What is wrong with my son?!!!
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JJJmom:
That reminds me as an adult to be more forgiving when our children fell/failed to meet our expectation, to sympathize them and support them when they need us most.
Perhaps you may also like to get or make an 'encouragement' card for your boy to motivate him?
I felt somewhat ashamed of myself when I received that note. While I was rather critical when he failed to meet my expectations, he was consoling when I failed. When I was under tremendous stress driving with my husband seated beside me and lecturing me for the silly mistakes, my boy stood up for me and consoled me that he understood how I felt - then I realised that that was how he felt whenever I raised my voice to lecture him for some silly homework mistakes or demanded that he give me the solution of a particular question on the spot.
:oops: -
Hi Jedamum,
Your son's note made feel ashamed of myself too. Whenever I made mistakes, my kids will tell me \"It's ok, mommy. Just be more careful next time.\" But I can't say I did the same every time when they made mistakes. :oops:
I shall bookmark your son's note to constantly remind myself the forgiving spirit that I should shower on them.
Thanks for sharing :!: -
EN:
I am happy to find someone else who think the same way as me
If I'm upset with my kids performance, I often reflect back how I am at their age. My kids inherited my genes, my quirks, my abilities & my short falls.
I am happy enough when my kids can do as well as me when I was their age.
My hubby sometimes complain to me that my boy is not like my girl. Then I will tell him, that my girl has my genes, but my boy has his genes hahaha So he can only blame himself.
Jedamum,
Thanks for sharing the note your boy wrote to you He is so sweet
My kids are still very young, so when they make mistakes, I simply correct them, and I don't make any other comments. Even though my boy make the same mistakes more than 10 times, I correct him but I do not say anything else. I want them to know that it is OK to make mistakes, but they must learn from their mistakes and try their best to do the correct things in the future. -
CKS wrote [quote]Don't punish him. Instead, bring him out for dinner, saying that you just want to celebrate the completion of yet another year, but not the results. [/quote]
We went celebrating for good food & later I bought a Lego set for my kids to share immediately after exam. I told them thanks for working hard & putting up with the daily revision that we've done since January till date. My kids are pleasantly surprise because the results are not out yet. For me whom has been spending at least an hour daily revising school work with them at night after a hard day at work, I can understand the effort they have put in. It's not easy to discipline oneself when the body & mind is screaming for rest or play.
Tamarind wrote [quote]My hubby sometimes complain to me that my boy is not like my girl. Then I will tell him, that my girl has my genes, but my boy has his genes hahaha So he can only blame himself. [/quote]Life is sometimes unfair. My ds inherit both my husband & my good qualities. My dd inherit a lot of our shortcoming. I know my shortfall. My attention span is extremely short if I'm not interested in a subject, my mind starts to wonder. I fell asleep in class from primary school up to uni for some subjects. I usually think back how I overcome my short fall & I hope the same solution works on my dd.
To all parents whose child is weak in math, the only way is to do a daily revision. Make sure they grasp the basic concept. Even with daily work, the result will not be apparent immediately. It might take more than a year of hard work just to see slight improvement.
For English & mother tongue, the language should be part of our daily life. Why do Singapore government has \"Speak Mandarin\" campaign? It is through daily usage, that we improve our language. -
mummyoftwo:
Yes, think so. For younger kids Pre-Primary, Shichida, I-Genius, Ric Cognitive and few others but thier fees are the same, quite highJH:
My son is in P1 this year and he is also very careless, cannot focus and don't know how to read the question again and again till he understand. His SA2 was not good too. One of my friend told me that his nephew, P5 this year did quite badly for the past few years. Recommeded by one of the friends, he attended 1 of the enrichment school (quite famous) and for don't know 1 or 2 terms. This year his result although were not very good but he passed the subjects that he used to fail. The school's fee were quite expensive but could pay by instalments. His parent are very happy with what they have spent. Do you think we should try out these centres? They are said to have methods to teach the child how to remember things, motivate them and parents must also attend some kind of talk too. Any parents with kids going to these centres can share?
Is this MindCamp as i heard they are good but for bigger kids, not kindergarten and below - fees are real high.. Not sure if anyone heard of this or there's other centers that does this? -
jedamum:
Hi Jedamum,
ChiefKS,ChiefKiasu:
We were so much more forgiving then of his failures and falls, but the moment he made it, somehow the magic is broken and we expect more. We forget how we ourselves had difficulty learning to walk in the first place. We no longer applaud his ability to run or talk because we EXPECT him to be able to do so. And now we apply the same expectation on our children to be able to score well on subjects that they only started learning a couple of months ago, just because his teachers expect them to be able to do so, and his classmates seem to have no problems with the subject matter. We need to take a step back and try to see it from his point of view. Perhaps then we will see the mountain that he sees in place of the ant-hill that we assume the problem to be.
Thanks for highlighting that. Ya..I do need to keep my expectations in check at times. Whenever I feel like flaring up over the failure to do well, it helps to remember that my boy was there for me when I http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_FucD9Mp8vRI/SL4_v9HP0JI/AAAAAAAABAc/SapCHHJNpIA/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg too.
Don't worry or feel sad. Your son is caring and kind. He would do better as he grows older. I think the personality is also something you are concern about. It is not easy to change the character but for studies you can always guide him. As he matures, the academic result will be good too. Be happy and relieve that you have a good boy. I'm sure our kids will make it one day. -
yat23yat23:
Thanks yat23yat23, will look up in the net and wait for your update.JH,
I will definitely update everyone about the outcome of the talk by Dr Doris Ang (she's got her own clinic). She has dyslexia and had her fair share of problems coping with schoolwork and her family's criticisms. If you type in her name in the internet, there'll be a lot of info about her work and contributions. She also gives talk at KKH (child guidance clinic), SPARKS and many other institutions.
I'm happy to be able to pour out my feelings. Thanks for all the words of encouragement. -
Hi all,
Sharing some thoughts from Dr James Dobson about Teaching Failure to Children.
" One of the best ways to show your children how to succeed may just be to teach them how to fail. Our children must see how that Mum and Dad can admit their failure and their shortcomings, and that the world won’t end because they did. Some of the greatest times of growth between parents and children can occur when youngsters see Mum and Dad not get what they’re going after and still feel all right about themselves and each other. It tells them that winning isn’t always normal or possible, and that even when you fail, life goes on. Teaching our kids to win and succeed is a noble thing. But teaching them to handle frustration and failure may be just as important." -
EN:
EN,My attention span is extremely short if I'm not interested in a subject, my mind starts to wonder. I fell asleep in class from primary school up to uni for some subjects. I usually think back how I overcome my short fall & I hope the same solution works on my dd.
We have one more similarity ! I used to fall asleep in class too ! Especially in university during boring lectures. I can sleep through the entire lectures. In the end I barely manage to get my degree. The lesson I learn is that I should have chosen a course which I am really interested in.
In secondary school, I loved maths but really hated English literature. I refused to study literature because I was simply not interested. So I am not going to expect my kids to do well in every subject.
Why should parents set our own standards, and expect our kids to meet those standards ? Why not let the kids set their own standards ? -
csc:
...One of the best ways to show your children how to succeed may just be to teach them how to fail...
Yes... that is so true... however, in my case, I think it is my son who is teaching me how to fail. I was ranting away at how our father and son team keep getting wiped out at one of the xbox shoot-it-up game and was only awaken when my son say out of exasperation: \"Daddy... it's only a game!\" I was totally embarrassed :oops: by that incident, and hope to be a much better example for my son instead.
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