limlim:

Why do we need OWC?


Got this from some forum..
[quote]
Title: Revise Women's Charter so the wronged are not punished
Source: Straits Times
Author:

Legal News Archive

I REFER to yesterday's report, 'Allow men to claim alimony, says ex-NMP'. It is sad to note that the Women's Charter remains unchanged over the years. It was first drafted under social conditions that are totally different from what we see now. Now women are more educated, independent and earn as much as men or more.

A review should be considered, just as the Penal Code was revised not long ago to reflect the current environment.

Recently, my friend decided to end his marriage after he found out his wife had been cheating on him. She was awarded more than half his assets although she makes quite a lot herself.

Does this charter protect the weak or the strong?

Also, alimony should have a time frame attached and not be a life sentence.

I am not biased against women but I hope the Women's Charter will be revised so the wronged are not punished and protection goes to the needy.

Tan Boon Tat

[/quote]Generally, the division of matrimonial assets is dependent on each parties' contribution. If the wife is earning quite a lot, then it's likely that she had contributed substantially to the acquisition of the matrimonial assets.

Alimony is a different matter from the division of assets. It can be awarded to the husband as well, though rarely so. Alimony will end after re-marriage. In a recent case, the judge considered the wife's prospect of remarriage when deciding on the alimony.

Women's Charter is meant to sort out the affairs of the couple and their children in the event of divorce or separation. It is not meant to punish the \"wrongdoer\". It's not so straight forward for the court to determine wrongdoing in domestic affairs.

Yes, the younger they are, the more apparent the difference. But I think it matter less these days since most would have at least 3 years of preschool education by the time they’re in P1. Most times, you can’t tell the difference by the time they’re in primary school.

2ppaamm:

. I've seen too many who know they are good at a subject (e.g. Maths, Science etc) but have no clue what or who they want to be. Shouldn't we look for what we want to be first and then use education to get us there? For most people, it is the other way around. I find that so strange...


Gifted or not, I aim to help my kids find a dream or their calling or their purpose in life.

How true. During my time, many of us do science because that's just expected. But doing well in it is just 1 aspect. Up to the time I finished my A levels, I always thought that I will continue doing maths and science at uni. Afterall, I was doing well in the subject and even won some prizes in interschool competitions. There just wasn't any reason to do anything else even though I was totally hopeless in my practical. I could do well up till A levels because I was strong in the theory part. When I looked at the questions for the practical, most of the time, I knew the answers before doing the experiment. But that won't do in uni. Though I enjoyed the subjects, I won't be able to make a career of it. I'm not suited for the lab or teaching. I only realised what I wanted to do after taking on a temp job after my A level. My classmate who was consistently 2 grades below me in most subjects went on to do science in uni. It wasn't that difficult to qualify for science at that time. She got into the direct PhD program after her 1st degree and completed it within a relatively short time. She enjoyed the practical part of it and end up doing very well in research, heading the operations for 1 of the largest pharmaceutical companies.

At the same time, I also know quite a number, some with straight As, who went to do the popular courses like law, accounting and business but ended up dropping out. They had no idea what those courses were about but chose to do it for the prestige and because they could qualify. Some of those graduating with first class honours were not doing all that well in the O and A levels.

It's definitely more important for a child to find their calling as early as possible. Quite pointless to waste time doing the sciences if they're not going to have any use for it at all. They can always read up on some of these for leisure if they're interested. They don't need to have a grade for it. Not having a good grade in the subject doesn't mean they can't make a career out of it if that's truly their passion.

2ppaamm:

Charlotte's web is my younger son's English text in P4 (GEP) last year. He loves all books, finishes any book in one seating including self-help books and business books. I still do not know which book he doesn't ever like.


My daughter loved the Chronicles of Narnia and finished the whole series when she was 4. Try those out. She could still remember the story when the movie came. This daughter is so strange, she finished boring university text books when she was eleven, when i didn't even managed to finish them.

Some kids love to read so much it is strange what they read. Comics is just as interesting as journals. I find this so weird but I comics as much as bringing journals home.

:hi5: My daughter was reading a lot of law books when she was that age. It was :oops: when she once went up to 1 of our church friend who wrote 1 of the article she read to talk about what he wrote.

kabalevsky:

rosemummy:

Doesn't matter. There's lots of things to read, whether literature text or otherwise. So long as they enjoy what they're reading and learn something in the process, it's fine.

really? cos they learn lots of boogie jokes, and toilet humour and start doing lots of rubbish things for a few weeks after each reread of Cpt underpants...

If what they're learning is negative, then I guess you have to control them a little. :lol:

Pen88n:

rosemummy:

[quote=\"kabalevsky\"]rosemummy, you from GEP last time? that was your P4 text?


deardear, we all watched the show together on TV before, and I've read the book last time (the book that's on the bookshelf is mine), but they are not interested lei. but it's ok la, that's just them.

i asked cos different mommies have mentioned this in particular in different threads in different contexts, so was curious.

No, during my daughter's time. There weren't such thing as GEP, or even Normal / Express during my time.

Charlotte's Web is a very good children literature text, particularly for the value it espouses.

My kids doesn't like Charlotte's web either. My gal prefers Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing - she has re-read that book at least 3 times.[/quote]Doesn't matter. There's lots of things to read, whether literature text or otherwise. So long as they enjoy what they're reading and learn something in the process, it's fine.

deardear07:

rosemummy:

Hi deardear


I think the milestones you've indicated are the minimum ie the child is considered to have some development delay if they do not achieve that by that age. Most children are ahead of that.

yes, as mentioned earlier in the post...that is the norm and gifted children tend to be way advanced than stated.

but still, i find that list a little outdated...some seem a little too slow for norm...

It's not norm, it's minimum. If a child can't achieve those milestones, some intervention would be necessary. An average child should do so ahead of the indicated age.

2ppaamm:

I gave the 'IQ' info in my previous posts as-a-matter-of factly to anyone needing such advice. However... here's my personal take.


My kids are now much older, and I have one who is already graduating from uni, and one starting uni in a few days. Having journeyed this far, I have come to learn that giftedness means very little in real life. Those IQ tests are academic and I had to do some to help my younger son who was misdiagnosed for ASD. Fortunately, my older kids are really nice people and that really warms my heart everyday. And because they are my older kids, I had no clue how to raise them 'properly' like many great mothers here.

It was never important whether they were gifted or not, my job was always to help them discover their passions and steer them to the path that will realize their dreams. To some extent, I feel good looking at them, not because some people call them geniuses, but because they are respectful to me, and they volunteer to iron the cloths and cook a dish or two whenever I am tired. I am proud that they will train hard in their sports despite the fatigue and that they volunteer to train the younger kids. They are ordinary and sweet.

I remember how the journey was when they were young. Some told me my kids will be useless, some told me they will be somebody one day. I only knew, just like other kids, they are unique. I did not look for gifted classes to send them to, or even think they are gifted.

Now 17 and 15, I believe they are sensible and matured and most of all, know what they want and what they want to pursue. If you ask me, I believe that's the difference between my children and many of their peers. Someone once told me the earlier a person finds his calling, the more successful he will be.

I have another three more to go. I know some of my kids are more gifted than their siblings, but I raise them the same way. We have the same fun, they attend the same classes, have the same food, love the same silly jokes. My job is the same, help them find that special passion, and then find that path that will help that passion blossom. Job of a mother, to a gifted kid or not, it is more or less the same.

If the child is gifted and we can find the correct help, use that resource. I did not seek any help for my older kids. For the younger ones, I had a lot of offer for help. Unfortunately, sometimes I wished I had raised them more normally like the older ones. I already had a system in place and all these sophisticated 'help' messed up my simple process. I have learnt no one knows my kids better.

The best enrichment for a child, gifted or not, is the same. The opportunities to find his capabilities, love, friends and passion. Time to develop those. Only parents can offer that kind of enrichment. No enrichment centre, no elite IQ club can. The focus groups make our hearts grow stronger by telling us we are not alone in this journey. Ultimately, the journey still has to be traveled by ourselves, most of the time on foot. If we are fortunate, a donkey comes along and we ride on it a little while, knowing we have to be on foot again. I guess our job as mothers is to keep looking out for donkeys (coaches, teachers, friends, opportunities) and never forgetting we are the real riders together with the kids.

:goodpost:

IQ is no guarantee of success or happiness. And what's the point even if they can gain the whole world but lose their soul? It's more important that we raise children who are happy, grounded and who can find joy in loving and giving.

kabalevsky:

rosemummy, you from GEP last time? that was your P4 text?


deardear, we all watched the show together on TV before, and I've read the book last time (the book that's on the bookshelf is mine), but they are not interested lei. but it's ok la, that's just them.

i asked cos different mommies have mentioned this in particular in different threads in different contexts, so was curious.

No, during my daughter's time. There weren't such thing as GEP, or even Normal / Express during my time.

Charlotte's Web is a very good children literature text, particularly for the value it espouses.

Hi deardear


I think the milestones you’ve indicated are the minimum ie the child is considered to have some development delay if they do not achieve that by that age. Most children are ahead of that.