phankao:

I personally did not like classical music and lessons were a drudgery, but I managed to finish g8, not bc my parents forced me to, but bc it was expected of me somehow, that was what I felt. I did quite ok. I continued to tinker with the piano off & on in church choir and playing for church, but never quite practising again, except to play for fun.

After the kids were born, I didn't get to touch the piano much, until my kids asked to learn music themselves. Thankfully, even after not playing seriously for a good 6 or 7 years, I managed to pick it up quite easily - like how you can't forget how to ride a bike. I've mostly forgotten how to play the guitar which I used to perform alot on in my younger days though.

Interestingly, 2 of our kids seem to do well in music.

I think my son does not like classical music so much as well, seems he is more interested in the popular songs , Jazz or something which is loud, :lol:

Blobbi:

piano24, I'm not sure if I'm reading you correctly - you're concerned about your son's perseverance and discipline in the face of difficulty, and you'd like to look for a way to foster this attitude?

If this is what you're asking, then I think it's what all parents would love to inculcate! Playing a musical instrument is one way of fostering this attitude, although it's not the only way. If you're sure you want him to learn about perseverance through piano playing, based on what you've written, be prepared for a long drawn battle. But so long as you've got your plans drawn and you're prepared to dig in (I think quite a few parents here have advised that slowing down may actually re-ignite interest), it may just work.

Otherwise, you may want to switch tactics (or even work concurrently) with something else that your son likes. For eg, if he likes building Lego - you can dig out complicated projects and encourage him to complete, or go for robotics classes etc.

Either way, he will need lots of encouragement (sounds like you're doing a great job on this btw).

I'm one of those who took my grade 8 exam and never played a single note again if I could help it. There were years when I loved it a lot, but the last mile became too much of a slog, and when it came with coercion, my need to rebel took over :roll:.

Yes, you are quite right , I am really not looking for his pass of the exam , what I want him to learn are perseverance and discipline, at the same time, enjoying the experience. Giving up the piano is fine to me if he finds that he really does not like it and he would like to do something else. But I can not see any sign that he is ready to take the perseverance yet in anything else as well.

I heard that some kids passed their piano exam and then never touched the piano again, I can imagine they should not really enjoyed the playing, but if you love it so much before, it is really hard to totally imagine the hardship of the last mile.

deminc:

piano24:

I do not even think about the exam, and he is with the slow progress for quite a while already, he is still interested in music, but all those bonus like discipline and persistent , that are hard to him.

I agree there is no much motivation has been inspired, and he is the only one who plays piano at home now, which is so unfair to him , what are the good ways to inspire it though, it is just not easy for the parents who do not play the instruments.

My parents didn't play the instrument either, but they sent both my sister and I for lessons and imposed daily practices. I loved it, my sister hated it. I can't say why, except that when I play the piano, it takes me to another world and I will forget everything around me. For me practicing was never a chore and I can spend one hour just on doing scales. On the other hand, my sister hated every minute of it. Till today she has phobia of the piano, but she definitely still very much like listening to music, including classical music.

So maybe your son likes to listen to music? Doesn't mean he likes the piano. It takes time to find out.

Yes, he likes to hear the music, I am not sure if he does not like to play piano or just because the piece is hard for him and he would like to walk away, need more time to find out. And I tried to inspire him a little bit more to motivate him, since I did not play any instrument, so really a headache there.

Donkey Kong:

I play the piano plus few others, but my kid doesn't like at all. So I pick up wrong baby at KK? :? I like to read my kid doesn't.


I quit halfway and continue learning without taking exams. I find piano exams are stressful and of no use to me becoz I never wish to be music teacher. Just play for fun, like kids playing XBox or PSP.

I do not even think about the exam, and he is with the slow progress for quite a while already, he is still interested in music, but all those bonus like discipline and persistent , that are hard to him.

I agree there is no much motivation has been inspired, and he is the only one who plays piano at home now, which is so unfair to him , what are the good ways to inspire it though, it is just not easy for the parents who do not play the instruments.

shirley.tamzil:

My DS is 9 too, interest in his piano is also dwindling, not sure if it has to do with the fact that school work starts to pile up from lower pri to higher pri, or they are growing up and startinng to have their own minds now. I don't really push him for his piano and have also pass on my 'low' expectations to his piano teacher. I think for a child to learn music, it's more for their enjoyment and an alternative for them to de-stress in future if they enjoy it.

Hi, Shirley:
I agree with you, it is more for his enjoyment and an alternative for them to reduce the stress in the future if they enjoy it. But currently he really does not enjoy it, he told me that his friends do not play piano and he does not want to practise as well. I know it is common for the standard kid to go up and down , I am trying to figure out if now is the time for us to do some change , hopefully it is better for him in the future finally

sakura_2009:

DS is also 9 yrs old, has been learning piano for close to 2 years. He had lots of interest initially (for the 1st one year or so), but his interest started dwindling when the going gets tougher...the theory lessons gets more difficult, the practical also gets tougher...his piano teacher also ups her expectations - no more 'play play' - DS started to get very careless over his theory, keeps making mistakes and complained that it is very difficult etc., he is also not serious when playing the piano - keep forgetting the right fingering, gives lots of excuses when practising - hands to small, cannot play certain keys :? hand pain, tired...etc, and a thousand and one more excuses

It doesn't help when the piano teacher decided that he should try for the ABRSM Grade 1 exam in March. The teacher felt that he should be able to make it if he puts in more effort and be 'more serious' in his lessons. I tried explaining to her that DS seems to be losing interest but she insisted that DS can make it if he tries hard enough. Oh well, ok - so I registered him for both theory & practical. The few months before the exam was really tough for both DS & me. It was an uphill task and we 'battle' almost every night just to get him practise 'willingly'. I cajoled, threatened, even 'bribed' him :roll: just to get him practise his exam pieces. Anyway, to cut the story short, he sat for both exams and managed to get a 'Pass' (a strong Pass though). He seemed to be very disappointed that after putting so much effort, he only got a Pass (he was expecting to get at least a Credit).

Honestly at that point I thought that if he said he wants to give up piano, I'm quite ready to let it go. Maybe his interest is really gone, maybe he just don't have that 'music' inclination in him, maybe I should just put his music school fees to better use...but to my HUGE surprise, he said he wanted to continue and he will try harder so that he can get at least a Credit in Grade 2!! I'm quite speechless at that moment...but oh well, it just shows that some kids can be quite resilient

So there you go...he continues with his lessons and for some strange reasons, he seems to be enjoying his lessons better than before....

I never think about the exam for my son, he just does some home practices but he always chooses the easiest songs. at the same time, like you said, he always has a lot excuses there, finger tired, too hard, not sound good... I am ready to let the lesson go if he shows any strong interest in something else and would like do some hard work on that, but I have not found any of them yet. So I am wondering if the time is right now to let it go.

adhdadhd:

Hi there,
9 year old and you expect him to behave like grown adult? In fact, even if a grown Master Degree engineer, would also try to avoid difficult tasks, and needed training to cope with adversities.
Learning piano, is like learning in school, the diff is, it is not part of MOE core focus.
Our children already been victims of \"good\" education system, let the guy have a break, give him back his 童真。
If I were you, I will assess if he really passionate about guitar, show empathy for his interest, stop and reflect, why you choose piano for him? Piano skill is quite expensive, no point wasting if he is really not interested. But must coach him, encourage him to overcome tough pieces, inspire him using youtube video... if needed stop for awhile for him to reflect, if he missed piano, he will come back to you.. BTW, guitar is also not easy hoh.
Key thing about learning is, let him choose what he likes to learn, and not you want him to. Force will get reaction (Newton law of reaction), a teacher that is not pushy is good. Don't decide on teacher, the child will pick his own teacher. (My DS do too). Give him time, dont rush, explain to him why piano over guitar...

I know it is hard to face the difficulty to anybody, but for his new pieces that are a little bit complicated, maybe not really, just not so easy since the teacher really did not challege him at all, and he is much slower than the others , and still, he would like only choose the easiest piece to practise, the teacher told him he has to face the hard part and practise 4 or 5 more times, then he will be fine. But he never has the patience on that.

Regarding his interest in Guitar, he does not know how hard it is to play it, I think, he thought it is cool since his friend shows him playing Guitar before.

I know it is natual to go away from the hardship , and I tried to record all the pieces he played and show him youtube and others from the website, encourage him a lot, but he is 9 years now, I want him to do something by himself, not companied by his mom, and that is why I am really considering his piano leasson now, is it the time to let him stop it as he said, or I need more effort to help him, but how long will this help needed, does this help will really give him some good result finally?

Hi,

My son is 9 years old, and he has played piano for more than 2.5 years now, he is always interested in the popular songs, and he hums and practices them by himself if there is such songs in his weekly practice, but he is too picky, for the other songs which is a little bit harder or sound so so, he really wants to stay away from them, even told me that he does not want to play piano any more, he wants to play Guitar instead, I know he just thinks that playing Guitar looks cool and easy, if we start the lesson for him , he will want to quit it even sooner. He is really a guy who does not want to face the difficulty at all.

I would like to let him keep on playing piano since I really want him to learn the lesson that he need face the difficuly and finally overcome it. At the same time, I do not want him to feel like he is forced to play, what could I do to help him ? Let him stop the lesson for several months? or let him go on with the lesson, or even change the teacher, we are staying with this teacher all the time, and has no experienc with the other teacher, she is not so pushy, but really focus on the foundamation of playing , finger practicing and so on.so I am not sure how much could the teacher do to inspire the interest in the kid.