insider:EN:
Insiders, I am glad the missing homeworks are no longer misplaced. I don't want to ask my son to re-do the homework because I dont want to impact his morale. Just like an adult at work, hard pressed for time but put an effort and attack a work with vigour and enthusiasm but ended up the work done was lost through no fault of his. To add on, getting scolded in front of classmates is not a very pleasant experience for him either.
Taking this as a discussion point for my parenting style.
Sometimes, I would use all these unfair situations as training grounds for my kids, PURPOSELY let them sort of 'suffer' (with my kind of so strong character, if want to go against someone I am capable of flipping the roof but such 'strength' should only be shown as a last resort). Sometimes, teachers may have marked / calculated the marks wrongly, accused wrongly, etc and I do know that my kids are not wrong. BUT, I will get them to swallow coz I feel all these humiliation, etc, are in a controlled environment of a school. It is important to know how far your kid can go in terms of 'resilience' training. This kind of matter / stress will multiply in times when they are ready for the working world. The world is not a 'fair' place afterall. How to take and swallow shit at times and just move on in life cheerfully. My 'training' starts from young, that as long as your conscience is clear, then it is alright if others want to mistake you. Just have to swallow the humble pie.
I have a different viewpoint on this. Depending on case to case, making children to swallow the humble pie may not be a training opportunity because young adults are at an age where they may seemed to know a lot but do not have enough 社会经验or人生的历练 to understand that teachers are also individuals who have different ways and styles of \"teaching\" children. And children or young adults may not be mature enough to truly understand that it is okay to swallow the humble pie at times and one do not have to win all the times and that in fact, not winning is actually winning. These are concepts that may be alien to them.
And if the child himself or herself cannot be totally convinced or reconcile internally why the teacher did that to him/her even though he/she did no wrong, it is a bad memory that can stay forever and it definitely impact the self-esteem of the child negatively. He or she may condition himself/herself not to voice out his/her opinion in future. It may not be that bad if the child has a cheerful, optimistic personality but if it's a child that is highly sensitive, the impact of this kind of \"training\" is unimaginable if the parent cannot help to manage the emotions and expectations of the child.
There may also be teachers who sometimes really vent their own frustration on the children. This is from my own experience and in retrospect, although I can \"forgive\" the teacher's behaviour now, it negatively affects my interest and grades for the subject.
If my child face the same thing that I faced before, I will tell him/her that we can go and talk to the teacher together and thrash out the understanding and close the case.
Sometimes, our conscience are clear but the other party cannot see it and may insist in their own mind that we are at fault. It may just take a little face-to-face communication to resolve it. 所谓人言可畏，even if we know we are not at fault, it does not pay to be perceived negatively when it is not the case.
Just my thoughts.
Please pardon the few chinese phrases in between as I can't think of the english equivalent phrases to express the same meaning...;)