Funz:

MIL calls DH Dear Dear. There was once a I came across an SMS when I borrowed DH's phone and for a moment I thought he was having an affair. Msg went something like Dear Dear, you know I love you very much. I pray everyday that all is well with you. ....... Both you and your sister are my life. Love Mum. The first few sentence gave me a shock. Haha.

Oh my, even my DW doesn't send me messages like that. Hahaha...

We can't really control how other people behave, we can only decide how we want to treat others. We should treat them the same way we expect to be treated - with respect, courtesy, etc. If they do not reciprocate, or intentionally make things difficult, then stay away from them to avoid conflicts.


In the case of PILs, hopefully they will realize that if they continue to be difficult, after a while their children/grandchildren will start staying away from them because nobody dares to go near them.

And one more thing, make sure that some day when you become a FIL/MIL yourself, don't behave that way. Be nice to your SIL/DIL!

Ideally, couples should have discussed and agreed on how to deal with each other’s parents before they got married, but it’s not too late to discuss about that if the parents are causing problems.


I think some men forget that when they got married, they are now the head of their own household. He and his wife have become One - whatever affects one party affects the other. Parents, however good their intentions, are still "outsiders" to the marriage. Some mothers are also reluctant to sever their apron strings tied to their sons. That’s why it would be harder to have this separation if the couple is living with the parents.

Wives, don’t challenge your husbands, don’t put him in a spot where he has to choose between his mother and you - you may not like the outcome. Don’t complain, don’t nag. Rather, try to help him see your point of view. Let him know you need him to protect you. Most, if not all men, would like to feel like a hero to their wife.

In most situations, if the marriage is in order, the husband-wife relationship is good, then it’s unlikely that parents could cause much problems. In some cases, it is perhaps the marriage relationship that needs to be fixed first, rather than the one with the parents.

Can I ask all the KSPs here some questions?

1) How involved are your spouse in your children's school work and education?
2) How much do you expect your spouse to be involved?
3) Do you get upset if they are not as involved as you would like them to be?

:thankyou:

markfch:

Daddy or mummy what's the diff?


We're all equally hands-on parents as far as our kids are concerned.

Cos daddy feels outnumbered in here with so many mummies who are very on.
And compared to the mummies here, I'm considered very hands-off.

One advice relating to in-laws (and some say out-laws) I hold on to all these years of marriage is that both husband and wife should always stand together as one when facing either side's parents. We make decision together, stand by each other and always answer as \"we\", so the parents can't find fault with either of us.


Also, each spouse should handle their own parents. i.e. I handle my parents, my wife handle hers.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for the welcome! Yes I'm a daddy, seem like a rare breed in here... :oops:

My daughter is in P3 this year, I suppose that would be dd? Sorry, still not quite used to the lingo here.

Hi Fellow Parents,


This is my first post, though I've joined the forum some time ago. Seems like this PHPPS sub-forum is the most active in here! Just wanna say hello and also thanks for a lot of useful info shared in here.

Just another PHPPS parent