In-law problems?

[ngl2010]

janet_lee88:

i believe so...bcos the plastic surgeon did ask if anyone in the family has that.

Oh I didn't know that. I hope your son is done with the surgeries that he had to go through.

[3Boys]

Sun_2010:

What you lack 3b, pardon me for saying so, is empathy. You have to be thru somethings to understand the angst between the hurtful words. I,too, dont condone disrespect of MILs no matter what. While you feel an irritation, a disgust, I feel sad. That what should be a symbiotic realtionship is eating into the emotional health of the family. That is really sad. :sad:

Ouch.....

Actually, I do have empathy.....

But its for both the MILs and DILs.....

and since the DILs are well represented in this thread.....

I guess I ought to pitch a little for the unspoken MILs.

AND, you'd agree, some of the posters here go overboard with the bashing, and unreasonably to boot.

A community is best when self-policed.

A thread bashing MILs is credible when the bashing is warranted, and the more extreme or unreasonable behaviours are policed by the members of the community (\"Hey, you may be quite unreasonable in your expectation of your MIL, perhaps you should reconsider your position\")

That almost never happens.

When a poster comes in with, what seems to a neutral party, an unreasonable bash, and everyone gathers around in a group hug, instead of being circumspect, then all the bashing becomes suspect.

When I then challenge that, it is taken to be bashing ALL who gripe about their MILs.

It is not the case. For instance, I have not said anything about yours, or buds (not for a very long while anyway).

Further, quite often my posts cajole or suggest a more conciliatory approach with the PILs to resolve situations. I will probe around the edges, have you examined your own biases, have you looked at your own frames of reference, have you seen it from their side.

That is then taken to be unsympathetic to the DILs' plight. (As will this post, for sure).

It is not the case.

Yes, it is sad, it must be sad for the MILs too, but this is one thread where MILs have a hard time being seen as humans.

[Angieloo]

wow surprise at the number of in law problems everyone is facing nowadays.

[vinegar]

hi,

stresses…from dealing with kiddo’s SA n MIL woes…

whenever my dh takes leave to attend some personal matter,such as health chkup…etc…rather than we busy trying to finish all the errands b4 picking up the kiddo,dh spends times to entertain my MIL’s calls…

MIL calls my dh frequently.sometx,we really busy esp.we only hv half a day in the morning to run errands.There were many times dh had to entertain her calls than doing serious stuff…quarreled over these matters many times…don’t know how to resolve.DH oredi told her not to call so frequent…understand he is sandwich in btw…any suggestion?

now dh took 2days to help kiddo to revise for SA n running some errands.I am sure his leaves will be wasted on entertaining her calls.She creates troubles everytime she knows my dh takes leaves for him or us,but not them

[ngl2010]

vinegar:

hi,

stresses....from dealing with kiddo's SA n MIL woes...

whenever my dh takes leave to attend some personal matter,such as health chkup..etc...rather than we busy trying to finish all the errands b4 picking up the kiddo,dh spends times to entertain my MIL's calls.....

MIL calls my dh frequently.sometx,we really busy esp.we only hv half a day in the morning to run errands.There were many times dh had to entertain her calls than doing serious stuff....quarreled over these matters many times..don't know how to resolve.DH oredi told her not to call so frequent...understand he is sandwich in btw...any suggestion?

now dh took 2days to help kiddo to revise for SA n running some errands.I am sure his leaves will be wasted on entertaining her calls.She creates troubles everytime she knows my dh takes leaves for him or us,but not them

Can your DH just say he is in the office?

[vinegar]

ngl2010:

vinegar:

hi,

stresses....from dealing with kiddo's SA n MIL woes...

whenever my dh takes leave to attend some personal matter,such as health chkup..etc...rather than we busy trying to finish all the errands b4 picking up the kiddo,dh spends times to entertain my MIL's calls.....

MIL calls my dh frequently.sometx,we really busy esp.we only hv half a day in the morning to run errands.There were many times dh had to entertain her calls than doing serious stuff....quarreled over these matters many times..don't know how to resolve.DH oredi told her not to call so frequent...understand he is sandwich in btw...any suggestion?

now dh took 2days to help kiddo to revise for SA n running some errands.I am sure his leaves will be wasted on entertaining her calls.She creates troubles everytime she knows my dh takes leaves for him or us,but not them

Can your DH just say he is in the office?

If we've something to do,I told my dh to tell her that u r in meeting,can't talk for long.But she is super nagging.Will still talking or keep calling later.

[buds]

Whatever does she have to talk about with him ever so often? :roll:

[ngl2010]

Vinegar, is your DH the only child?

[Funz]

buds:

Whatever does she have to talk about with him ever so often? :roll:

If like my MIL last time, call to ask if he remembered brushed his teeth, whether he has eaten. Or to complain about FIL, to whine to DH about not having enough money, to remind him to drink more water, etc, etc, etc.

These days MIL is much better. But she still sends mushy smses to DH. The kind that can be mistaken as those a 3rd party might send . Eg, \"Hi Darling/Dear, have not heard from you the last few days. You must be very busy. Remember to take care of your health. I miss you. God bless. Love U.\"

[buds]

Aiyoh. :frustrated: Same pattern with mine oso..... the darling and the dear and the miss you-s and the love-you-s and the take care and the ...... and the ...... but the have you eaten and brushed teeth a bit much leh. He's not only child issit Funz, but still a baobei must be.