MMM:

Yes, her case sounds pretty severe. Hopefully with 1st trimester passed, her condition will be significantly better. Has she tried small but frequent meals? My first trimester with the 2 girls were bad. The smell of the canteen can make me puke. Also while people enjoy their food at the restaurant, the look of it makes me sick. The \"blessing\" is that after delivery, I don't have much to lose since I was \"losing weight\" while pregnant.

But I share the view that depression is the key concern for her especially with those issues going on. With or without a job also another factor to worry..... Really not easy.

Maybe ask her to take it slow. Take one step at a time and buy time. If she really cannot take it, then resign. Provide your emotional support to her. Money though important cannot buy everything. In situations like that, we got to step back.

How about asking her to join some of those motherhood forum. So that she can talk about the problems she faced. She might come across other mothers who are in the same condition and that will provide some support on how to handle and emotionally as well.

Yup, she's tried small and frequent meals. She was also constantly losing weight up till 13 weeks. Thankfully when the doctor weighed her yesterday, she's put on 1kg! I'm really happy for that.

Yup, i've advised her to go online and read up on what other mothers are going through. She's not really in the mood these days, but hopefully while she's on her 2 week MC, she'll take the time to do some homework. I believe if she sees that other mothers go through the same things, she will feel that it's normal and won't feel so dejected. (she thinks everyone else have easy pregnancies)

puff:

Bring home $3800 can be enuff provided
1.your new HDB loan monthly installment is fully paid using CPF n no cash involved
2. You dun have to pay for car liability eg car loan , rd tax
3. You dun have excessive insurance policies
4. You dun take up Reno loan

You can also consider rent out a room of your flat to increase income. Happiness is wat $ can't buy

Thanks so much, I really needed to hear that.

1. Thankfully when we booked our flat, the 4-room flats had already sold out, so we were forced to buy a 3-room flat. Although small, I'm very thankful that our CPF can fully cover for it.
2. We don't have a car, although we have a very high reliance on taxis.
3. Not sure what's excessive. Mine is about $200 a month, hers is $300 a month.
4. We'll probably get a no-interest loan with a perpetual payback period from our parents.

aaaah, my wife is a hoping-to-be-SAHM. As a future-SAHM’s husband, I’m curious to know, and hope it’s okay to ask - what’s the income range of your husbands?

MMM:

This sounds really challenging. Can you elaborate what kind of discomfort is she facing? Morning sickness should usually go off by 12 weeks. But I also heard of friends who got it beyond that. For some other discomfort, maybe try talking to doctor to see what can help to reduce that. Maybe some of the ks mums here can offer advice as well.

But from the way I read your message was your wife as a result of the discomfort dread going to work. I was just wondering if after giving birth, will she dread returning to work as she prefers to spend time with baby. Sorry if this sounds unsympathetic. I am a FTWM and I salute SAHM for their commitment however, affordablity as we can see really depends on one's lifestyle and what you want.

Personally, I have gone through 3 pregnancies. 2 with complications where babies are premature. The 3rd was bad. Nausea and bad appetite and then after 28th week, bp issues. I usually have to go on 2 months mc before delivery. Baby was premature and had to stay on in hospital for 2 weeks while I had to stay on for 1 week for my bp to stabilise. It cost us 10K+ for that stay. Not all can be covered by CPF. Luckily I had a supportive boss. I had colleagues who had pregnancy complications and were missing most of the time. Some were working from home during the period. So i guess this will depends on your wife's profession and whether her co. or boss is the supportive sort.

For me, I believe in one's mindset. Eg. I feel that single income is big no no for us due to our financial commitments. So despite the pregnancy complications, it never cross my mind to give up my job. Expenses will only increase when baby comes along and it is a upward trend. When you stop paying for milkpowder and diapers, you will start paying for enrichment lessons.... There is no end to it. But again, this depends on the lifestyle that you choose.

30k by today's cost of living is really not alot.

My wife's nausea was quite severe. Not just the feeling of nausea but full blown vomiting after every meal. Almost had to be hospitalised but luckily it relaxed out a little. Now with medication, she only vomits maybe once in two days, but is already past the 1st trimester so it's unfortunate she still has to endure this. Other symptoms she's going through are breathlessness, dizziness, headaches, cramps, constipation and piles. She finds it hard to focus on her work while undergoing all this at the same time.

Her boss is not the supportive sort. Strange considering that she herself is a mother. She told my wife to plan her MCs in the future to make sure it doesn't clash with other colleagues' leave. Ridiculous right?! How to plan such things? So end up my wife feels guilty if she has to take MC. This unsupportive work environment leads to her feeling more upset. it's a real pity, because considering the work that she's doing, her salary is really not bad.

My largest worry for her is that her character is the pessimistic sort. The hormones must have elevated this to a new level because I suspect she's going to have pre-natal depression. Our gynae feels the same way, but doesn't want to put her on anti-depressants just yet. He's given her a two week MC for her to ride out the symptoms. By that time she'll be in her 16th week. If nothing changes, he might have to give her anti-depressant medication (i'm rather worried how this will affect the baby).

Sigh.. I too, think that it's very difficult to be a single income family in Singapore. It's not like I'm earning $10k. I barely felt that $30k was enough for a new flat, let alone a new flat + a newborn.

Hopefully the hormones wears off and she feels better about her job. There's no guarantee anyway that she'll feel better if she quits her job. With our income cut in half, our purse strings might very well be her new worry.

Sorry to borrow TS’s thread. I have a related question/situation so hope I can hear some people’s opinion.


My wife and I are both still working, she’s 14 weeks pregnant now. It’s been a tough 1st trimester, and hopefully her symptoms will improve. However, she’s not optimistic and feels dread when she’s going to work. As such she’s thinking about quitting and just wants to focus on giving birth. I empathise with her and wish that I could give her a good life too, but my take home salary is about $3,800.

Furthermore, our new flat is coming about the same time as the baby. So the costs of baby stuff and renovation will all be coming at the same time. We have savings about $30k, but dunno will it be enough anot.

Of course, the health and happiness of my wife and baby is top priority, but at the back of my mind i’m also thinking, if she can just hold out until she gives birth, it will help so much! Women are entitled to like 4 months maternity leave and get paid to rest! It’s like free money…

Has anyone been in this situation before? What was the final choice you made and how did you cope?

you haven’t tried Groupon? you’re missing out! I’ve bought tons of stuff on Groupon with no problems so far. The only incidents i’ve experienced are as follows:


1. Teeth Whitening - too many people buy, so could only make an appointment 1 month later. (i notice some pple said that the spa/salons try to hardsell, but this particular place gave me a free lifetime membership for future purchases and didn’t try to hardsell me. was a very pleasant experience although teeth whitening is alot more painful than you’d imagine)

2. Famous hotel chicken rice - also too many people buy, and i couldn’t make a reservation within the deadline. the hotel was nice enough to extend the deadline for an additional month.

3. Hotel stay - upon registration at the counter, they told me they were oversold that day. Which was a blessing in disguise because they upgraded me to a family suite with a sea view.

My advice, get a Groupon account now!!!

hi everybody. i’m new here. my firstborn will be out in October, but thought i’d better start reading up early so i know what I’m going to encounter. haha, too kiasu anot? don’t even know the gender yet

well, technically not a dad yet. kid being born in October.


hi everyone!