chrismei:

Just to share- friend's sis committed suicide recently cos hb had an affair and insisted on divorce. She left behind 2 sons and was SAHM for 2 years. Hb moved back to his mum's place after requesting for divorce. Before she committed suicide, she left a note that identified the 3rd party,hb's friends who encouraged him to divorce n also requested her hb's uncle to celebrate hb birthday after she gone...she loved him so much n wasted 16 yrs with him just becos of this 3rd party..

Do not pity the dead but the living. Poor kids.

There is NO POINT looking back unless it is to see how far you have come or to recheck direction. We move forward in life. If she was able to pull herself together and build a new life for herself and her children, I am sure she will win the admiration and respect of her children and regain her self-esteem. If she had wanted to shame the third party, she could have just gone to kick up a ruckus since she knew who that woman was.

I called and scolded the women, and in one case, threatened to go down to the office and track down her parents. She was so scared she hung up on me but I forced her to call me again. I told her to take my husband, I don't want him, but I'm going to make sure that everyone in her office and her family knows about it. I was ready to burn bridges. Two calls. She quit and left.

Wives! Take pride in yourself and your abilities! The world will not, does not, end just because your husband cheat on you! I walk with my head high. We have done nothing wrong, we do not owe anyone an explanation. If you must take revenge, take it out on the credit card, the car, the cheating couple, but never spite yourself and your kids.

Anyway, we are side tracking. Valveestate's saga continues.

Is valve estate having us on? I dunno. Anyway, I joined just to post on this, because sounds so much like what I went through on the wifey’s side, but no PRC involved.


If this is for real…I will be very surprised if V’s wife does not sense that something is amiss.

And as the wife, I much rather know instead of being the fool, hearing lame excuses that are cover up, or being shouted at because someone is feeling guilty. One look straight in the eye, one jump when on the computer/iPhone/iPad - it shows. As long as you have something to hide, you know deep inside that you are crossing the line.

Let me be the devil’s advocate. Why should we urge him to protect his marriage? His wife may find someone better. A least she will have some honesty and sincerity in her life without him. If she is smart, she will be checking through her finances and making sure she can survive on her own.

As he said hmself, there is nothing very wrong between his wife and him. He wants the stability of family life, and the side romance. Just like my husband. Yes, still my husband because of the children. I found out when I was heavily pregnant with our first child, the woman sent me all their romantic emails and jibes about their romps, flowery words about their scents "co mingling in the pillow". Like vernetta lopez’s journal hor? he begged me to forgive him, arranged for counselling, and he gave me all his email passwords - and then I caught him again four years later, an office romance.

He knelt down and begged me not to leave him, he begged my mother to help him, my children pleaded for him.

I am still with him today. He treats me well and helps out and comes home early everyday, and arrange for the boys to go to his parents so we can go to the movies sometimes. He buys me jewelry and clothes whenever he travels. He still changes the radio channel whenever the discussion is about infidelity. He was my first and only bf, and we dated for 6 years before marrying. But the joke is, he used to be the center of my life. Now I don’t think I can even shed a tear for him if he dies in a car crash. my eyes are dry by now. The only reason I stay is because he is now a good father. If he fails in this role, he is out for sure.

When I see the thread by 3boys on how to flame proof one’s marriage by putting spouse first, then children, I want to laugh. It reminds me of Black Widow’s line - "love is for children". Have you ever had a sickly child who cries every night from discomfort and pain? Who cries every day during shower because washing the wounds hurt so much? Put a tiny scrawny toddler in pain next to a big strapping adult, I say the child wins every single time. every. Single. Time. If you cannot put the child before yourself, if you cannot stick out the challenging times, you are not man enough for me.