It’s very interesting to see how this is all this is panning out.


I didn’t go to school here and come from a country where no-one has tuition or does assessment books at home. I could never understand when I first moved here why so many mothers work when their children are very young (because they have access to maids & grand-parents) then give up work or cut back when the children are in primary school. I even know people who gave up work just for the PSLE year. In most countries it’s the other way around, you stay at home when your children are very small then go back to work once they start school.

I am trying very hard not to get caught up in the whole thing but we do send our daughter for Chinese tuition. Actually I think for my daughter’s school they are giving too little homework; she has maths less than once a week, English occasionally and never any Chinese. The only regular thing is spelling and ting xie. I do think it would be helpful to give them more to do at home - especially when they have so much free time in the afternoon. It will be much harder for them to get into the habit of doing homework later if they haven’t been doing it.

Did anyone else feedback to the school on the late information about the parent-teacher meetings next week? I know that we were given the dates at the beginning of term but I didn’t receive the note until yesterday. When I called up last week they didn’t seem very bothered about it. It is quite unreasonable to give us less than one week’s notice and tell us that school will be closed (which us P1 parents wouldn’t have known).


I also don’t have any information on the Olympics Day next week - I’ve had to plan a business trip around guesses for both events; do they not appreciate that many of us are working?

Up until now they have been very good about keeping us informed but it seems to have fallen apart over the past few weeks.

KAN:

yes, the school teacher did do a few creative writing with the class. but looking at dd's work, i think she does not know how to write Any advise?

Can I be controversial and suggest that if the teacher really hasn't given them much guidance or practice, then just let her go in & take the test without any \"coaching\". The teacher needs to realise that it is her job not yours to teach your child. If she doesn't do well it's not going to be the end of the world

How about trying to find someone who can just come & speak Chinese to her a few days a week. Not tuition as such but just a good Chinese speaker. You might need to hire a tutor or maybe you can find someone who wants to exchange English for Chinese - a mainland Chinese student who wants to practise their English?

lizuan76:

Hi parents of P1,


How are your child copying in math P1? Last night my girl told me she can't finish her math task and she is the last one to submit the paper. Hai so stress even in P1 nowadays.

Is it time to send her for math class? :idea:

Some of the concepts that they have to grasp for addition/subtraction are not simple so I wouldn't worry too much at this stage unless she really doesn't understand anything.

I picked up on some homework questions a few weeks ago that my daughter couldn't do on her own and emailed the teacher to let her know. She called me back to say that she had realised a lot of them didn't understand so she would review it with them again.

I would suggest checking with the teacher first before starting on the tuition route.

Whenever I have interviewed transfer maids you can guarantee that the majority of those coming from local families will say that the reason they want a transfer or the reason for one of their previous transfers is because they cannot handle the grandmother!


I’m lucky in that my m-i-l does interfere but now generally not in anything that bothers me too much so I let it ride. I am still feeling the effects of her past actions on my daughter’s eating habits but that’s another (very long) story.

I think we need to put ourselves in the maid’s shoes sometimes as they really are stuck in the middle.

Gluttonish:

Yup we have a clear list of what to do when she is there, which are really simple household chores. And we have explicitly told her that her main priority is my kids, not the household chores.


I can't count on my in-laws to help as they are not particular about my kid's meal, what she eats, and how much she eats etc. Which is part of the reason why i hired a maid to make sure she has the right food to eat, and to have someone to supervise her while she eats.

I'm now contemplating whether to get a portable survelliance camera so that i can monitor them.

I think you need to talk to your in-laws. Maybe it's not their priority but that may be causing the problem as they may expect her to carry on doing housework rather than chasing your daughter. It is very hard for maids to manage that kind of situation. I have always told mine that they must tell me if something happens where my mother-in-law is going against what I have told them but it's not easy.

I would suggest that you discuss with them and explain your concerns and what you have asked the maid to do. You might want your husband to talk to them as well.

Putting a camera to watch your in-laws might be a bit tricky

Funx3:

Gluttonish:

Maids! with or without them also headache! For some reason, my new maid who has joined me for a week doesn't place my child as her priority!


She goes over to my in-laws house whenever we go to work, and when my DD goes to her pri sch, as there will be no one at home. My DS will arrive in Aug, so she will continue to be at my in-laws house with the newborn after my maternity leave.

She seems to place household chores as her priority, and ignores my instructions whenever i ask her to ensure my DD finishes her meals. Is it really that hard for her to understand that she caring for my children is her main job, instead of busying herself with the household chores at my in-law's place? so pissed! My DD has weight issues, which is why I'm very concerned about her finishing her 3 meals.

Can U Get Your In-laws to check on Her? that is Assuming they R at home.

Also just check, Is she Being Task with Busying Herself for Your in-laws household chores while she's there? Maybe if she cannot finish, kena scolding, or things like that?

Whichever the case, IMHO try to rope in your in-laws help. Or Detail a clear list of things to do at your in-laws, if need be, with time schedule to make sure she spend sufficient time on the Main tasks u assigned her.

Hope that helps.
:celebrate:

I would agree - list down what she should be doing then go through it with both her & your in-laws. Some maids are scared of the older generation and may feel that they have to keep busy or be confused by being told different things by different people. Make sure that there is no miscommunication before taking it any further.

phankao:

ksi:

I agree, not all maids want days off. Especially those new to the country, they really have no where to venture during their off days, so giving them mandatory off days is in fact a burden to them. Since it is an employment contract, it would be good that off-day is maintained as a mutually-agreed term between the employer and employee instead of making it a compulsory item.....I always believe different strokes for different people.

Actually it's compulsory in the contract for Indonesian maids. We sign the contract drawn up by the Indonesian embassy at each renewal of passport / work permit.

The only definite off day my maid goes though is Indonesian day and Hari Raya. And she goes at will in/out the house everyday anyway! Apart from the times she's definitely needed, lah.

I think the key is that all maids are given the option to take days off without feeling any pressure. My current maid transferred to us last year and one of her reasons for leaving her previous employers was that they promised her 2 days off/month but never let her take it. She now has two days but occasionally only takes one if she doesn't want to spend any money. She is on good terms with her previous employer who understood that they didn't live up to their side of the bargain and therefore lost her. She was lucky to have the intelligence and the guts to do something about the situation but not all maids do - or can if they are never given a day off.

ExpatMom:

When you go to the US, you will find that people do not have a maid unless they are quite rich (especially with the minimum wage laws).


On the other hand, there are plenty of services to help working parents. You can get a nanny that comes during the day or at night, but doesn't live with you. Unlike Singapore, there are tons of people willing to babysit (especially high school students who want to make a little extra money) since there is a big demand for babysitting services. However, they come to watch the kids-- not to clean your house or do laundry etc. Cleaning services are readily available, and most working parents put their kids in daycare or after school care (a full-time daycare in the US costs $900-$1200 USD per month... and that's a daycare that doesn't even have to teach anything, just watches your kids for you).

But really, for the most part, people in America do their own housework after they get back from work. It's more economical than paying others to do it when you have to pay at least the minimum hourly wage.

I have to admit, I was pretty shocked to hear that maids here only get to take home $450/mo. It's no wonder there are so many people with maids as it is more economical to have one than it would be to have a bunch of services do these things for you. In contrast, in the US, a live-in maid can pull in as much as $25-30k USD per year.

You have to put their salaries in perspective. I am in the process of recruiting someone for our telemarketing team in Manila - she is a graduate and a very smart lady but her on-target starting salary will be less than SGD900/month. If you look at it like that, $450 a month with room & board included is not so bad.