My apologies - an avalanche of work landed late last week and delayed this.
Hope you have fun with your DC with this next compo.
Copyright waived if you are a student or parent guiding your child but not otherwise.
Gb!
Snatch Thief
“What a bad day it has been!” I thought grumpily to myself. Not only did I get scolded by my boss for not completing my mountain of work on time, but I had also forgotten to bring my wallet that day and had been too embarrassed to borrow any money to take the bus home after my EZ-link card had run out of value. Lunch had been a poor meal of Milo and biscuits from the office pantry and now, tired, hungry and angry, a frown was etched on my face as I stomped back home.
Comment: One of the strategies you can use [ although the child needs to be mature enough to carry the ‘voice” of the compo through] is to write from the perspective of an adult. DD used this when the compo topic was a ‘tired” one [ set ever so often] like this one. We used more words to describe after some words to “tell” eg tired, hungry and angry, a frown was etched on my face as I stomped back home.
\tOn route, near a shopping mall in my neighbourhood, I felt a sweaty, hirsute arm knock roughly into my elbow, almost knocking me over as the culprit rushed away without even so much as a backward glance. “Why am I so unlucky today?” I moaned as I massaged my aching elbow. Wallowing in self pity, my depressed mutterings were rudely interrupted when a woman’s shrill scream pierced the air! “Thief! Help! Thief! That man stole my handbag! Catch that no good scoundrel!”
\t
Comment: “hirsute” is a word I didn’t know myself – DD picked this up from a classmate who had picked it up from a tutor. Again, instead of saying something like “ a burly man rushed past me”, we used a lot more descriptive phrases and included action, words and emotions. See too, the words we used throughout the compo to refer to the thief.
\tMy instincts kicked in and without a second thought, I rushed forward, adrenaline pumping in my veins. I ran as if powered my some unknown force and with the scumbag of a thief in sight, I mounted a last gigantic leap, soared through the air and “CRASH!!!” Alas, my aim had been poor and I had missed the rascal! Instead, concrete greeted my face even as my cheeks turned a dark shade of red in embarrassment.
Comment : The magic of 3 [ or in this case 2] at work here – we never “solve” our problem all at once. This is the first failed attempt. It gives the kids something to write about and builds a little suspense.
\tThankfully, the Fates were kind and ahead, the panting thief had himself tripped over a divider as he dodged through a swarm of shoppers blissfully unaware of all that had been happening. This lucky break fueled me with a final burst of energy and once again, I leapt into the air! This time, I hit the bull’s eye and landed right atop the rogue!
Comment: This is how the problem was resolved.\t
As I pinned the man down, a female passer-by helpfully called for the police. The victim soon arrived at the scene, panting as she tottered on her high heels. With an angry swipe, she retrieved her handbag from the exhausted thief and using it as a convenient weapon, rained blows on the poor man’s head.
” What do you think you are trying to do! Rob a lady of her hard earned money! You low- life! Can’t you get a job? You deserve to be put into jail and I hope they throw away the key after that!” the lady lectured the thief in a torrent of words, while other passers-by tried to calm her down. Fortunately for the poor thief, the police soon arrived and arrested him. I was of course commended and thanked profusely for my heroic act.
Comment: Note the description of the feisty victim and the perfunctory \" police came, arrested, thanked me profusely \" bit - there was enough focus on other parts of the compo and this is quite a \"standard\" part, so DD tended just to \"attend\" to it but not dwell on it.
As the crowd dispersed and I continued on my way home, starlight dropped her curtains down as Mother Nature painted the sky in hues of pink and gold. With lighter footsteps and a smile on my face, I was glad for a heroic ending to what had otherwise been a horrible day.
Comment: Here is our “recycled” reflection paragraph adapted to the compo at hand. The alliteration at the end makes for better reading.\t
