fifiyeo:

LOLMum:

In-laws will always side with their child (your spouse), regardless of how good a relationship you have with them.

My PILs don't even side with DH. They even sabo him to play politics at home!!

Yes, mine too. PILs never once side my DH, worse they even side BIL rather my DH...thats why things fall so apart in that household.

My PILs should attend parenting couselling course if theres any. They badly need it ........sigh...but it wont make any difference or mend any broken relationships already as irreversibe damage already been done.

straffan23:

Ningning: Don't hate and don't be angry (not for too long, at least). Those two takes up a lot of space in our minds and hearts, and unfortunately, they are difficult to be contained - so it radiates and affects people that we love and care for. I will never like my MIL or SIL, but sometimes I just pity their behaviour and state. Hate is too strong, and hate will only eat into myself and make me unable to be the true person I am. So I put them in one corner... but they are not worth me compromising my true self. I try very hard to be positive and happy.

Dear straffan23,

Unfortunately, till now i still hate them coz at one point they had made my life so misery then i was so tired that i told my DH let me go. At point of my life then, i just badly wanted to be alone. But also at the same time god has blessed me a girl too. So i was determined to stay put then. I set up my own tiny business when my girl can attend childcare thus breaking away from the evils.

I wish i can be like you.... but i cannot coz there is too much tears, fear(coz our main income comes from that family business) and very humiliating, heartaching moments. I can never forget the \"winner look\" of my SIL when ever we took scoldings from PILs coz of her. All those fightings that involve umbrellas, cane , throwings of things at us, curse our baby dead, scold me slut and so much more........ throughout my this life, i can never forget.

I fought hard and now i have my peaceful life with my girl and hubby. As long as i do not see anyone of them, i am happy enough.

Thanks......yes..Be happy....

fifiyeo:

Yah ning ning, some PILs are like that. They think they can abuse you by saying whatever they want. Then pretend they never did anything wrong.


Anway, so many quarrels recently over at my side. So sian!

mmm, yes thats what they always do to me then, abused me and yes pretend it never happen or worse \"black face \" at me as if i am the one that was wrong.

SIL somemore used to tell my DH do not believe me coz i am a \"Big Liar\" .....Me and my DH work together daily then oh..i lie to backstab her ...how? with my DH with me all the time and i manage to lie? i got better things to do then to take \"revenge\" on her. Crazy! As usual My DH ignored and told her not to be so “无聊”。Then we countdown, coz less than 15 minutes, the FIL would call first and followed closely by MIL's call separately to \"bomb\" us for \"bullying\" their princess. And if we defend ourselves, MIL will go into a crazy state, she will yell ,curse viciously over our life and cry loudly over phone. As usual, At this crazy stage, We do not need to reason with her anymore but remain silent, coz she will just continue to yell and cry without listening to you. If we chose to hang off silently first, she will complaint we rude. All these , all these all becoz of just only a single lie from that SIL to smear us.

Well, now i no longer have to go through all those \"yelling and cursing\" anymore. But even without me now, siblings still quarrel. The point is before our marriage, they also often quarrel.

But i have to confess here \"i will forever hate that SIL\", the hatred is so deep that i forever will not want to see her \"face\" for my remaining years.

Sigh…so many of us have so much frustrations on our PILS, MIL, SILS…some SILs they also played the role of DILs in their hubby family. So why they behaved badly to their sister in laws in their own family.


For the past so many years, i have endured with their nonsense, accusations that included all sorts of the unthinkable like ran all my DH money away with otherman , steal money from business lah, blah blah…so much so much more to mention…theres tears, anger and so deep is that hatred…

When one of SILs pregnant with her first baby, my MIL was worried that i may purposely made her miscarriage by perhaps shifting the furniture in their house (PILs house) or maybe do anything evil to cause her to miscarriage , MIL did not asked me and my DH back for dinner at their home since day one that SIL pregnant till she gave birth.OMG… This SIL did not even stay at the same household with them. Isn’t this crazy? If they had treated me good, why have to worry i will make her daughter miscarriage to this extent? If i am so so evil, i will not have endured them liao for years!

Whatever bad things that happened to anyone of them (PILS and SILS), MIL will blame me for causing them. Most of time , all those bad things that happened , I have no involvement at all . But PILs can come out with the most ridiculous blame just to have me shoulder all the bad things.

I used to think in a coward way that if I kept quiet , endure and they will not touch me anymore. But no i was very very wrong then, it was like a cycle. If too long the four din take medications, they will "action" again.

Now i am happy to be myself!! What "ran away all DH money with other man" pui!! Our marriage is still strong and happy and we have a girl. I knew i will never regret as i have learnt that on ppl that purposely cause misery to my life why i have to stay related with them? If they have treated me as a family member , will they hurt me? Will we purposely hurt our own family members ?

i treasure my peaceful life now.

ningning:

straffan23:

My SIL is very short tempered and irritable - she kicked MIL's friends out of the house because they were \"too noisy\"; refused to let my MIL talk to their neighbors, etc. MIL once said I was much easier to get along compared to her and this was when all hell broke lose. Suddenly she thinks I am a competition and started flaying everything that has to do with me. She is in her 40s but can say things like \"nobody loves me. then how then how? nobody loves me!\" So, I always think, this :siam: attitude is very good.... :imanangel:

Yes, i can understand when you say you are viewed a competition and things starts to fall apart since then right? sigh......I been through all these, all these sickening \"competitor\" things liao years back....Before married still ok, after marriage all change face liao. I even purposely do no makeup, dressed simple whenever we met and i was not supposed to talk to their relatives. I was supposed to hide alone in a dark corner when there are gatherings. Whenever, some ppl try to talk to me, they will bring them far away from me. Since day one on my wedding day, i already been treated like this in gathering. These SILs are very insecure ppl, if the same sex ppl came into their family, they feel insecure. They cannot tolerate the presence of same sex ppl, but they can get along very well with BIL. One of my SIl is single and very available, she is same like your SIL , 40 years old already, she behaves like a \"child\" especially when she talks to her father. Disgusting......ER XIN........

Lucky now see no evil , hear no evil...........

Somemore my MIL everytime tell me her two daughters are very \"kind hearted\" and \"very care\" for their brother and they are very \"nice\" to us. She also told me they talked very \"polite\" to their brother liao... dun know is she crazy or pretend deaf......they always yelled and slammed their phone when converse with my DH! And worse MIL like to stress to me then that \"whatever mistakes i made, the two always forgive me\"!!! :stupid: OMG! what mistakes i have made?? Put words in my mouth and later say forgive me?? Siao right?? how can someone always talk ill about us infront of her to be very nice to us? How nice can they be? As long as they do not badmouthed us and put words in our mouth, i really appreciate and make my offerings to these two gods.

Just my karma to have the most crazy SILs and PILs in this island. :sad:

straffan23:

My SIL is very short tempered and irritable - she kicked MIL's friends out of the house because they were \"too noisy\"; refused to let my MIL talk to their neighbors, etc. MIL once said I was much easier to get along compared to her and this was when all hell broke lose. Suddenly she thinks I am a competition and started flaying everything that has to do with me. She is in her 40s but can say things like \"nobody loves me. then how then how? nobody loves me!\" So, I always think, this :siam: attitude is very good.... :imanangel:

Yes, i can understand when you say you are viewed a competition and things starts to fall apart since then right? sigh......I been through all these, all these sickening \"competitor\" things liao years back....Before married still ok, after marriage all change face liao. I even purposely do no makeup, dressed simple whenever we met and i was not supposed to talk to their relatives. I was supposed to hide alone in a dark corner when there are gatherings. Whenever, some ppl try to talk to me, they will bring them far away from me. Since day one on my wedding day, i already been treated like this in gathering. These SILs are very insecure ppl, if the same sex ppl came into their family, they feel insecure. They cannot tolerate the presence of same sex ppl, but they can get along very well with BIL. One of my SIl is single and very available, she is same like your SIL , 40 years old already, she behaves like a \"child\" especially when she talks to her father. Disgusting......ER XIN........

Lucky now see no evil , hear no evil...........

CookiesMonster:

i wonder what is worse....


having PILs who worship their daughter but treat their son as ATM or having a SIL who wants to get all the credits but not the work

i totally agreed with you. :goodpost: Yes, yes, mine is exactly what you mention. Yes, worship their daughter \"princess\" like god but treat my DH like dirt. Making him to do all the hardwork in business, earning almost the same salary with his sisters yet the two princesses earned all the credits. They relax relax go facials, sliming, shopping, overseas holidays all sponsored by the business. whereas we have to pay our daily expenses from our salary and we live a simple life. Somemore my hubby has no say in the business. The two sisters have a much greater importance and say in their family business. And they used to \"attack\" me as when they want. Initially i was confused coz one will try to be \"sweet\" to me and another will \"attack\" me. Very evil SISTER IN LAWS. To PILs , they are angel.

:mad:

straffan23:

You cannot stand the ribbon? That's already the best. Threw away the ribbon came the white string (from an old bolster tie)... threw away that came some other string... then completely hide the string in her coin purse... play hide and seek and act cute summore! this is only the tie-the-baby issue. then there's ... :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored:


Btw, those ribbon came from my curtains!!

OMG! sigh....old folks sometimes are really difficult to understand......

As long as they did not verbally abused you like mine .... still can REN...

mine is not worth at all to REN coz intially i tot REN is the best way to handle their craziness, but they all get bolder and bolder....till i had enough and broke away from them. Being with them all those years , are the most unbearable part of my life so far. When i looked back, to REN them in those days were the most foolish thing i did in my life so far. I was educated and brought up to be filial and courteous, respect to elder....so i bear with all those nonsense and unhappiness they brought into my life then. I even told my hubby not to talk or quarrel with them over my issue but this only condone them to further \"bully' me.

I used to be very depressed with life then but i was lucky i was given a chance to run my own small business thus breaking away from them. I am reborn now as i am much happier now. Life has never been this light now compared during those unbearble years then.

I do not know whether are there others here that face the same tedious, unbearable relationships with their PILs as me. Be strong, because of my girl, i had chose to cut off ties with them as i do not want her to have a depressed, tearful mummy. Its hard when i had started to run my own small business but all efforts are worthwhile.

straffan23:

Of course my DH knows how I feel, but he is one of those DS that feels mother is saint and almighty - there were many heated arguments over the MIL issues, mainly because she insist to be \"THE MIL\" and have a say over everything. At the lowest point, I seriously thought I was suicidal!! :yikes:


But thankfully I have survived; and luckily being a FTWM means our contact is minimum. My husband also works long hours and is naturally an introvert, so that means he seldom initiate activity. And when he does, I try to let it be my TIME OFF :siam: - go for facial, shopping, etc.

I learnt that we should never ever complain about the MIL. Mother almighty will likely to be innocent, weak, silent party... while we rattle on and on... If we don't have anything good to say, just keep quiet, \"REN\" and ignore. Ever heard of the phrase, \"Ignorance is bliss\"...

You really have my respect. If i were to see my baby have a ribbon over her waist thing...... and feeding, gosh, i cant REN. Yes, everything i can endure even the trying to beat me with umbrella (several months afte the incident, i still forgive her then went back for dinner)... Sorry if it is on my baby's issue , i cannot REN.

northernstar:

Dear Northernstar,

sigh................yes my hubby did try hard to shield me and tell them off not to \"put words in my mouth\" but end up MIL took an unmbrella wanted to bash me!! She cried loudly and said she wanted to teach me a good lesson for \"changing her son\" !! crazy isnt? MIL and SILs they always imagine me to be \"evil\". I knew she is crazy but to this extent, is more than i can stomach already.

same lah........mine also knew what i do not like yet worse purposely do it to spite me. They once a while will poke me and see how i will react. But at last no more tearful days liao, since i cut off with them at the expense of my girl now three years old, she only know one granny -- her maternal granny. But i have no regrets at all. What's th point having these ppl in my life, when their main purpose of together as \"family\" is only wanted to make sure and see that i unhappy. Nowadays, only my hubby interact with them in all occasions even CNY. I am happy to be at home with girl..PEACE....