for me too with all the logistical/routine changes and meltdown management. Thankfully the episodes have since lessened as time passes. The support from school is more than we were expected (i.e. he sits up front in class) with his form teacher already special needs trained and attentive towards him. Overall he does look forward to school and even has a pal to go recess with.


His penmanship still needs a lot of work. You would think that this day and age of computers and tablets that this skill is a throwaway. However, since most assessments and work are still handwritten, they need to be legible and fast too. Don’t want them to be marked down coz the handwriting annoys the reader. Teacher also pointed out that without good handwriting, the kid will lose confidence and motivation in his work especially compared to his peers. No wonder my other boy in PL has penmanship classes in his foundation year. It is really that important ah, dun play play.

Academically it has been slow going which could be partially attributed to his penmanship. He has to practice writing everyday on top of the homework so he gets cranky in the evenings. Unfortunately he flunked his first 听写, think I was more upset than him though hopefully it taught him to pull his socks up from now on.

Phtthp, my son’s school also calls them remedial lessons even though pri1/2 not supposed to have counted assessments. Anyway potato-potahto to me, more important that the school gives extra support to his weaker subjects as he doesn’t have any outside enrichment classes at the moment. This was advised by the AED officer not to overload him for the first half of year.

Double E, your post reminded me of that book/movie “my sister’s keeper “where a savior sibling was conceived to save her sick sister who needed a kidney transplant. While this case is obviously not as drastic, I do have strong views against having kids for ANY reason other than to be a cherished gift from heaven and to receive unconditional and limitless love and care from their own family. To be naturally be responsible for their siblings’ welfare in future should be a result of values and guidance instilled by the family and shouldn’t be by “force”. BB3’s experience should serve as a cautionary tale for putting such pressure on NT sibilings.


Yes, am also one of those who dislike parents who use guilt on their kid with statements such as “Did you know I endured XX hours of labor pain to deliver you so you should do what I tell you to do –\" :lightrod:

On a less emotional point, my “factory closed” policy is more the financial consideration for bringing up kids in Singapore. We just chose to channel our resources to giving our existing kids the best possible care and education available for now.

Anyway there's only 12% chance of a sibling having ASD, can't remember where I read this but that's a low percentage enough to me to not be a factor/consideration of having another kid.

Agree ImMeeMee, penmanship is a big issue; however at the moment, it is still legible so we aren’t too fussed, more on content and spelling for now. They also have penmanship classes so don’t want to overload him at home.


Due to mainstream demands, my other son is required to practice his handwriting every day. He is quite stubborn and it’s been constant battle every night to get him to practice. Last evening this triggered a meltdown and he cried himself to sleep *sigh*

Also can't help but compare the difference since I experience both sides. Am even more thankful for the extra year at PL because the life skills gap between kinder and mainstream primary is really wide. Turning socks inside out, tucking-in shirts cleanly, buttoning, eating within a required timeframe is a struggle for my boy in mainstream. Admittedly, I have been focusing on him more than my boy at PL due to these issues. Yeah, I also wished I started earlier before it became so problematic and it’s heartbreaking to see him so demoralized. :sad:

If things are getting too much for your doter, maybe you can consider moving her into foundation for the extra time? Do PL allow such flexibility?