insider:maybe you should consider to sub out those academdc workt to tuitior and let your wife focus on the nurturing part of your child/children. I my self, an alomost full blown early childhood educator, don't believe in giving tuition to my own kids. I may hv the whole universe of patience with the kids of other parents but when come to my kids, the theories just cant translate into practice.
That's why my constant advice to all parents has been if you cant tuition your child with patience that your child deserves, then better sub out to someone else else you will strain all the relationships in a family.
I prefer to hve cordial relationships with my kids and husband than to lose my temper over careless school work. Somehow, I really can manage carelessness by kids of other parents but when come to own kids, my patience tends to be shorter. I know my own shortcoming and weakness and so never attempt to tuition my own kids (btw, I don't really believe in tuition and my kids only have tuition only under absolutely neccesary situation else they are expected to be on their own and shown me their effort...).
You may want to assess your wife's temperament. Maybe she is more suited to a working mum and at stay at home mum. If you ask me to be a stay at home mu, probably I will go crazy coz there's there is so much more than I think I can do than to advocate myself sole for my own kids. So, assessing her temperament and needs may be a good start.
PS: Post written after a 'political' gathering with my stafff (have to entertain more than 100 staff and not easy as these come from different countries with different needs/expectations/etc and so really exhausting). Tiring and really down with fatigue coz of their mostly immatured thiniking and behaviour (up to date, early childhood educators are still not up to that kind of mark that I expect them to be so and I have to patient and try to nurture as much as I can). Working mum does have stress but this stress can be taken as a challenge. If only stay at home mum can take those issues/problems face when handling their child/children at home as challenges, then everything can be tackled positively, else it will be just a chore = frustration = unhappiness in the family = all hell break loose...
She chose to stop working in the Bank in 2001 to look after the kids and also because of working stress. I was initially against it but gave-in.
With the current problem, I encourage her to find work but she refused saying she has no relevant skills now and she wants to see the children complete their PSLE then she will consider.
The 2 children have tuitions for ALL subjects. She bought assesment books to supplement - she wanted to be sure they know what they were taught. Unfortunately - they didn't absorb much from school /tuition + higher incidences of carelessness = Explosion of Anger.
She is aware of her problem fortunately. She listens to no one - only her friends - whom I find is feeding her justifications to behave this way as they too are \"in the same Boat\". I told her that 10 wrongs is not equal 1 right. She must breakaway from this bondage.
I hear Yoga from someone here. Its tough already to have 10mins of her time to chat. She prefers to read the newspapers, watch TV, teach the kids chat with friends over the phone.
The only chat from her is 100% pure Instructional words - even to me nowadays - buy this, fix that, call this, fetch me, kids this time, that time, very little serious heart to heart talk or casual ones.
I felt like a Maid, repairman, telephone operator, taxi driver and ATM all roll into one.
My friend gave this remark that hurts but quite true - she is no longer your wife - she is the mother of your children...
I'm changing for the better and Eugene Low Slice of Life is my uplifter each morning as I began to change myself 1st and I'm seeing my wife in very different light - someone that needs more love from me tirelessly, patiently.
Thank you very one for your kindness and thoughtfulness and pointers.
I learnt alot.
