All About Full-Time Maids
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Notksmum:
Thanks for the advice. I am someone who is skeptical about getting a maid as she'll always be a ＂stranger in the house\". My 4 kids are all under 7. Need to resort to looking for a maid as my elder son was abused by caregiver. He can already talk but did not speak about it as he was being threatened to be thrown downstairs out of the window. I came to know about the prolonged physical and emo abuse only when he was very badly thrashed up two weeks ago. I am still working and had placed my youngest toddler in cc. Still, having to fetch my DS1 and DD2 to school to and fro, doing housework is having a toll on me. The only problem is I do not know how to cook, driving them over to in law hse to settle dinner daily is driving me nuts too. If I were to get a maid, there will be times she wil be alone at home or with the kids. Heard a lot of horror stories already about maids. Yet, I am willing to try if getting a helper can work out for me.Hi beauty79,
Every agency got pros and cons; I think its impt to find an agency who can counsel helpers with the right working attitude and the helper is able to meet my prescribed houserules and assigned duties. I emphasise this A LOT when I was sourcing for agencies recommended by friends. If the agent give me long, short story, explain explain or try to persuade me to take an existing maid by bending some of my rules etc etc, I will not hesitate to drop the agent. I am paying good money for their services (not cheap nowadays) and hence I expect good services. Maid quality is v subjective I guess because of a few factors:
1. Level of Capability and Capacity
2. Personality and Character
Its easier to train (1) than change (2). (2) is about luck. If the helper that come on board have personality clashes with u, then it will forever be an issue even though you can try to train.
Personally, I prefer to mitigate risks when I hire a helper. I will inform the agent of my requirements, give them my prescribe houserules and duty list and they source. After that, from biodata, i will interview. And I do ask a whole lot of questions. Basically, to find out their purpose/intention, family background, even simple questions like if they know how to do laundry etc. With the houserules, there is less dispute if any later with both agency and helper. Because sometimes, its really word against word. My helper is aware that she will be sent home if she breaks the following grave rules:
1. Break the law, get pregnant, have bf, get unknown S** diseases
2. Let a stranger into my home without my knouwledge
3. Abuse my child
4. Steal or Lie
5. Own a mobile phone or SIM card without my knowledge (I purchase ICC card for my helper to call home once a mth and also on special occasions like Mum's birthday, Dad's birthday, her Son's birthday etc)
As for whether children sleep with helper, my DS is around 2 and cannot really speak up so for now, he still sleeps with us. If I had older children who already know difference of right and wrong, probbaly I will, because if helper abuses them, my chidlren will know how to speak up/complain.
I prefer to hire new helper than EX or transfer cases because they bring along old habits that die hard. New helper require time to train but the effort is worth it because in the end, they follow what you train them. This also reduces the clashes when you try to change an experienced maid with her existing habits.
As for cooking, I started off buying recipe books from popular. Also, I had a thermal soup pot and 3 tier steamer (when I did not have helper, I had to make meals v fast on my own cos FTWM). So I taught helper to make simple boiled soups, steam fish/steam chicken/steam meat/steam egg and simple stir fry veg. or Just veg soup with steam something.
You can enrol helper in one of those cooking classes so she can learn more dishes. I have not done so because I take every sunday to teach helper one new dish each week.
I wish you all the best in getting a good helper. GOOD LUCK.
Is it true that if I am willing to pay more then can get filipino u grad? They are the creame of the crop? -
Yes you can get a graduate but it doesn’t mean they will make a better maid. Their English will probably be better but they may not be as good at managing housework and children, especially if they haven’t worked as a maid before. I have never looked at academic qualifications but more at their experience and their personalities.
I "lost" two maids to jobs in Canada for which you do need a degree so I would actually prefer them not to have one now
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hi beauty79,
Oh dear. I really pity your predicament. As a FTWM, I can totally understand that daily logistics puts undue/unseen mental pressure. Personally, I do not like to hire Filipino graduates nor singles (they tend not to work for very long (citing going home to get married etc) and they have preference and requirements for social life -> at this point of their life, their priorities in life differ from just trying to make money for family). I prefer just high school diploma with some working experience. I also like to look for helpers who have some form of financial committment back home. ie. They need the money or are sole/sub breadwinners. I dig deep into family background and even asking whether they have friends or relatives here. I like to select helpers with small families and from provinces. They are simpler and because they need the money, they work hard. I am not expecting my helper to teach my children anything so if my priority is just household chores and simple daily care giving (FYI, my DS is in full day cc). So most of the time my helper is at home doing chores and cooking and I monitor her through cctv.
That being said, I do a lot of brainwashing and educate my helper about saving her money and not spend on frivolous things, plan her future etc.About safety and security ie why I put cctv because its for her safety as she is alone at home all the time. I show her articles from newspaper from time to time about maids who get raped or house broken into etc so she understands why I put the cctv. Alternate reason is to ensure she doesn’t bring in strangers into the hse. -
Notksmum:
Cannot agree more with this.hi beauty79,
I also like to look for helpers who have some form of financial committment back home. ie. They need the money or are sole/sub breadwinners. I dig deep into family background and even asking whether they have friends or relatives here. I like to select helpers with small families and from provinces. They are simpler and because they need the money, they work hard.
This is more so for those maids who are here to put their kids into private schools at home or in uni.
My best maid had only primary school education and her home is a wooden hut where they cook with firewood. Her family are workers of a landowner. She is able to act as a caregiver to elderly (handling medication and injections), cook, housekeeping and look after kids with time on weekends to learn cake making.
The ones who came after the new regulations on minimum education level cannot even come close. -
beauty79:
If I were to get a maid, there will be times she wil be alone at home or with the kids. Heard a lot of horror stories already about maids. Yet, I am willing to try if getting a helper can work out for me.
I suggest u install cctv/cameras living/dining areas and ur rooms. Get those that can turn so u can see a wider angle with 1 cam, then install a few to get views of almost the whole house. I did that when DC were younger with maid alone at home, log in via office laptop or mobile to keep tabs of what's gg on at home while i m at work. Better peace of mind.
Install them before your maid arrives, and explain to her why u hv cameras at home. I told mine the purpose is not to monitor her, if she does her work etc. i told them its for safety purpose cos only she and young children at home, also for me to monitor DC, whether are they taking too long to eat their meals, are they watching tv etc. Dun make them feel u r scrutinising them. -
I agree that the younger, more educated maids does not equate to better help. In fact, some of them are quite priviliged growing up - never touch a kid, never do house work, never cooked in their lives (despite all the lies in their CV). I recently helped my brother to choose his maid. After having one of those (young, educated ones) that really, at the end even confessed that she came here for a "holiday"… we chose one that has experience working as a maid, has young children at home, and is about 30 years old.
The logic is that first, working as a maid is not NEW to them. The work, the concept, the hours, the responsibility. Second, they are not here for a holiday. They actually have financial commitment and have bills to pay at home (instead of thinking about disco, parties, dresses, where to go the following weekend, etc). You are less likely to get distress calls from the family, too … those nonsense about who misses who, who is sick, who asking who to go home, etc.
My 2 cents worth… -
So true! Just before I got my current helper, I had one of these educated ones. She was working as a nurse in her hometown and wanted to come to Singapore as what she would earn here as a helper was loads more than what she would earn there as a nurse.
She came just before the long CNY holidays. She used to wake up around 8 am (after I woke her up) and run into her room by 8 pm. I didnt bother too much with that since it was the long weekend. Once I started going back to work, it became immediately apparent to her, she's not cut out for this kind of work. So she started telling me her father is seriously ill home and she wants to go back. Luckily her WP was not issued by MOM (coz of the CNY holidays) and the agent quickly sent her back!
Got a new helper who is in the late thirties, barely know English - but her work ethic is so good! She takes initiative and is really god-sent! More than ever, now i firmly believe that getting young and educated helpers is a total waste of time. Maybe someone has a young/educated helper who is worth her weight in gold, but I have yet to see it.straffan23:
I agree that the younger, more educated maids does not equate to better help. In fact, some of them are quite priviliged growing up - never touch a kid, never do house work, never cooked in their lives (despite all the lies in their CV). I recently helped my brother to choose his maid. After having one of those (young, educated ones) that really, at the end even confessed that she came here for a \"holiday\".... we chose one that has experience working as a maid, has young children at home, and is about 30 years old.
The logic is that first, working as a maid is not NEW to them. The work, the concept, the hours, the responsibility. Second, they are not here for a holiday. They actually have financial commitment and have bills to pay at home (instead of thinking about disco, parties, dresses, where to go the following weekend, etc). You are less likely to get distress calls from the family, too ... those nonsense about who misses who, who is sick, who asking who to go home, etc.
My 2 cents worth... -
I think it really does depend a lot on the person and also on what you are looking for. If you need someone who can be independent and hit the ground running then a slightly more educated maid may help.
I did have two maids with degrees both of whom were very good - I think the reason was that they had their own children back in the Philippines as well as younger siblings. They both also had prior experience in Singapore when they came to me. Personality-wise they were on the quiet side and that it what I think made the difference. They weren’t the type to easily make friends or to socialise and only mixed with their cousins and friends of their cousins.
My current maid who only has a high-school diploma and is single is much more outgoing and seems to know every maid within about 1 km of our house. She is nowhere near as diligent as the other two. -
ScaredyMum:
Install them before your maid arrives, and explain to her why u hv cameras at home. I told mine the purpose is not to monitor her, if she does her work etc. i told them its for safety purpose cos only she and young children at home, also for me to monitor DC, whether are they taking too long to eat their meals, are they watching tv etc. Dun make them feel u r scrutinising them.
Agree!
Truth be said, who wants to look at the maid? It is our darlings we want to look at. That is what I will tell my maid as well when we put up the cameras. Good thing her recent escapades gave us good reasons to instal the cams. without being too apologetic about it.
And after instaling just one pointing at the front gate, we found ourselves looking forward eagerly to see our DS coming back and going to school in his schoolbus. How nice! :love:
:celebrate: -
Yes, DC used to wave goodbye and blew flying kisses to me over e cam when they were in lower Pri. Now they wave hello when they are back
We get to see if they are back late or not too.
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