srieneres\" post_id=\"1996609\" time=\"1601325182\" user_id=\"168708:

I agree with you on the 'no cane' approach. When I cane, would I not be encouraging the aggressive and physical solution to the problems. However, I know parents who do cane, and I am persuaded to do so even by school teachers. So there were a few occasions when I do toggle between \"cane\" and \"no cane\". Nonetheless, I came to the conclusion that, cane is fine, but I need to be calm when I do so, i.e. I do not cane when I am angry.

Thanks for the sharing of your thoughts.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I understand that every child has his/her own unique temperament and there is no single approach that would work for everyone.

If you are open to sharing, may I know how big is your child? Under what circumstances did the school teacher make such a recommendation?

Bringing up children is a rewarding but challenging journey. It’s also an opportunity for us to re-experience the wonderful time of being a child. It brings out the best and the worst of us. If there is a mirror that can show us our true personality, that mirror is called parenting.


The physical discipline of children is a topic that is widely debated by parents, experts, and psychologists. While I would like to think that younger parents prefer a softer approach, the use of cane remains popular among Singaporeans especially those who believe in “spare the cane and spoil the child”. Some also claim that if you don’t do it, Changi Prison will do it for you when they grow up. This is baseless as I have never seen any such studies being conducted. What I observed in school when I was a kid back then is that the same group of “naughty boys” are the ones who got the cane most often. I wonder why this is the case if the cane is really that effective?

I believe the parents teaching children acceptable behaviours using corporal punishment do not have the intention to harm their children. They believe they are doing it out of love and that it is an effective discipline strategy. Their belief is more often than not based on how they were being brought up. Most children who were spanked grow up to become parents who use physical punishments as well which in turn become a Cycle of Violence.

According to this web page: https://www.verywellfamily.com/facts-about-corporal-punishment-1094806
[quote]While corporal punishment may lead to immediate compliance, researchers have found that the changes in behavior may only be short-term. In fact, studies consistently show that over the long-term, corporal punishment is ineffective and may even cause behavior problems to worsen over time. For instance, spanking children increases aggressive behavior. A multitude of research studies has found that kids who are spanked are more likely to hit other people. The reason behind this is simple. Corporal punishment models aggressive behavior, which teaches children to solve problems with violence.[/quote]Ask yourself the questions below:[list]