pupilview:

Try Gracefields Kindergarten near the Bukit Panjang Post Office(Phoenix LRT).It has got a nice green patch of land and is not conducted in a mall environment.It has got 3 hr sessions one in the morning and the other in the afternoon.Teachers are also quite good and dedicated.

I registered my gal at Gracefields Teck Whye and just received a letter that the school will no longer be there as their lease cannot be renewed.

Now I am trying to find a school for my gal. I was looking forward to my gal studying that cos my nephew attends the one at Gilstead and my sister is very impressed with the school.

And after some research, no preschool in the area fits what I want. The last thing I want my gal to remember of her preschool is worksheets, spellings, tests which she will be getting tons in primary school.

Bowie:

Congrats M3!


Being independent and like to explore places by herself is a good sign that ur gal is developing to a CONFIDENT Kid!!! This is very important for our kids development and usually they are able to be like this because they are shower with sufficient (I really mean sufficient and not over or under dosage) LOVE and CARE.

A baby need the love of all people, especially the caregivers in order to blossom. Don't feel jeolous in fact u should be thankful that ur in laws are willing to take care for u ur gal. Imagine some parents who have no such fortune have to leave their kids to childcare or maids....

My gal is with my in laws for weekdays cos we stayed too far away and its inconvenient to rush across the island everyday to bring her to her school. (Her sch is near my in laws so that they can fetch her when her class is over) But we play with her every evening after work and bring her home every weekend. We bring her every week to my mother's place too so that she will meet up with her uncles, aunties, my parents etc... We do all these becos we are strong believers that kids grow well in an environment fill with LOVE.


We want her to love everyone and everyone to love her. Don't feel bad. Love is unlimited. And I believe every kid always have a special position for their mommy and daddy. :love:

I like your post and thanks to everyone else who has been encouraging me. These posts have been very useful and I am gradually learning to see my mil as my partner in my gal's growing up than a competitor. I hope I will stick to this concept and belief and not start to feel jealous again.

westmom:

Dear M3


I understand your feelings as I went through the same emotions more than 10 years ago. I was (and still am) working and every available time, I ensured I spent with my dd. I was fortunate to get a top class (meaning take cares of baby/toddlers/hse very well) and I had no worries about the childcare, house nor any issues with maid. The downside was that my dd was more attached to the maid than me. As a new mother, I was sort of \"jealous\" at first ...wah after so much love showered on her...still prefers the \"maid\" whoa...But I tell myself to be objective about the situation...I comforted myself with the knowledge that my dd was in good care and the fact that she prefers my maid means she is not being abused. Also, I need to work so there was no other choice. I told myself that it was not anyone's fault that the child is closer to a caregiver but I created this circumstance myself because I chose to continue to work. The jealousy went away when replaced with such rational thoughts. I continue to ensure I spent quality time with dd whenever I could. When she was about 3yrs or more...i realised that the \"attention\" shifted more to me..and she became closer and closer to me as time progress. So don't worry but continue to find chance to \"bond\" with kid and don't get overly concerned about \"who\" the child is closer to, just be thankful that you have some one you can trust (MIL) to look after your child...

Thanks for your note. It's very encouraging. I will work towards bonding with my dd.

heutistmeintag:

M3, pardon me for saying something insensitive but I think realistic. Hope you dun mind me saying this.


Our children at certain parts of their lives will have somebody equally important and sometimes more important (than parents can accept) to them. Friends during teens, husband when married, children when they are parents .etc. We as parents have to accept these realities and as much as we love them, loving them doesnt mean we possess them. They are free to love someone else too.

Perhaps your MIL is not aware of or sensitive to your insecurity, when you are bonding with your child. You are already spending lotsa time with your child and if you feel that you need more, you can always do so in the privacy of your bedroom(s).

Last but not least, dont wrap your life around the child. The child could grow up lacking independence, clingy and self-centre. Just let go abit and enjoy their childhood when they are young. Stay positive!

Thank you for your advice. I understand the part about who are the people important to the kids at different stage of life. I don't want to possess my kids. Perhaps I am not enjoying a good relationship with my mil and that made everything worse. My mil always tells me what to do and I never defied her. So I thought I would gradually lose my kid to her.

I am not worried my kid being dependent. Because everyone who interacts with my gal says she is so independent. She never clings on to me, dad or grandma even in a foreign environment. She just go about exploring the place on her own. Guess that is also what made me doubt if I am spending enough time with her because other kids tend to cling on to their mummies. I think I think too much.

radiantmum:

Hi M3,


I had the same kind of jealousy with my maid earlier. But guess what, it really doesn't matter the amount of time spent with the kid. It's the quality time that counts and most importantly I realise it's true that NOBODY can replace mother-and-child bond, literally - I am still the most important person to my kid though he had spent more time with parents-in-law and maid

I guess it's the stage that all new mothers go through. JIA YOU !

Thanks radiantmum, I keep telling myself that too. I will continue to Jia You

My kid is 13 months old and is taken care of by my MIL. Not a choice I want to make.


I am jealous when my kid will go to my MIL in the midst when I am playing with her like to show her something I gave her.

I am very scared that my kid will be closer to my MIL than me.

I want to be a stay home mum but I cannot as my hub doesn't earn much.

I always leave work early so that I can spend at least 4 hours with my kid before she sleeps. I spend all my weekends with her from morning till night.

I don't go out with my friends without my kid. I am with her 24/7 except when I am at work. I play with her, read to her, take walks with her, swim etc. I research on how to educate her and plan all the play we can in a day.

But I feel threatened by my MIL because whenever I am playing with my kid she will call her name, distract her etc so that my kid will walk to her.

And my kid has this habit of standing in between my MIL's legs while watching TV like how she will always sit on my lap when she wants me to read to her.

Can anyone tell me if my kid's behaviour does show that she is closer to my MIL than me?

I really work very hard to bond with my gal.

I decided to read all the posts in this thread because I have been really unhappy staying with my pil after 3 years.


Things are becoming worse than before.

As I walked to work today, I was crying and look up in the sky and asked what can I do?

Sometimes I feel that I don't want to go on anymore. To take my daughter and leave for NZ.

So I decided to seek some solace and I particularly was captured by all the posts by buds.

Reading your posts make me feel less alone and that everyone is going through the same thing.

Anyway, I decided that I must be positive and choose to focus on other things to distract me.

And I am happy that I have an understanding hubby who fought for our rights to move out.

In a few more months time, I hope all these problems with PIL will lessen.

I visited Ichiban Kiddie College yesterday and I must say Principal Elizabeth is extremely warm and easy to talk to. She is understanding and is very upfront with what the centre is doing. I like her honesty.


The place is definitely very clean. I didn't see the kitchen. Hehe cos I forgot about it.

The teachers were very busy that day cos one of them was on leave and hence I didn't get to speak to the teachers.

But after just visiting one centre I am not too sure if I want to put my gal in a childcare. I am so used to her having individual care from my MIL and it's a heart pain for me to see her wait to get her needs addressed.

And the full day hours are just too long.

I will still continue to search for a good playgroup or any2-3hours playgroup before I decide to put her in Ichiban. BUt I am say again Principal Elizabeth is very reassuring.

mylittleprincess:

hi my offspring


i havent seen agape and gloryland cuz they are too far for my MIL to bring my girl to...but i hear agape has quite a good curriculum:)

have u been to any of the CCC to recce? i think different parents have different expectations ..so , u may like/not like the place, while others have different points of view:)

jedamum
ur boy in Nursery or Kindy in BPMC? im thinking of putting my girl there when she is ready for Nursery...

Thank you for all the information. It's so useful. You can write a book on this. I love it!

I am so thankful to all the parents who have shared on this thread.


Frankly, I am unable to share anything as I was half-hearted in my research previously. Because my MIL is very against the idea of sending my gal to school.

However, now looking at what my one-year old has been doing at home, I am very determined to send her to childcare at two or at least some programmes in the day before I come home to play and coach her.