slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2133732\" time=\"1715417360\" user_id=\"28674:

It probably makes sense to do it after marriage as I think the process could be simpler, or the fact of marriage will make it easier to justify the adoption? You should consult a lawyer about this.

Yeah. I’ve made a few appointment for lawyers to get back to me next week. Hopefully the engagement are fruitful and I can have a clear understanding regarding this. Hence, I could make a decision whether adoptions are needed. Keeping fingers crossed!

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2133726\" time=\"1715415969\" user_id=\"28674:

As far as I understand, step-parent has weaker rights and obligations towards a step-child, e.g. in terms of custody (if anything happens to you), or inheritance (if anything happens to him). Adoption will formalise the parent-child relationship, and seems to be a good sign that your fiance is happy to take on those responsibilities. I don't know much more, but here's an article I found.
https://www.gjclaw.com.sg/articles/step-parent-obligations/

Thank you slmkhoo for the reference! But I guess it can be done after ROM and changing of the kids' surnames right? As in no need to hurry doing it? Yeah, I'm very grateful that my fiancé are able to accept my kids and treating them as his own. And not forgetting his family also accepted my kids as their grandchildren and niece/nephews. So much love! :love:

For context: My ex-spouse passed on 5 years ago leaving me with 3 kids aged 5-13.


I've been with my fiancé for more than 3 years. My kids are also calling him Daddy all along. My concerns are that after we ROM, my kids will change their surname to his. But is there a need for him to legally adopt my children? What are the pros and cons of adopting? Considering the legal fees are X3. Or is it okay to just let them stay in stepfather-children status?

Does anyone have any views or suggestions on this? Needing one badly.

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2133706\" time=\"1715391471\" user_id=\"3:

I'm with you on this. It'd be kind of weird if kids have 2 surnames. Just think how THEIR children will feel when your children gets married. Maybe talk to your fiance and find out if there are any other issues surrounding this issue.

Having said this, I'm now facing another major issue of him adopting my children. Is there a need? I think I shall open a new thread for this topic.

I have the same issue here thinking whether to change to my fiancé’s surname for my kids. My kids are agreeable to it. But my fiancé insisted that my surname has to also be included. Meaning both parent’s surname are in the kids I/C. But I’m actually quite against it. I find that just by putting his surname is fine enough.


I guessed my point for changing surname is the same as one of the parents here who mentioned that school parent’s consent, wedding invitation cards in future and even addressing the child’s last name to the parent during parent’s meeting in school. By changing surname can avoid such awkward incidents.

For context: My ex passed on more than 5 years ago and not in contact with that family side anymore.